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JOKE
Late one night a drunk guy is showing some friends around his brand new apartment. The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.
"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.
"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."
"How does it work?"
The guys picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.
Suddenly, someone on the otherside of the wall screams, "For God's sake, you as*hole...it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"
Doc "Hello, how can I help you"
Man "I've got an orange willy Doc"
Doc "What?"
Man "my willy has turned orange"
Doc "Umm i will have to look that up, ....it seems like it is a sign of stress...do you suffer from stress?"
Man "Not really"
Doc "What about stress at work?"
Man "Well I did have a nightmare job, a complete idiot for a boss, worked 80 hours a week for pennies then I got the sack"
Doc "That sounds very stressful"
Man "Yeah but my new job is great -half the hours, 3 times the salary and I really feel appreciated"
Doc "What about your home life?"
Man "Well my girlfriend is a complete cow, she nags non stop and puts me down every chance she gets"
Doc "That sounds very stressful"
Man "Yeah but I'm leaving her and I've never been happier"
Doc "Umm what about your social life?"
Man "Social life? I don' really have one"
Doc "Really? What do you do in your spare time?
Man "Eat Wotsits and watch porn"
LOL keep them coming
lol n1 guys