Penguin's rant of the day.

Okay, all. I've decided that once every day I'm going to have a rant and post it in another board that I'm a staff member in. I want to share them with y'all too, since I love you guys. Basicly I pick apart bits of tradition, society, religions, politics, and more. Every rant has one topic. Let's get my inaugeral address up in here...
Okay...Where to begin....
Okay.
Conservative assholes.
What the fuck is wrong with these people!? All you hear from them on the news, is how they're cutting taxes, fighting wars in the name of God, and how they're untouchable. Finally, the big conservative Bushy scandal comes out. But what happens when someone tells him what he did is unconstitutional? "You gave me the power, I'm just using it." Spoken like a true fucking dictator. Listen, Bushmaster, the fourth amendment of the constitution tells you that you CAN NOT under ANY circumstance invade the privacy of a US citizen without a warrant. If you were a police officer, you could call probable cause, but making a bill that lets you go against the constitution? The "Patriot" Act? There's nothing fucking patriotic about it, you ignorant fucking prick.

Enough Bush Bashing, the real target of my inaugural address is Conservatives as a whole. The reason is this: Any time someone gets on their case, they don't give a reasonable answer. They take it as a threat and do everything in their power to attack the person that is criticizing them. A lot of the time, they say "Well you're just a brainwashed liberal who does nothing but listen to the liberal press". OUR FOUNDING FATHERS GAVE US THE FREEDOM OF THE PRESS, YOU FOOLS! Instead of blindly ATTACKING us, blow the dust off of your greedy motherfucking brain and tell us what's up. If I'm called a "Brainwashed liberal asshole" by anyone but my closest friends, I'm going to kill the person. Maybe, if they're a person that doesn't bother me to much, I'll settle for kicking them in the nuts. But if it's someone on the street? He's gonna find himself with a fire hydrant up his ass. If it's someone I hate? It's goin' in rough, baby! No vaseline for you!

let's start in on the right to persue happyness, shall we? wait, we have that right? what if it makes me happy to be a street thief? by law, you cannot arrest me... oh, but i guess im wrong huh?

Numero Dos. If I offend you, I'm sorry.

Next up on my hit list IS...Drumroll please...*small kid with little snare drum does a drumroll* FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIANS!!!!

First of all, there are 3 kinds of Chrstians. The one I belong to, is the people who are Christian by blood/brute force. Then there's the willingly Christian people who are nice, but keep quiet about their beliefs. Then there are those RETARDED fucking Born-Again-Jesus-Is-Coming-Hide-Your-Bong-You're-Evil-And-Going-To-Hell FUNDAMENTALIST Christians. For all of you who DON'T know what Fundamentalism means, that means you believe what you're told, you DO what you're told, and that your Holy book has no errors and that whatever it says is Law and cannot be denied. Well you know what? Nothing, I have no problem with what they want to believe...BUT....Oh, it's a big but, these FUNDAMENTALIST -ASSHOLES- just can't seem to SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THEIR BELIEFS!!! They take Jesus's instructions to Spread The Good News WAYYYYY TOOO FUCKING SERIOUSLY!!!! Fucking assholes like the guy who does the 700 Club show who said that 9/11 happened because of FEMINISM and the deplorable moral state of our country. Well, you know what asshole? You're bending down to a GOD who KILLS PEOPLE. And you want murderers dead, right? Well, I think you should prove Nietzche right and KILL GOD.

Okay, well, these are the kinds of FUCKING idiots that come up to you, sniff around you, and say "I CAN SMELL YOUR EVIL! GET BEHIND ME, SATAN!" and get all on your case about whatever the fuck you do in your free time that pisses them off so bad. Ooohhh, I'm going to hell for smoking this reefer, oooohhhh, I'm going to burn in eternal flames and agony because I'm not a Christian. I'm sick of this fucking shit. You know what assholes? If you come up to me and say I'm going to hell again, I'm going to kill you and send you off to your God. I'm sick of your fucking bullshit, and I'm sure God wants to hear why you got on my case so much.