Sharing my experience

Hello everybody,

I am so thrilled to have discovered this amazing resource! Following a brief stint as a passive bystander I am ready to jump in and share a bit of my story. Hopefully partaking in some kind of meaningful exchange with others who are a part of NM MMJ community. I am currently in the process of trying to obtain my MMJ card and would appreciate hearing about some of your experiences as they relate (or not) to depression and how MJ can be an integral part of the healing process.

Without further aduâ?¦ here is how I came to honor and cherish the extraordinary power of cannabis.

When I was 5 years old I suffered from a barrage of petit seizures, and one grand mal. Doctors discovered that I had an â??abnormal spikeâ?� in my EEG test, a symptom of epilepsy, and I was placed on a heavy dose of Phenobarbital, which I committed to for 3 years. To the drugs credit, I have not had a seizure in 32 years even though the â??spikeâ?� still exists.

In my mid-twenties I was diagnosed with manic depressive/bi-polar disorder and anxiety. A really fun concoction of disorders that nearly drove me off a cliff. Predictably (and at the time, thankfully), I was prescribed Gabapentin and Lamotrigine to address these problems. They did the jobâ?¦ at lease for a while. As many of you already know, â??pharmiesâ?� only serve to mask the problem. Depression is not something you can fully heal from with drugs and plants alone. In my case a major change in lifestyle was just what the doctor didnâ??t orderâ?¦. but I did!

I gave up many vices that I relied on as a crutch to help self medicate my problems away. Cigarettes, alcohol, drugsâ?¦. I bid them all farewell. But these lifestyle changes only brought me half way to achieving my goals of feeling calm, balanced, energized and just happy.

One major part of the puzzle was to combine 2 of my most beloved pastimes, MJ and Mother Nature. I was (and still am!) hiking, mt biking, backcountry skiing, and snow shoeing 5-6 days a week. One reason I love having the Sangreâ??s as my playground.. If I have trail underfoot and glass one-ee in hand, all is good. But sharing this revelation was reserved only for those who got it. Many of those who did smoke MJ just didnâ??t understand how MJ could serve me in this wayâ?¦ but it did.

I was still trapped in the mindset that MJ couldnâ??t possibly help battle depression, that I was somehow just getting high for the sake of getting high to cover up. But the transformative experiences I have while in nature are so deeply spiritual and real, that I return a changed man, at peace with the world, and touched by god.

I would love to hear from anyone who has had similar experiences. In addition to MJ, I have LOTS of insight into alternative ways to battle depression. I would be happy to share my experiences in more detail with anyone who might benefit from them.

Thanks for reading. I look forward to hearing from you.

That's a good narative.Thank you for sharing that.

I bet we have shared a trail in the Sangres and didnt even know it. Your story sounds similar to mine, and our interests are much the same.

When I read your story my mind flashed to the spot on Skyline trail just past Pecos baldy lake...you turn and go straight down to Beatty's cabin. Know the spot? When I read the word "Sangres" that's where my mind was for some reason.

Hell of a picture painted. I feel ya man. Bi-polar disorder runs in my family and ended up pretty much killing my mother and grandfather. Both were severely afflicted and ended up subduing to other illnesses, but both were completely different people once they got their meds " right. " My grandfather ended up going off the deep end because of his extreme manic side, and my mom turned into a zombie who eventually gave up . I was diagnosed bi-polar when I was 19 and have been using cannabis regularly since. In the 6 years since I was diagnosed, I took everything from Ativan, resperidol, klonepan, wellbutrin, paxil, prozac.....you name it, and NOTHING made me feel normal like the sweet leaf did. It slows my mind down so that I can actually process things instead of thinking a mile a minute and driving myself to a panic attack. It helps my appetite when I get depressed and dont feel like eating. It helps my nausea and pain........Marijuana saved my life

Welcome. Your story as stated is all too familiar. My hideaway was above Boulder,CO along the divide. A 1/4 of Northern Lights, the wild and I. Man what peace I had there and then. I have been back but nothing was beautiful as it had been before.

Masking symptoms is BS. It's just an excuse for a doc to tell you no. Name one pharm that isn't a band aid. They may be PRN or therapeutic but they don't last as the liars will tell you,sure you know. Cannabis is truly a therapeutic. I don't smoke right now because I haven't obtained the legal right to do so. No matter the strain I would have paranoia for maybe the first week and then nothing but peace in my mind. Good luck to you and KNOW you aren't alone.

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Originally Posted by bedrockbob

I bet we have shared a trail in the Sangres and didnt even know it. Your story sounds similar to mine, and our interests are much the same.

When I read your story my mind flashed to the spot on Skyline trail just past Pecos baldy lake...you turn and go straight down to Beatty's cabin. Know the spot? When I read the word "Sangres" that's where my mind was for some reason.

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With all the hiking we're done it seems likely our paths have crossed.

Have not been to that side yet though. Hamilton Mesa, Truches, SF Baldy, Penitente, deception, south fork, Jicarita, to name a few in the SF wilderness. I do lots of skinning up and around the aspen groves at B-T trailhead. Trekking around in these conditions is a real blast!

I will try and drop you a line in the near future. I would love to hear about your ideas for MMJ NPs.

[quote=firestartersydd]Hell of a picture painted. I feel ya man. Bi-polar disorder runs in my family and ended up pretty much killing my mother and grandfather. Both were severely afflicted and ended up subduing to other illnesses, but both were completely different people once they got their meds " right. " My grandfather ended up going off the deep end because of his extreme manic side, and my mom turned into a zombie who eventually gave up . ]

Thanks for sharing that. I too have a family history filled with manic depressive disorder. You work with what you got I guess. I wish you all the best!

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Originally Posted by firestartersydd

Hell of a picture painted. I feel ya man. Bi-polar disorder runs in my family and ended up pretty much killing my mother and grandfather. Both were severely afflicted and ended up subduing to other illnesses, but both were completely different people once they got their meds " right. " My grandfather ended up going off the deep end because of his extreme manic side, and my mom turned into a zombie who eventually gave up . I was diagnosed bi-polar when I was 19 and have been using cannabis regularly since. In the 6 years since I was diagnosed, I took everything from Ativan, resperidol, klonepan, wellbutrin, paxil, prozac.....you name it, and NOTHING made me feel normal like the sweet leaf did. It slows my mind down so that I can actually process things instead of thinking a mile a minute and driving myself to a panic attack. It helps my appetite when I get depressed and dont feel like eating. It helps my nausea and pain........Marijuana saved my life

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Why won't these assholes realize that it REALLY does save lives??? I hope it saves mine. I've taken 16 pharms since I was 20,that I can remember. The only ones that have kept me alive are Luvox and Xanax. Your story is so sad not only for the obvious but because none of these pharms provide long term relief. If you run out of Mary you may get aggressive but it won't kill you or land you in the ER. Str8 jackets in the ER. You can't even be honest w/ these people, answer yes to one of these 2 questions and bam no matter how calm you are, instantly you are held and humiliated.

Yes