Don't Fly with Vaporizers

Donâ??t Fly with the Volcano
By: T.A. Sedlak (Author of Anarcho Grow)

A few days after Christmas, I had to head to New York from Madison, WI to visit my girlfriendâ??s family. I recently had a sinus infection, so the Volcano was essential. Iâ??m one of those stoners whoâ??s virtually made a total switch from smoking to vaporizing, anyway. Hell, thereâ??s a Volcano hidden on the cover of my book, Anarcho Grow.

Iâ??m no dummy, either. I soaked the machineâ??s pieces in alcohol before leaving, the press and bag attachments. All spotless. As I waited for my bag to pass through the conveyor belt along with my jacket and shoes, I had no fear. However, I wasnâ??t surprised when a TSA worker said, â??Letâ??s send it through again. Get another picture.â?�

Theyâ??ll take it out. Iâ??ll explain that itâ??s an herb vaporizer and be on my way, I thought.

Wrong. They knew what it was, or had an idea, and searched my bag thoroughly for pot, hoping they could bring a charge. The process was taking long enough that I took a seat nearby. Twenty minutes passed before the TSA worker approached and told me the sheriff had been called. He said something quickly about paraphernalia. Something else I couldnâ??t make out.

â??What?â?� I asked.

Again, he spoke quickly.

â??What?â?�

â??Nitro glycerin. It tested positive for it.â?�

â??Youâ??re joking?â?� I said.

â??I never joke about my job,â?� he said sternly.

I waited uneasily for another twenty minutes before the sheriff arrived. The TSA employee allowed me to pack the rest of the things in my bag while the Volcano and its accoutrements were set aside. Eventually, a short chubby man wearing a crew cut and mustache over oily skin showed. He looked plucked from a stock comedy flick.

â??Whatâ??s this machine?â?� he asked.

â??A vaporizer.â?�

â??What do you use with it?â?�

â??Herbs, chamomile, echinaceaâ?¦â?�

â??What?â?� he said.

â??Chamomile and Echinacea.â?�

â??Tea?â?�

â??The herbs can be used for tea, yes.â?�

He opened my grinder and inspected it. â??Pretty clean,â?� he said. He looked at me. â??You got some I.D.â?�

I handed him my license.

â??You can take a seat over there,â?� he said, pointing to the chair Iâ??d come to know.

I glanced at the clock. My plane was to board in eighteen minutes.
Fifteen minutes passed before he returned. He first spoke with a TSA agent. I heard the words â??no priors,â?� and wondered if theyâ??d illegally steal my machine.

The cop approached with the Volcano, its attachments, and my I.D. in a gray plastic bin. â??Here,â?� he said.

â??Iâ??m free to go?â?�

â??Yeah, where are you going?â?� he said.

â??New York.â?�

â??Visiting friends there?â?�

â??Something like that.â?�

Iâ??d been harassed by rogues who could legally do nothing. One man had even made a false claim that my luggage tested positive for explosives. All to try to bring a pot charge on me. Though itâ??s within oneâ??s rights to travel with a clean Volcano, you may want to forgo it to avoid the hassle. TSA employees are after pot heads just as much terrorists. Maybe even more so.


*If you like this story, please let me know. I'll be traveling a lot this year to promote my debut novel, Anarcho Grow, and I'm thinking of starting a blog for writing more stories like this. Read the first chapter of Anarcho Grow at T.A.Sedlak Homepage

Absolutely ridiculous. Kinda makes me wonder how I got my bong through customs coming from Germany when I was underage. It was an 18" glass on glass, so nobody would be fooled. However, I went through security multiple times in the US and Europe and I think I got pretty lucky.
When I was at the customs desk in Boston, I felt like George Jung trying to smuggle keys of coke. I put my bags on the desk and he asked me if I had anything to declare. I told him no, and he said I was free to go. I was completely shocked it was that easy so I hesitated and blurted out, "that's it?" He just kinda laughed and said yeah and I walked on through the doors in the the United States. I did have a bit of a celebration fit however as soon as I walked through the doors.:D

Yeah, its a crying shame the shoe bomber has caused us to remove our shoes when flying too. That's where I used to put my 1/4 oz before flying.

Last time I did it, I passed two European Security Checks. And I had my cat with me who also was given an X Ray. Had my Swiss Army key chain knife too. No problem. This was all before the so called War on Terror. I hope it doesn't last as long as the War on Drugs. Pretty bad when you can't trust fucking people and fly on a plane without worrying about some one blowing you and yours up.

We need to wipe the would be and present so called terrorists from the face of the earth. It ain't religion, its all a made up premise by greedy fucking men. Like in the Old West when whites dressed as Indians to do some evil bs. :D

Every single time we fly to the Dam I bring back an Oz. of Hash.....everytime. Walk past drug dogs, through scanners, it dont matter. TSA are clowns......the last few terror attempts were perpatrated by idiot children who had no clue what they were doing. Had Al Queda had more chance for operational planning and preparation, they woulda had more time to recruit better, more gullable idiots to carry out the missions the leadership is to chickenshit to do themselves....bunch of child molesters & predators.

Is it just me or was the shoe bomber the ugliest man alive?? No wonder he wanted to kill himself, I would to if I looked like that. Atleast he wont have to worry about booty bandits in the Fed.

First thing you should have said was its my volcano vapororizer for tabacco...that is what the Volcano was originally designed and used for..... the vaporization of tabacco reducing carsonages and tars...Not ummmm herbs

you have to state the proper shit....If it was a bong or pipe ya your fucked but the volcano has mutilpul legal uses

screw those TSA bastards! fighting herbal vaporizorists instead of keeping us safe! and of course, as mr. show knows, treasures are well kept in toothpaste tubs, wink.

Thanks for the replies, peeps.

Here's an update:

In returning home I decided to remove the Volcano from my bag and place it and its accoutrements in their own tray, like people have to do with laptops. That way the TSA workers at least wouldn't search through my whole bag. Besides them dropping it on the floor, there were no problems. They just tested it for explosives (took less than a minute) and had me on my way. Thank you La Guardia TSA crew.

Bringing legal paraphernalia is a good exercise of freedoms but can be one hell of hassle.