Female comebacks!!!!!!!

FEMALE "COMEBACKS"
Attention female readers! Are you sick and tired of those stupid old pick-up lines that men continue to use? Here are some great comebacks! :p :p :p


Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: "Just because you fuck a lot of diseased cocks, that doesn't mean you can call yourself the receptionist of a VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Oh really? 'Cause I saw you at Modelling School...I always just figured that you never came back because you're so fat an ugly"

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "Nope, you're wrong. If I sat down, I'd need your seat in order to rest my ginormous penis."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: " I don't know. It would be just as hard to fit ONE person under a rock, don't you think?...idiot."

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: I only gave you two options...and 'both' wasn't one of them...idiot."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man:" Nevermind, I'll probably be able to find it in the Yellow Pages under 'Female Escorts.'"

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: Why was that even a comeback? You're ugly enough as a chick, let alone a GUY...idiot *slap*"

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"
Man:"So, pretty much the exact opposite sign as your mother?"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"
Man: "All eggs are unfertilized you fucking moron! After an egg's been fertilized, it's called an embryo...idiot."

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: "Awesome, I love lesbians!"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "That's not what I had in mind *punch her in the face*"

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Oh I'm not cheap...I normally charge $200 a night, but for you it would have to be at least $400."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".
Man: Why? OH! I know! Because your dick's bigger than mine you transvesdite!"

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "..temple of DOOM! *rip out her heart*"

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "Gold-digging bitch! *slap*"

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?
Man: "That was a trick question...there is no 'end of the world.'
Thanks for saving me the trouble of finding out whether you were a moron or not...idiot."

Tilde's comebacks were... interesting...

A comeback I heard of... turning down a girl, too. Actually happened.

"Are those Bugle Boy's you're wearing?"
"Why? Do you wanna blow my bugle?"

Whoever said it is my hero...A1 sir!
Off-topic, but why do you say "Oh Snap", Lola?

why not?

hmm the orginal ones were funny but the second set was just lame. Why would you call a girl fat or ugly after you just tryed to pick her up? obviously she had to be good looking to start talking to her so the male comebacks were just stupid.

what does it mean?? lol

Well, obviously any girl who wouldn't automatically swoon to my totally awesome pick-up lines MUST be ugly and stupid...it can't be my fault, right? :) Only people with my sense of humor (which, by default, is THE sense of humor) can understand it.
GAH! You answered a question with another question :mad: Fine, I guess I'll have to end everything with an enigmatic statement.

SEXY RUBBERDUCKY!

talking of chat up lines !

how'bout,

man = excuse me, do u wash your knickers with windowlene ?

girl = no, why ?

man = i can see myself in them !

:D

Haha, that was a good one! However I prefer

Man: "Can I come on your face?"
*and then the man procedes to come on her face*

What I like about this one is that it doesn't require a response