Dr. Marvin Assferahat speaks out

New York City - Scientists meeting this
week at The Mad Scientist's Convention in
New York announced that recent
breakthroughs in the area of cloning will
soon end the problem of the endangered
species.

Dr. Marvin Assferahat, director of The
London Center for Cloning and Edible English
Cuisine stated in his address to the
assembled scientists and press corps, "The
days of the endangered species are
numbered. No longer will the world weep for
the Peninsulat Big Horn Sheep, or the Florida
Panther, or the Bengal Tiger. Cloning is the
obvious answer. If we can clone a bloody
sheep, for God's sake, we should be able to
clone a measly frog. I mean, bloody hell!"

The frog Assferahat was referring to is the
California Red Legged Frog, which was
recently declared an endangered species by
the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. "The
Service designated 4,000,000 acres of land
off limits to industry, so that the little red
bastards could pro create. Apparently,
they're valuable, for some reason. I mean,
they're frogs. But I guess they shit gold or
something."

"This incredible waste of land could be
avoided if the world would simply get out of
our way, and let us scientists build a better,
more efficient world. There's simply no need
to prevent the building of nuclear power
plants and hazardous chemical facilities in
the pristine wilderness, just because some
idiotic amphibian won't drop its knickers for
a little species coitus. We can grow the
bloody farts in a petri dish."

But cloning would not only help repopulate
the shrinking animal kingdom. According to
Assferahat, "We can make them bigger. And
if there's suddenly a surplus of woodland
creatures scurrying about, at some point
we'll have to kill many of them to keep the
species from becoming overpopulated. I
mean, think of it. A Red Legged Frog, the
size of a football, with its red legs
smothered in barbecue sauce and grilled to
perfection."

Assferahat concluded, "Now that's good
eating."

The conference was sponsored by Dow
Chemical, Exxon, and McDonalds, Inc


Originaly from BSNN.net.