a very bad day

some of you may remember me (blizz) throughout the years of random posting mostly in the lounge. i had a really bad day monday and needed to just get it out..
so basically i was at my po;s office, i had used opiates the mounring before my visit and hes asknig me random questions if i used drugs or alcohole. i responded no, everythings good * thinking in my head get me the fuck outa here*, at the last minute before im about to head outh es like i think im going to ua you if you have time today. im like... sure :mad: why not?!. so i piss and like instantly i fail for opiates which is why im on probation for a year..in the meantime my girlfreind that im absolutly in love with and going to marry in a couple years is waiting in my car and hes like have you taken anything you werent supppose to or something that woul give a positive for opiotes. i was like uhh.. ibprofen? then i said i had perscription cough syrup th at i took for a cough a couple nigh ts ago that contained codiene at a last ditch effort to make up some fucking bs.
and basically we go back into his office, i text my girlfreind and tell her i failed for opiotes. shes freaking out* we are very in love, we both want to spend the rest of our lives togeather, we absolutly adore and need eachother ino ur lives, she needs me there to support her*.so hes like well you weretn suppos eto be drinking your sister cough syrup its not yours.then blah blah hes like im going to have to take you into custody because tahts illegal. he tells me to go wait in the lobby so he can talk to his supervisor . Im shocked now, if i get revoked i gotta serve 6 months downtown ghetto jail...im preparing mentally for this and i call my girlfreind to try and tell her the news she could not possibly bear...:(. at this point my eyes are tearing up thinking that i may never see the love of my life again..
so many things rushing threw my head like flashbacks at this point. Shes crying so bad she cant even talk and hyperventalating on the telephone. im crying now and im not a cryer ever. Asking her if shes gnna wait for me and telling her how much i love her and how im wanna spend th rest of my life with her. shes telling me how much she needs me and to not have me in her life would devistate her.were both telling eachother how much we love eachother and hopefully everythign will be ok :(/ then my po come sin and hes like, ok i know this is bull shit tell me the real story you might get a one and lucky chance. i tell him my freind gave me a capsal filled with oxy and heroin or something and that i wasnt sure wah t all opiotes were in it. the shitest part if i have to do a adoa assesment and they told me they werent gonna make me do treatment.
i was meeting my po once every 2 months now im meeting time weekly to ua...and i gotta do a outpatient that idk if my insurance will evem cover. so finally he lets me leave the whole car ride on our way out to ea t im holding my girlfreind crying feeling like im living on borrowed time..im warning everyone dont put yourself threw that feeling its not worth it. thanks for reading

-Blizz

dude uh, first off if your on probation for doing drugs, why would you keep doing them? thats stupid, you can't go a year without doing drugs? this thread is going to get closed/deleted anyway but dude you kind of screwed yourself, so i can't give you much sympathy.

Word, this will be closed soon. I just had to throw in how amazingly dumb you are for trying to pull that shit. You got some real problems if you can't stop taking those drugs, get your life together and do treatment. Don't be a retard.