look for advice

So basically I've been havin a hard time dealin with my mom on my case about me smoking pot. My dad's real chill with it as he was on the verge of loosing everything due to hard drugs, he almost promotes it. (don't live with him though) My mom lets me smoke cigarettes but doesn't encourage it obviously and knows that I won't stop smoking pot anytime soon, because thats what I told her. I don't know if she connects it with shit like meth or what. I got busted like 4 months ago with a little bit of bud sitting on my corner minding my own smoking a hand rolled cig which I guess gave the self-righteous cop the right to search me (probable cause?) Maybe thats what set my mom off. I'm extremely low-key when it comes to the police, I am almost always smoking in a house, I just messed up by lookin too high or shady sittin outside my own house I guess. I mean I'm not a bad kid in my opinion, this is about the only thing I fight with my mom with. Weed, music, and my girlfriend are my 3 releases, and they make me a happier, more relaxed person, I'm trying to get my mom to understand that. Can anyone offer some advice on what I should tell her to convince her that weed is not killing me or making me a dead-beat degenerate?

Personally I don't think teenagers should be smoking weed, same as drinking and smoking. I think that you need to figure your shit out when you are a kid or you are going to carry on for many years wondering why life isn't better. You're using cigarettes and weed to fill a void that is hungry for something else.

However I did all three as a teen and am now 21. So I do understand where you are coming from. However I did move out and buy my first house at 15 while working, and finished highschool with honors, married, and 8 months pregnant at 19 right on time.

You see it doesn't matter much what I say because it all requires "changing" and "doing something", and we all know what you are asking us for is impossible because you want a way to keep doing what you are doing and change another persons opinion of you. Which is quite lazy if you ask me.

I think your mom could probably quite easily be ok with you smoking weed. If you kept your grades up, act respectful and try to connect with your family, clean up after yourself and start taking responsibility as a member of the family and household instead of just for yourself, I'm sure your mom would allow you to justify your release since you have worked very hard, not just for yourself but for the people around you too. And the great thing about it is that people than want to help you out when you need it, and want to see you happy. Not to mention it's really not alot when you look at it and just do. It's the fuss about doing it that takes forever. It reallly is a huge pay off for such little things if you keep it consistant.

Here's a question. As shitty as your mom may be(she may be great, hey I don't know) when's the last time you've openly approached her and asked to spend some time doing something with her that you both would equally enjoy/ hate? No matter how bad a mom is when her kid comes to her like that without hostility or judgement, just looking to have a good time for a little bit, she'll make time, and if she can't she will love you so much for the offer. Parents aren't looking for time with their kids, that's not the most important thing. It's the connection to their kids they crave so badly that sometimes they do the total wrong things to reach their goals, and a family just gets thrown off track.


Quick fix

Find an alternate release weed, music, and your girlfriend have nothing to do with you. They are all outside sources. Find a release that is all about you and what you like to do and a direction you want to look around in. Actively ask yourself what makes you "little kid again" happy and try to figure out how you can bring more of that in your life. Your parent will definately notice the change, and you'll learn alot about yourself and find weed become a recreation instead of a crutch.

Chrissy, the guy is older than you are, lol.

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Originally Posted by Breukelen advocaat

Chrissy, the guy is older than you are, lol.

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He sounds like he's 15 still living at home. Guess you missed your window dude, have fun trying to figure it all out now, lol. It's time to grow up and if your parents have a problem with it and you think it's fine then it shouldn't matter what they think and they should accept you for it, except when you live in their house, in which case they deserve enough respect to keep them and the people in the house safe by not using illegal drugs. If you don't like it get your whole family to move to Canada where you won't go to jail for a few joints:thumbsup: or move out and be a criminal on your own, lol.

eta he's not older than I am he's a kid man!