girls breakups ups and downs the bends whatever

my girlfriend is a spazz and wants to break up because she doesnt think i really love her or care for her. its because shes one of those people who love to be smothered in emotion, and im one of those people who would choke if smothered. i cant stand being all lovey dovey 24/7.

please dont get me wrong..im not careless and emotionless..i love her with all my heart. but she doesnt seem to appreciate me or something. its like im not good enough for her, so she just gets mad and spazzes out on me and asks me 100 times if i still love her and she says she doesnt trust me and all this.

what am i to do? man i hate girl problems. and youd think that after 2 years stuff like this would smooth out fast.

2 years

well I can tell you after 3 and a half...it dont get better

That, my friend is a little something called Insecurity. I totally feel you. That level of neediness is a sign of a bigger problem. I am also a person who isnt into pda's, and I think its rude when other people do it. Now, im not talking about touching or hand holding or hugging, but anything beyond that like groping and making out.. Now, it isnt completely on her however. Do you show affection in private? foreplay leading to sex isnt considered affection.

"I thought it was supposed to get easier when you worked harder"

it just sucks when everything is going great, then out of nowhere this crap pops up. this always happens. its like a once every other month thing now, and i cant take it. i cant take being questioned on my integrity over and over and over, the same thing again and again. it just makes me dislike her. and she always has a way of making me feel bad about everything. if i get upset when this kind of stuff happens, she always says "see i know you dont care, because whenever i ask about this you always get mad". i dont get mad i just get upset that she doesnt trust me after all this time. then when i say that, she says "you have to earn your trust" what the hell have i been doing the past 2 years?!

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Originally Posted by Hilder420

That, my friend is a little something called Insecurity. I totally feel you. That level of neediness is a sign of a bigger problem. I am also a person who isnt into pda's, and I think its rude when other people do it. Now, im not talking about touching or hand holding or hugging, but anything beyond that like groping and making out.. Now, it isnt completely on her however. Do you show affection in private? foreplay leading to sex isnt considered affection.

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i certainly show her affection..i love that girl. i just dont give it to her constantly, every other minute im with her. sometimes i wanna sit next to her and read a book while shes watching tv or something, but somehow thats construed as me not wanting to be with her or me being bored when im with her. were together every day..do i have to be constantly in her face when im with her for her to get it?

i feel like im asking questions a 15 year old should be asking about his new first girlfriend, and its certainly not like that. im 22 and shes 23, weve had our fair share of relationships and we certainly arent children anymore. sometimes it doesnt seem like were grown up though.

If I was you, I would ask her for a serious chat. Some where relaxing and chilled, maybe your living room or whatever to make it feel like a comfortable chat which means the likely hood of it turning into a "row" are much smaller I would presume.
Ask her what the problems are and the reason for her breaking up with you and why she "gets mad and spazzes out on me" etc and reply as needed with why you still value your relationship and her. The main idea would be to find out, why.
If you have given her no reason to not trust you, e.g been a good boyfriend then you may find the issue is totally and completely hers and you need to find out what the problem really is with her.
You really should ask pin pointing questions and listen to the answers, if she blows up and goes mad, drop her like shes a billion degrees.

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Originally Posted by WeedyBoyWonder

If I was you, I would ask her for a serious chat. Some where relaxing and chilled, maybe your living room or whatever to make it feel like a comfortable chat which means the likely hood of it turning into a "row" are much smaller I would presume.
Ask her what the problems are and the reason for her breaking up with you and why she "gets mad and spazzes out on me" etc and reply as needed with why you still value your relationship and her. The main idea would be to find out, why.
If you have given her no reason to not trust you, e.g been a good boyfriend then you may find the issue is totally and completely hers and you need to find out what the problem really is with her.
You really should ask pin pointing questions and listen to the answers, if she blows up and goes mad, drop her like shes a billion degrees.

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thanks for those mighty words o wisdom..this is totally irrelevant but whats up with your avatar? funny stuff.

haha anyways, im sure me and her will be having a big talk today sometime. i just hope its after the chargers game.

yeah, some people would be like "DUMP HER MAN SHES NOT WORTH IT" but the way you talk about her, and your tone, sounds like you really care about her. (especially after 2 years) I agree with Weedy, just talk to her and discuss the issues shes having. It sounds like its pretty much insecurity, so tell her that you love her and it wont change.(which i'm sure youre already doing..) But make sure to do it during your chat. Ask her if anything else is bothering her and if she wants to talk about it. Listen to her. Even if she keeps repeating herself, listen to her carefully. If she still gets mad and flips out, or has a tantrum, i'd heavily suggest a "break."

someday? today? tomorrow? the day after...
don't let it go stale.

my avatar is BOOM HEAD shot! I play FPS. Those who can, do. Those who can't, complain. (<headshot)

you both cant help the way you are girls like to be told and reminded all time you have to learn the game son its as simple as this you need to show more affection if not then maybe find a girl who doesnt like all that lovey dovey shit but i dont mind it tbh