Christ rose up today
and then went back to bed as it was way to early and no one was up yet, the coffee wasn't made, and his first appointment wasn't till eight thirty, something about fixing a club foot.
He had a press conference at 10:00 am and was expected to be quite Godly as the wire service would be there to broadcast his news to the whole listing world.
He was back, and they wanted to make a big thing out of it, couldn't he just kick back for a day and smoke some good weed?
every where he went people were following, he would look behind him and sure enough there they were, followers, even into the bathroom, couldn't they take a hint. get a life he wanted to scream, but you have to lead by example and he didn't want to scare them, they were so unpredictable when you did that.
at ten he had to have his shit together and tell them there were now twelve or was it thirteen total commandments, he knew that he had the original ten firmly entrenched in most followers minds, he had already told them the eleventh, it was not a hard one, LOVE ONE ANOTHER AS I HAVE LOVED YOU.
he wasn't sure how they would take the twelfth one, because it would actually help them, and they didn't help themselves very readily.
how would he break it to them? just come out and say it??
might scare them, or they may not believe it, but they had to, right? seeing who is saying it, he had to at least have a reputation as an honest man.
he may as well get up again, with all this on his mind he wouldn't sleep anyway and the dreams about Mary Magdelan were about to cause his sheets to get wet,
man she could party, all night long.
he wanted to get the paper from the bushes where the little fat kid threw it as he puffed and grunted his way through the neighbourhood. but they would be out there, trying to get a look through the windows and crawling around on the roof, TV was off they had already broke the satellite, followers, God love 'em, maybe if he got a dog, no, it would have to be a heavenly dog and that might attract more. well at least he had time for a nice fat spliff, before he had to shit and shower and put on his media clothes, at least he didn't have to shave. what a weird thing to do he thought, were they all trying to look like women? maybe it was a way to capture youth, he would have to ask someone.
maybe he should hide the twelfth under a rock and hope some Christian in their search for his Father find it, but no, it was too important for that, he just had to come out an say it. but it was so short, one word, would they laugh, he hoped so.
that would help them to do it.
aaahhh he thought, thank you Father for the weed, good shit, now he could tell them.
he would walk right up to the mic and say RELAX, that should do it, they could wait a while for the next one.
of course he would have to answer questions, maybe if he told them the benefits, like, it allows you to accept more love, you can take more pain, how well he knew that one, how much relaxation was a part of a good health plan, how being relaxed in a car crash would save your life, he had a million of them.
stoned he headed for the bathroom to have a heavenly shit, relaxing sure helps that, he thought.
