What the hell is a man to do ?

Firstly:

Weight: 264lbs

Height: 6'2

medium metabolism ( i eat ALOT of fatty foods and have been stuck at the same weight for 3 years so im guessing my metabolism keeps me from gaining )

Smoke for 9 years now. Off and on. The last 3 years ive been smoking about a gram a day sometimes 2.


I need some honest advice. Afeter reading through the forums here and at marijuana.com I have come to the conclusion that there is alot of mislead information out there. Ive spent aleast 15 hours glued to this computer in the last few days going through post after post and I just get a run around.

1 .Detox works well if you take it, drink lots of water, and take a vitamin B to get your piss nice and yellow again.
- Detox doesnt work because they will pick up the masking agents.
- Most are for people under 200lbs. Im over that by 64lbs. So where does that leave me ?

2. Synthetic Urine works wonders if you can get a donor. I can get my girlfriend but will that pick up gender, age, or pregnancy ?. Synthetic Urine works with the powder form because it retains a scent.
- Tubes, condoms, straws, bandages, heaters, thermometers sound like to many variables to me.

The only conclusion I can come to is try my luck with a detox kit. Or get my girlfriends piss. Freeze it, keep it on ice during my 12 hour travel than re freeze for a couple days until i ahve to do the test. Will that work ?

I have friends who passed using both the detox and substitue urine but everywhere on the interent is conflicting answers. So what shoud I do ? I need this job.

I just got news that you do a drug pre- employment and than they hit you with a random test so I need to get this out of my system as fast as possible. I read that exercise and healthy eating will speed up the process. But are there any stats or facts on the ratio of exercise to how fast it goes out of your system ?

I smoked a gram a day for 3 years strait. I am 16 days clean now. I was hoping to leave by may 31st but I can hang around till june 20th. I need to be clean. I was hoping to substitute or flush but now I heard that they hit you with a random test when you start work. I dont know if thats a day in, week in, or month in but i cant take the chance.

I have been eating extremely better the last week and trying to burn 500 calories everyday at the gym with a day or 2 missed here and there. Will this get it out much faster or am i doing alot of hard ass work for nothing ?

It'll take you 2 months to get clean. Subbing with synthetic or someone elses urine is a good option. I prefer synthetic because it doesn't go bad. If you put together a plan it works for randoms too.

Like what klind of plan would work for randoms ? Does someone tap me on the shoulder while im working and say ok heres a cup now go pee in it. Or do they say you ahve an appointment tomorrow or in a couple hours at such and such place ?

Usually they tell you to head to the lab for the test now. But remember no one pisses on command. So you just tell them you're going to get a cup of coffee to help you pee. Keep the bottle of synthetic in your pocket or coffee cup. Either add hot coffee to it or nuke it and just give it time to heat up. Practice with a plan that will work for your individual circumstances.

ui thinka dding coffee would put some discolouration to it. What about putting in the hot coffee so it warms the bottle up ?

Don't add anything to the urine. Keep it in the bottle and put the whole bottle in a large coffee cup. You'll have to experiment to see what works best for getting the heat right. Thats why using synthetic urine is nice because you can reheat it as many times as you want.