New from the state of too much government

Ok here goes. Im from New York and in the town Im from they just passed new legislation requiring everyone in my work field to get a county permit inorder to keep my job. I was a regular pot smoker for a long time and part of the new rules you must pass a lab adimstered drug test. I stopped smoking for about 8 days and failed my test. Little did I know a few of my fellow co workers used the synthetic method and passed with no problem. I decided to resubmit my app and was informed that a competitor in my field turned a bunch of drivers in for using the synthetic and if I wanted to retake the test I would have to be "Directly Observed" so the synthetic was a waste of money. What it comes down to is I have to be able to naturally clean out asap. I googled passing a test and have spent alot of time reading what looks to me like a bunch of Monday Morning Quarterback solutions. Since I have been reading alot of methods on this site that make alot more sence I figured Id ask straight out, what is the best, quickest method to naturally clean out? I realize that only time will work but is there some stuff I can do to help?
I came to this site because of how serious you guys take false info. Ive read so many methods that I think my brain is going to turn to mush. I'm getting 3 hours sleep a night because my brain keeps trying to seek out a cheat method instead of facing the fact that its the legit way or no way.
I have been out of work for 3 weeks now and not being able to support my 2 children is really pissin me off and really making me physicly sick because now Im not sleeping at night because of all the stress of just trying to have a job. I should have been smart enough to ask questions before I took my first test and to outright quit after I took the first one.
I knew they were retesting guys who showed up diluted. Mine wasn't diluted or tampered with. I did an honest test and failed and now Im being lumped in with a bunch of idiots. A few of these idiots even tried the Golden Seal crap, witch everyone knows they test for now I'm on 3 days clean now and need to try to be able to pass within the next 2 weeks. Does Formula 420 work? Would exersize and a better diet help? The wizzinator and all the knockoffs of it seem to risky. The sad part is I only need to pass to get the permit. I was told by the issuing agency that they dont have a system in place to randomly test:wtf: Even sadder is the fact that this test isnt getting rid of the guys doing the harder stuff (crack,meth,coke) all it's doing is screwin with some pot smokers:(

I just realized I posted this in the wrong forum. Sorry about that, Im new here and wasnt payin attention :(

Diet and exercise will work a bit ... stay away from fatty foods ... eat lots of salads and veggies, stay away from meats for a little while ... fatty foods add fat to your body ,and the fat tissue holds onto THC longer, than lean tissue and muscle...

Exercise to your dripping with sweat ... several times before the test. ... this helps clean out what your fat tissue is holding

... and drink lots of alcohol ... the hard stuff ... THC isnt water soluble ... alcohol is

Good Luck

A drinker friend of mine said to start drinking..... I thought he was full of crap but that does kind of make sence the way you just put it. Kinda wierd going from one extreme to another but hell if it works.... Im not a drinker but in this case it might be worth a shot. Any recomendations on what to drink?

Since your not used to drinking much ... stay away from the colored liquors ... Southern Comfort, Spiced Rums etc ... they have heavy sugars that can dehydrate your body faster than clear liquors ...they make hangovers more severe ...

Id suggest clear liquor ...vodka or clear rum etc

Take 2-4 shots over a couple hours...dont eat for a little bit after to let it go throught the body undiluted