Community garden Etiquette question.

So, w/ friends of 8-9 years,they shared their land for a community garden this year. Our county says 6 plants only so the original deal was, of my 6 (J-27's), we would have four and give them two for use of their land. :) We ended up only giving them four intially, however within the first two weeks three had died of ours :mad: and three of their own crop (they planted 11) as well due to we think lack of water. We ended up bringing our other 2 over as they were going big and strong. so now we had 1 weak 2 strong plants. We then spent a lot of money on four more clones that were more developed (Blue Cheese, Mazaar, Lavender, Purple Kush) and put them in pots in the garden. The Mazaar also died, :wtf: it rotted? That leaves us three J-27 and three 'premium' plants. They had other loses and ended up with 5, never replacing their losses. We provided the nutrients and the organic bug spray and have helped to take care of the garden over the last 4 months.

Today, our three in pots are small (less than 3 feet) but quite well budded. :jointsmile: The two strong J-27 are now 6 ft tall and about 4 wide :D and the weak one about half the size. They have 4 that are good size (4-5 ft high 2-3 wide) and one that is smaller. (They also have a dozen growing somewhere else)

Yesterday they asked us which 2 plants of ours are they getting and we were taken aback. She has been telling us we have months of supply while fully intending to take most of that supply. The yield from the small plants might be three to four ounces total. The two big ones must have 20 ounces on each one at least (thats a wild ass guess) and half on the smaller.

We never talked about including the small ones in the deal, indeed we have been telling them that we will just sort them out on whatever we get. Now they propose taking 2/3 of our harvest. :( We have never grown before, they have. We are i guess upset and wondering if people think this is fair. our contention would be that we would be happy to give them one of the plants but two is 2 much. The original idea was 6 big plants, if that had happened, no problem for sure. We only have three real volume plants so why take two? especially when we can look at the volume they have sitting on their end of the garden.
We feel though, that they have us over a barrell as they can just lock us out if they choose.
Are we beng fair by saying one now instead of two after we had so much loss (4 out of 10) and we are the one who paid for all the 'stuff' needed, and we would have precious little left if we give up two plants. We also wonder how this is going to affect our friendship. We have been sharing all kinds of goodies with her, we have always been generous and we sort of feel like we are now being taken advantage of.
Please let us know what you all think.

Pictures are the three in pots PK, Lav, BC and the J-27s nice and big
Have a great day