Doctor G and the Preacher

While I am possessed of a spiritual side I do not appreciate anyone trying
to sell me on a particular religion. While my deepest personal opinion is that there
is no greater evil than organized religion I do not feel obligated to force that
opinion on other people nor do I insist that they agree with my view point. I am
honest enough to realize that what works for me may not work for other people.
In the mid 1970â??s I was working in Wyoming on an oil rig. It was in some
ways a hellish job. I was up six days a week at 4:30 in the morning and out of the
house by 5am. I had to be at the yard by 5:20 so we could pile into the truck at
5:30 and start the one and a half hour drive to the drill rig for our twelve hour shift.
When I got home about 8:45 I would put a hamburger patty on the stove and
head for the shower. I had to wash fast so the patty didnâ??t burn and by 8:55 I
would shovel some food into my mouth while smoking a fat joint and gulping at a
glass of whiskey. By 9:15 I was in bed, headed for sleep so I could get up again
at 4:30 the next morning. It was not a schedule that left a lot of room for a social
life or any spare time.
I was in the shower when I heard the doorbell ring. I was expecting Craig
to come by with a bag of weed so I stepped out, grabbed a towel and opened the
front door. There on the stoop was a man and a woman.
Clad in dark clothes they were each holding a bible and a couple of
pamphlets. Under other circumstances I might have welcomed the opportunity to
discuss our fundamental differences in philosophy but at this point I could smell
my dinner starting to burn. Dripping wet with my hair down to my waist and clad
only in a towel I would have thought they would have had the common courtesy
to apologize for interrupting my activities but as with most fanatics they were only
focused on their needs; the need to spread the gospel as they saw it.
â??Have you heard the word of God ?â?� the lady asked me. She had to be
about 50. I could see that at some point her life had been hard. Her skin was
sallow and pale, the result of a previous life steeped in alcohol and cigarettes.
Her partner, while standing tall and straight, had the stooped shoulders of a man
who had spent too many days without sleep that could never be recovered.
Dressed in a suit that had been through at least two owners he held his chin level
and firm. I looked at the issue of the â??Watchtowerâ?� they held out like a lifeline and
I knew instantly this was not going to be easy. I rapidly considered the various
ways I could convince them to leave me alone to finish my evening ritual and only
one option crossed my mind.
â??Why yes; yes I haveâ?� I told them. â??Please come in and letâ??s talk about
Godâ??s love for man.â?�
They stepped into my apartment and I smiled.
â??If youâ??ll just give me a momentâ?� I told them with a smile and I strode into
the kitchen to turn off the stove.
While in the kitchen it took only a couple of seconds to find the largest of
my butcherâ??s cleavers and I dropped my towel and headed back towards the front
door.
Making eye contact with the woman I raised the knife high in front of me
and smiled; then I told her
â??Yes, I have heard the word of God. In fact I talked to him just this morning
and he told me I should kill all false preachers and if youâ??ll just stand there for a
few more seconds I will fulfill His request.â?�
With that I strode quickly across the dining room and into the front hall.
The first sight of a naked man with a butchers cleaver had frozen them in place
but as I moved towards them they instinctively moved away. The furthest away
they could hope for was back out the front door and away from my apartment. As
I stepped outside into the glow of the streetlamps I could see their movement go
from hurrying to a full run as they ignored the other apartment doors on my block.
At a full tilt run they crossed the street against the light and my last sight of them
was as they crossed the next intersection headed at top speed down the block.

Ok it's not exactly a stoner story. But I thought you might like it.
Take care
See you in Amsterdam in Febuary
Doctor G

hahahaha thats hilarious

Hahaha a nice story as always, Dr. G. Keep 'em coming, I love reading those.

awesome. I first looked at your post and I was like "damn its going to take like 45 minutes to read this (I am high)" but then to my surprise it only took one minute and 2 seconds and it was well worth it. thank you