Natural Skwerly or how to catch and cook a skwerl

Natural Skwerly - by Pepurr

Furst u gots to katch tha lil bugger. Whut I do is take off all my close and greaze my body down with possum fat. Tha possum fat makes tha skwerl think you is a possum. Thay is buddies you know. It is little kwnon but they have jambories every sunday nite when god fearing fokes are at church. Whut were we tulken about? Oh yea!

Next you go out in tha woods and scamper around on all fours. Start digging in tha ground and getting them worms. Eat them up like you loves it. Them skwerls will thank you done went loco or that you is a possum. Skwerls dont take no mind to crazy people or possums though, so when they quit looking at you start getting closer to them. Move on in slowly. Then when they are in arms reach, grab one and bite off its head. Iffen you aint got no teeth, just snap its neck. All that possum fat will be pretty sticky by now so you can store your skwerls by sticken them to your back. After a gud day at kachen em, you shuld have 10 or 11 of em stuck to your back. Iffen you dont, then you better just stick to eaten worms. They tasty too.

When you get home, dont run to the hoze to walsh off. Theys advantages to leafing that fat on. Firstly it will keep tha skeeders offen ya. Secondly it will keep that loud mouth good fur nuthen nit picken sorry excuse for a wife offen yas. And yous don have to worry bout her tryen to get you skwerls.

I aint going to tell yous how to skin a skwerl. I think by now yous already no how. Iffen ya dont, you dont need ta be hunting them. Where did ya grow up? In tha city? Yo dadddy dint tech ya nuthing?

Any ways, Take out a skillet and scrape some of that possum fat offen yo body and throw it in. Chomp up yo skwerls with yo favorite nife. Iffen yo nife is dull use an axe. Also iffen yo nife is dull shame on you. Go out n tha yard and get some dandlion greens and bring them back n tha house. Cut up some cerrots and onyons and throw it all in yo skillet wit yo skwerl meet. Cook en up til thays all brownish looken.

11 or 12 skwerls should feed 15 fokes. But you is goen to eat them up yo self. Skrew them. Theys can get theys own skwerls.
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If you think you got a better way, and I doubt you do, post it here. :D