Everyone loves a good joke, heard any good ones lately?:D
Printable View
Everyone loves a good joke, heard any good ones lately?:D
how do you confuse an irishman ? put him in a round room and tell him to piss in the corner:S2::S2::S2:
only joking my irish friend, sorry just couldn't resist a little friendly wind up:thumbsup:
What have chlamydia and a cheating husband got in common?
My wife has both and she doesn't know it yet
My grandfather always told me to marry an ugly woman, When I asked why, he said "if you marry a pretty one she will just run off on you". Well I said "an ugly woman can run off on you too.
"Yea" he says but "who gives a fuck"
:smokin:
rofl I like these :)
One day a guy walks into a bar, he sits down and orders 2 drinks. The bartender asks "Are you waiting for someone?" The guy replies "Nope, i'm just here by myself." So time passes by and the bartender looks over at the guy and he seems to be pouring a drink into his hand, the bartender doesn't think nothing of it. The guy orders 2 more drinks and pours 1 into his open hand again. Finally out of curiousity the bartender asks the guy "Why do you keep pouring your drinks in your hand?" The guy replies "Im just trying to get my date drunk"
A guy runs into a bar and asks the bartender for 10 shots of the strongest stuff he has. The guy slams all 10 shots in a row, boom, boom, boom.
The bartender has to ask, "so buddy are you celebrating something?, did your wife just leave you or what? Nope the man replies, "I just had my first blow job".
Well, says the bartender, then let me buy you one more shot on the house.
Na that's okay, says the man, if 10 didn't kill the taste 11 wont.
Peace :smokin:
paddy irishman, paddy scotsman an paddy englishman are lost in the middle of the desert when they come across a magic lamp, so they give it a rub and a geine pops out an tells them he'll give them each one wish but they cant wish themselves out of the desert.so they think for a minute and paddy irishman says "i wish for an endless bottle of water so i dont die of thirst", and with a puff of smoke he was holding an ice cold bottle of water, next paddy scotsman steps up an says "i wish for a bottomless bag of food so i dont die of hunger" an with a puff of smoke the genie made a bottomless bag of food appear in front of him. lastly paddy englishman speaks up an says "i wish for a car door" an with a puff of smoke the car door appeared in front of him an the genie disappeared. so the 3 of them walked on, 2 with very puzzeled looks on there faces until they stopped to rest.when they stopped paddy irishman and paddy scotsman looked at each other and decided to ask "why on earth did you wish for a car door?". paddy englishman looked at them with a smug grin on his face an said" you two might have the food and water but when it gets hot you two will roast an all i'll have to do is roll down the car window".:S5:
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00
When the Postal authorities received the letter to God , USA , they decided to send it to the President.
The President was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.
The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you Note to God, which read:
Dear God:
Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington DC., and those assholes deducted $95.00 in taxes.