Anxiety, Self-Doubt, and Perfectionism

Question is not necessarily cannabis-related, but here goes.

I am very anxious about what other people think of me and I'm very competitive, want to perform well, etc. I think this is called "Perfectionism" by a lot of psychologists.

Sober, it makes me really high strung.
High, it really kills my buzz!

So in both cases... what are some things to help me reframe my attitude and get rid of my perfectionism??

It's a little different than anxiety. It's like a really specific anxiety related to what other people think or about how I compare to others.

Have you ever stopped to think about why does you are this way? What do you expect from people, why does you want so badly to seem good in their eyes? Why cant you ignore what people thinks about you? What do you want to prove to them? Why cant you be ok by yourself, why do you need other people approval? I think if you find a good answer to this questions, half of your problem will be solved. :thumbsup:
Anyway, finding answers wont be very easy... so good luck! :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Coelho

Have you ever stopped to think about why does you are this way? What do you expect from people, why does you want so badly to seem good in their eyes? Why cant you ignore what people thinks about you? What do you want to prove to them? Why cant you be ok by yourself, why do you need other people approval? I think if you find a good answer to this questions, half of your problem will be solved. :thumbsup:
Anyway, finding answers wont be very easy... so good luck! :)

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This is very good advice. live your life like you want to live it, not how other people want you to.

I kind of had the same thing. A was trying to get ahead so bad that I didn't enjoy life.

Instead of writing an essay for you, I'll post a vid. Smoke up and watch it a couple times, I think it'll help you.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvKbGQRrWCM[/YOUTUBE]

Here's the link so you can watch it fullscreen. :D

YouTube - Dj Tiesto - Just Be

Good advice everyone - & thanks for the link!

I will be doing some introspection on this topic. Keep the suggestions coming if anybody has any others - I really appreciate your time & value your input.

When I'm sober I'd say I'm very self concious and I get very worried about what people think of me. I think this is much like your "Perfectionism", so you're not the only one. When I'm high though, I tend to relax more, and I tend to be more comfortable with the situation. But, sometimes I don't relax and it leads to a not so good high.

I think Coelho asked some very good questions. Get those answered and it will help solve your problem tremedously.

Keep us posted on how it goes!

I can relate with the specific anxiety...

perfectionism.. w/e you want to call it.
Asking questions is a critical step in becoming more and more comfortable with yourself. Also try just going outside and do WHAT YOU WANT. Try letting your mind debate on its own, just kind of sit back and let it go. Let all your thoughts positive and negative combine and just watch yourself naturally figure them out...

Also another thing.. try to think about the specific things that your afraid of happening.. in those specific situations. Also just pointing out the good things bout yourself and your talents is good.. like to yourself.

but in reality... Its just about balance.. if you can truthfully point out your weakness's but also truthfully point out your strengths your pretty much set..


Yah sorry if that was long or w/e.. Hope it helps..

good luck on da journey bro, jus message me if you ever jus wana talk or w.e

Heyy.i was actually in the same boat as you man.i used to get prtty bad anxiety lots of the time and i would always worry about wht others were thinking about me.

So i started taking sum anxiety medication for it and i blow sum kill 3-4 times a week.But i think the main thing that helped me was jus learning to accept you for you and not always worrying wht otheres think of you.If you feel like you r constanlty trying to impress ppl youll never just act yourself and theyll never see your true colors.

Basically, just do you bro!:thumbsup:
(Sorry for this being long and what not)

"if you can truthfully point out your weakness's but also truthfully point out your strengths your pretty much set.. "

Hey I thought that was really interesting advice.

I tend to be defensive if others criticize me or really elated if they praise me. I am thinking, after reading your comment, that if I could be more honest with myself about strengths/weaknesses and accept the weaknesses better (and more constructively), I probably wouldn't rely so much on others' opinions for self-esteem.

You guys are so supportive! I love that this place exists. :smokin: