for one and only.....

the person that is for will know who they are... i don't care what anyone else thinks of what i write, it's for one person, and one person only... i posted it here because they're sure to see it since they shadow me constantly... to any (since that's all anyone seems to do to what i write, poetry atleast) that wants to bad mouth my shit, i have one giant fuck you and a middle finger you can sit on and rotate... i'm coming unraveled at the seams and i don't care anymore.....


Why do you hate me?

you claim to love me, yet i know otherwise
it can't be so, for the way you treat me
you tortue me, and ignore all my cries
do you think i'm blind, do you think i can't see?
i know that feeling, the cold shoulder you give
i've experienced it all before, nothing new
you care, but make it so hard to live
maybe if you walked in, and found my face blue
then perhaps you would show some type of feeling
but between your hurts, there isn't ever even,
a chance for my soul to rest for healing...
i'm insane, i'm not completely stuipd, you know
please don't insult me, and treat me as if i'm stupid
i know better, i can ready you clearly, so clearly...
i can read you like a childrens books, so easily
the pain of my life has prepared me for such things...
outcasts tend to be treated as stupid, and ingnorant
yet, it's all wrong, we know so well, too well...
when we're not wanted, and not so inconsiderate...
to be around people that obviously never wanted us.
that's what seperates us from the others labled unjustly
labled simply as losers, fore they don't seem to get the picture
but we do, we are smarter than to dredge on pain
when we can end it so easily... so easily....
all we have to do, is go to sleep... just go to sleep, forever.

you know who you are, this is your last chance to fix shit before you lose me forever... because at this point, death almost enticing to what i have now... last time i'm going to say this, plain and simple so there's no confusion.....
FIX IT OR LOSE ME FOREVER. no more warnings, no more "helping" you fix stuff when you don't even care what i say to try and help you....you're on your own, i'm tried of trying to help you and all i get is another excuse of why you can't. if i did it, so can you....if anything, you are MORE capable then i am....

man, that's fucking sad.

Don't fuck up your life for a chick dude. Especially one who treats you like shit. My first real girlfriend treated me like shit for three years. Always cheated on me, always made everything seem like my fault, even the smallest thing was a big deal to her. When finally I broke up with her because she was dating another guy on the side, i ended up in the er for two days (od'd on painkillers and sleeping pills and cut my wrists) and then a teenage mental ward for 3 weeks.

Then I realized there were other chicks, prettier ones who would treat me better. It took me like a half a year of isolation, confusion, masturbation, and the computer, but now I've got a girlfriend and this girl is into me, big time. She's prettier then my ex ((they're both beautiful though)) and she doesn't stalk me ((lol, i remember having to cover my ass on the boards evertime I'd say something stupid on cann.com thinking I had some privacy from people I knew in real life)) and shes insanely nice to me without being submissive.

In conclusion: There are other fish in the sea if you can't save this one. Good luck with saving it, but if you can't, don't do anything stupid. Mental wards are worse then an emotionally abusive girlfriend. ((I bunked with a guy who talked for hours about 'nigguhz and they big cars always tawkin all dumb thinkin' they so bad with they guns and shit the nigguhz i always see tawkin big i juss kickem in da face'))

Live for other loves if you can't for that one. They're out there, and take a while to find, but in my experience it was worth it.

Hope she sees this and gets the hint though, honestly.

slipknotpsycho, you are probably my favorite person on these boards and i don't want you to be all depressed and shit over a woman... listen to daisy chains advice man.

i like the poem alot btw, i try to write my own sometimes but they don't turn out anything like that.