New from central NJ, need advice

Hi guys,

I'm 21 years old and in jersey, don't really like it here, but that's the least of my...stories. Anyway, I am trying to get some opinions on this....

Up until a few months ago (I believe it was largely from food allergies, but the doctor for awhile didn't really check for this) I had major heartburn problems that weren't solved by medicines at all, so I resorted to opiates (mostly poppy tea) to calm them. I never did it so much to become addicted, and I would say I'm still not addicted (at least not severely since I've stuck to the same low dose for about 7 months) but I am growing frustrated with it. I know several times I've taken it a few weeks in a row and gotten some mild withdrawals, but I had no problem leaving it and going back to my normal several times a week routine. I have many other chronic problems including asthma and tendonitis and am often under constant pain/irritation. On top of this I have a lot of buried severe emotional problems that completely knock all the energy out of me.

What scares me is not the prospect of going into hard drugs or whatever, but that nowadays I've realized that I am completely dysfunctional and my willpower is completely shot, and I need some kind of fix to get my life back in order. It already is in order, but I'd like to better it even more but I just can't get the motivation to do anything. Anyway, I've had an encounter with marijuana once before, but it was negative because I wayyyy overdid it and was completely out of this world stoned to the point of a near panic attack. But I know its not the same as moderate usage so I am open to using it again. I want to ditch opium even though its effective and I haven't had severe addiction problems because I know its a dangerous road to go down, especially if i start to get more messed up and the side effects can be nasty. My life has been stressful since I was a kid as long as I remember, with virtually no respite ever (except a bit now, I have a loving girlfriend but too much damage has been done). I just want to cop out and take the edge off while I repair all the damage and numb all the stuff from my chronic health problems which irritate me endlessly. So, do you think moderate marijuana use would do the job? I know that NJ mmj laws suck; I'm sure in another state I could get it for the tendonitis pain and stomach problems (which I still do have, just not for the same severity).

Also, what would you recommend as a means of getting it? I blew off most of my buddies in high school out of anger at shallowness and lack of empathy, and it's coming back to bite me in the ass. I'm a commuter student and don't know many people any more, and despite my best efforts asking around and talking to many people (I'm very social, I run my own business and a lot of stuff) they usually just flop on me and don't come through.

I just don't know what the hell to do, I'm an absolute wreck and I need a break from all this. I know I can get better; I'm already better than 6 months ago but I seem to be stuck and I need a push and to clear my head of a lot of this stress. Anyway, thanks for all your help.

First of all, get off the opium. That conflicts with asthma. Sadly one thing cannabis does do is cause mild gastritis (stomach inflammation).

Heartburn can be caused by many things. Have you tried the simple stuff like over the counter drugs like mylanta, tums, pepcid, etc? Do you eat regular meals...several small meals a day can help.

Have you seen a doctor about it? I advise you to now while you are young and do not cause your esophagus severe damage from reflux disease.

I also think you could use a little professional psychiatric help to get your pooh together and to assist you with moving forward. Drugs are not the answer to fixing your head, and, in fact, may actually make it harder to get your pooh together.

I am not trying to cut you down in any way. Lots of life experiences to build from for what I have said, some from my body, some from my children.........

yeah what the above poster said.

I don't have the heartburn much any more because I figured out what I was intolerant/allergic to to an extent, but I'm not crossing my fingers because it has come back before. I HAD tried everything under the sun and nothing worked, presumably because I kept eating things I was intolerant to. My stomach is still irritable but it is much better.

And trust me, this stuff is way beyond any kind of psychiatric help. I'm really the only one who can get myself together because the things just run so deep.

This kind of relates to what I've just gone through- I have a ton of health issues that have been persistent since I has 16 (fibromyalgia, IBS, anxiety/depression issues, migraines, and cysts embedded in my ovaries) It can be very very tough to work with, so hang in there.

As far as the heart-burn feeling; my stomach had been irritated since August, and I thought it was anything from GERD to Celiac disease. It ended up being massive gallstones, so I got my gallbladder removed yesterday. I'm definitely not saying it's what I have, but if it's not responding to medications, see your primary care physician to get a referral to a gastrointestinal specialist or something.

As far as the psychological issues, are you seeing a therapist for them? When I had major depression and anxiety issues, talking to a therapist was the most helpful thing, and within 4 months, I felt wonderful. It sucks that you're going through all of this.

Also, I know you're a newer member, but just be advised that talking about opiates or other drug use on the boards (with the obvious exception of weed) is highly frowned upon, and generally not tolerated.

Best of luck, though.

I had my gallbladder checked awhile ago, all came up negative. Like I said, I believe it was food allergies which were causing most of the problems (combined with IBS) but nobody until this new doctor pointed me in the new direction.

Therapists in my experience have mostly been useless as a means for actually solving my problems directly (though they can help indirectly), and I don't find talking to them too productive if its done too much (though I do have some people to talk to). I do see one now to try to work out some of the issues with my father, because I see them coming up later when I'm older. Long story short, he's still delusional about who I really am, and he listens to anyone 'professional' a lot more than me, so this is a good use for that.

Wasn't aware of the drug rule, will keep that in mind. Anyway yeah, I'd describe my issues as more unconventional...not your typical emotional issues though I did go through that too awhile ago. It's much more existential type depression combined with built up stress over many years which creates this weary. flattened feeling which I just cannot shake no matter what. I have tremendous business skills and I want to get out of Jersey, but I can't get the motivation to do hardly ANYTHING (even though I have my own good business).

That and, the asthma is really getting me down. The opium really doesn't severely mess it up since it is a relatively low dose, but it can irritate it if my breathing is already quite strained, so I have to watch for that. I hear that weed helps with that, brings creative inspiration, helps numb pain, brings a sense of well being, calms nausea a bit, etc. I need all those things, so if weed really does that, it'd be a life saver and just allow me to get my life together until I am in a better position because I feel so stuck now.

I had some really shitty asthma last night, and it was actually my birthday...so I was on a whole bunch of prednisone and oral steroids that made me feel like absolute shit. I just don't want to deal with that any more, and I am tired of going to a zillion doctors and taking so many pills....