looking for some feed back

Hey all im looking for some feed back and constructive criticism on a paper I wrote for school concerning the legalization of cannabis. Keep in mind this is just a rough draft. Hope yall can help. happy toking:jointsmile:


Its Time Legalize

For many years the United States government has used prohibition and criminal penalty in an attempt to eliminate cannabis use from our society. Prohibition as we know from our past and present does not work. Now, more than ever, propositions to legalize cannabis have increased. With benefits that greatly out weigh the negative effects, legalization of cannabis should undoubtedly take place in the United States.

When I say cannabis should be legal I do not mean everything currently illegal concerning cannabis will simply be reclassified as legal. How I would define legalization would be simply to impose upon cannabis the same laws and controls that are currently enforced upon alcohol. Cannabis should be used responsibly by adults only, and when legalized and regulated would have many great benefits to the United States.

For many years cannabis has been used for its medicinal values. Currently thirteen states have approved medical marijuana use in the United States. Scientific studies indicate that cannabis provides symptomatic relief for a number of medical conditions, including but not limiting to nausea and vomiting, stimulating appetite, promoting weight gain, and diminishing intraocular pressure from glaucoma. There is also evidence that cannabis decreases muscle spasticity from spinal cord injuries and multiple sclerosis. In addition it reduces tremors in multiple sclerosis patients. Currently, more than sixty United States and international health organizations including the American Public Health Association, Health Canada and the Federation of American Scientists support granting patientâ??s instant legal access to medicinal cannabis under a physician's supervision. Doctors report that when cannabis is vaporized little or none of the carcinogenic tars and noxious gases found in smoke are emitted, thus allowing the patient a safe consumption of their medicine. Current prohibition produces complications for patients to get the medicine they need, along with legal problems. It also creates a huge unwanted black-market in America. The denial of medicinal cannabis to the many patients who could benefit from its therapeutic use is illogical.

One of the biggest improvements to the United States upon legalization would be the removal of a black-market for cannabis. Currently ruthless drug cartels operate the production, importation, and selling of cannabis in large quantities to our country. These cartels take advantage of the demand for cannabis in the United States, making billions of dollars every year while using a lot of that income to corrupt law enforcement and government officials. As the cartels grow stronger they continue to suck much needed money away from our government. Last year alone they murdered more then five thousand people in order to protect their drug routes into the United States. The cartels will stop at nothing to protect their drug revenues, but the one thing they can't fight is legalization. Legalization would diminish this underground market for cannabis and allow many opportunities for our government to control and regulate its sale. The United States economy would be affected in many positive ways.

The regulation of cannabis would form many new jobs, and stimulate enormous amounts of revenue for our economy. Not only would billions be saved by government expenditure on enforcement of prohibition but also by allowing the government to regulate and tax its sale would produce billions of dollars that would go back into the American economy. Many jobs such as legal growers and distributers would emerge. When grown by the government cannabis can also be assured to be free of chemicals and pesticides that current growers sometimes use. When regulated like cigarettes and alcohol, cannabis would become less available to children whom are underage. This in return would also keep children away from harder drugs. The United States would also be able to take advantage of hemp as an important profitable cash crop. When regulated by our government cannabis has many benefits.

Hemp is a very valuable product of the cannabis plant. Its uses include food, clothing, paint, and building materials but most importantly fuel. The development of industrial hemp as a bio-fuel source would be extremely important to the United States future. Hemp uses the stalks as a fuel source which will not increase the demand or prices for food, such as corn which is a current bio fuel option. Legalization of cannabis will greatly simplify the regulatory trouble of future hemp cultivation in our country which would also be extremely profitable and beneficial to the United States.

The United States government has chosen prohibition for many years and clearly has not learned from its past experience. It is time to put an end to this. The current economic situation in our country is amongst the lowest it has ever been before. Now more then ever we are in need of a dramatic change. Cannabis should be made legal in the United States because it will bring a great deal of positive effects to our nation for all to prosper from.

A few thoughts come to mind. First, you need to clarify your thesis statement. Second, most students after middle school learn NOT to use "I" when writing papers. Third, you cite no sources/facts/anything. If it's an opinion paper, that's fine. But it almost looks like it's a paper for 7th grade, in which case you probably are not old enough to be registered. :)

I get the gist of the paper, and I like the ideas in it. But without specifics on what the paper is for, stipulations, etc., can't give you much help.

One final thought (it's been awhile since I wrote or graded a paper)...when arguing a point, it can hold much more value when you can also identify the arguments against you, and refute them with evidence.

Its an argumentation paper for a highschool class. I have a works cited, sorry I didnt include it. Identifying the arguments against legalizing will definitely make my argument stronger. Thanks for the insight much appreciated