hide fake urine for supervised female drug test

I am a female who has to do a supervised probation drug test and I bought the quick fix synthetic urine. I am not worried about the temperature being a problem cause I know that I am capable of hiding it up there (if you know what I mean), but the problem that I am running into is this.....what do I hide it in up there, and how do I get it out with one hand, pretty much only a couple of fingers available into the cup without looking like I am fidgiting around to much or having it all come out in one big splash and not like taking a real pee. I tried putting it in a baggy, sandwich baggy which is very easy to tear with only finger, but if not careful will open to big hole at once and then it all comes gushing out.....tried it with a safety pin which worked very well, even stream and good sound, but CANT carry metal have to pass through metal detector first.....please can anyone shed some light on a way to conceal and manuever without being caught, or having big ass mess.....open to any and all suggestions, please only serious replys, don't need to be critisied. thank you "lookin4hlp" ohh, and thought about just using the bottle itself but one, to big to stuff up there, and two taping it puts the nozzle facing forward not down and that obviously won't work either,

What about using a toothpick to open it? Wooden or plastic it won't get detected at the scan. Just a thought other than that I can't think of anything other than maybe a condom but dont tie it just twist it off then rubber band it. With the rubber band though tape one end of it to the side of the condom with gorilla tape that way it doesn't fall into the toilet when off. MUST BE GORILLA TAPE... I know that sounds odd but trust me it will hold the best much better than duct tape. Best of luck.