BILL HICKS

"It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks pretty good to me right now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy right now."

"A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross? Kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on, you know."

"I was talking about blowjobs, and a woman in the audience shouted: 'You ever tried it?' I said: 'Yeah. Almost broke my back ...'"

Im suprised you didn't post any of his material about weed. Bill Hicks was the greatest.