Darn This Concience of Mine!

I need ya'lls help!!! I trust you guy's opinions. Most of us here have common sense, and I need to make up my mind quickly.
I've talked on here before about what I do. Just in case, I am a live- in elderly woman caretaker. The woman I am currently caring for is 98, will be 99 in april. I've been working here for over a year. Because of the obvious, these jobs dont last long, and this has been the longest so far. She is attached to me, doesnt like for me to go home even though Im here 5 days a week, and has run off about 5 other people since I've been here. I mean we argue and fight, but shes the type of person who is happy being miserable. She likes to be left alone, and peace and quiet, which is perfect for me. I do whatever I have to do, and leave her alone. Sure when Im in the same room and not arguing about what she needs to do, we talk and laugh.. Anyway, she is getting to the point where she is losing her mind alot more. Just last night I went in to check on her, and i kept finding her at the bottom of the bed, feet hanging off, covers thrown saying she had to go. I tell her, half asleep that she has nowhere to go, nothing to do, and she gets mad. She yells, I yell, put her back in bed and basically surrounded her bed so there was no way she could get out. This morning she was pissed saying she couldnt get out of bed, and I had a mess around her bed. Right now, shes sitting in her room talking and laughing to herself.
Here is my problem, she is nearing that level where she will pass in her sleep, or go in the hospital. now, I told her daughter that I am sorry, but i need to look for another job since it is so close to her passing, and I cant afford to be jobless. Because I cant work legally, it takes me a hell of alot of time to find a job. She offered to pay me two weeks wages after she passes, goes into the hospital, or has to be put in a home. While that is a nice gesture, like my sister said, it will cover a months rent, and maybe my phone bill. I dont want to leave her since she is so comfortable with me and I can get her to do stuff she wont for others, but like I said, I cant aford to be jobless. We just moved into our house, and Ill be damned if have to go back to my mothers house. I will live under a bridge with my dogs before I do that. I cant help but feel like I'm abandoning her, but you gotta look out for numbers one through six first right?
*numbers 1 thru 6 are Venus, Powder, Bebe, Banky, my sister and me, in that order*
Help me!! tell me what I should do?!?!

Get a new job.
If she is that close to the end, your leaving will precipitate her going to hospital, relieving her and her family from the agonizing decision of 'is it time?'.

If you are not caring for her as a 40-hour a week job, I'd suggest finding a new job right away that is caring for someone who does not yet need intensive monitoring like your current client, so that you may gently transition from one to the other. The new client will in time need closer attention.
Follow your conscience if you can- your deeds show your character.

If it were me I'd probably stay. She seems to really like you and thik about it like this - if you were dying wouldn't you want to go out with people you like or would you rather do it alone with the people you've grown to love abandoning you.That'd be a miserable way to die. It's definetly going to be tough, but those two weeks pay will help. Also, this is probably something you should have seriously considered as a possibility when choosing you career path. I believe the right thing to do would be stay as long as she needs you to.

Well, if the alternative is to be jobless then take pride in a job well done and move on. Unless, the family compensates you for staying until you find another job. Which is what I would convince the family to do. I mean, it's only fair. and I would make it easier for the family by looking for a job when the lady starts to pass.

good luck hilder... i hope everything turns out okay.

That is why I work with an agency. The money is a little less than if you free lance, but I do have job security. If a client passes away or goes into the hospital they put me with another client. Because quite frankly, we are making these people as happy and comfortable as possible until the inevitable happens.
Good luck to you Hilder. You're good people!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by gocryemokid

If it were me I'd probably stay. She seems to really like you and thik about it like this - if you were dying wouldn't you want to go out with people you like or would you rather do it alone with the people you've grown to love abandoning you.That'd be a miserable way to die. It's definetly going to be tough, but those two weeks pay will help. Also, this is probably something you should have seriously considered as a possibility when choosing you career path. I believe the right thing to do would be stay as long as she needs you to.

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I agree completly... i think you should stay with her as long she needs you... remember, possibly you are her last friend in her entire life... i think it IS something... money is important, i know. But im sure there is things that are more important than it.
And when she pass away, remember your time will come too... so be glad that you are still alive, and enjoy your life. Cause soon it ends, for all of us.

hey hilder
you are like a tool in the hand of god
let yourself be used for good
good things will come your way
like they say
"store your riches in heaven"

Oh, damn it all to hell!! I dont want to leave her. Also cause more than likely if I leave before she passes she will probably have to be put in a home. They've been looking for someone for months now and theres no one. Thank Yall for the good wishes, and I hope everything works out for both of us too. Ideally, id find a job shortly before she passes and start the new one shortly after. i can afford to take off a few weeks, maybe a month, but the last time it took me 8 months to find another job. I didnt choose this line of work, It kinda fell into my lap, and I figure since im good at it, and I like the living arrangements, I just kept doing it. now that Im on my own, id like a job where I can go home at night. I want to get back into office manager/ secretarial cause its fun, fast paced and I'd get to go home in the evenings. I am bilingual, I can dance circles around computers, have great phone skills, but Im illegal so its hard to find a job. I know the right thing to do is to stay, and my karma will reward me later, but I cannot be homeless.. its just not an option. Geo said its a normal severance pay for this line of work, but its just not enough. Im not gonna ask these people to keep paying me for months after she passes or goes into hospice care or a home. Damn, i dont know what to do.

From a good ol boy from texan stand point, Drop the old bitch!


you gotta look out for numero uno