Vermont Technical College

This cracked me up a little bit, so I thought maybe you guys would 'get it'...

I was graciously invited to spend the night at Vermont Technical College in a friend's dorm. I could have the couch, he said. After an hour-long drive, I plopped down onto said couch and heard a crunch. Something poked my hands which were resting on either side of me, and I jumped up instinctively.

"What was that?"
"Oh, you probably felt the Pringles."
"Pringles?"
"See, I was playing Guitar Hero the other day and spilled pringles all over the couch. My roomate's ass sits on this couch. I didn't want to eat ass pringles, so I smushed them into the cushions."

I stared at him.

"Anyway, I want to go introduce you to the Weed Guy."

So he led me across campus in search of the Weed Guy. The wind was blowing really cold, so we ducked into the lobby of a building brightly lit by snack machines. In front of one of the machines was a skinny guy, dressed in baggy clothes, swaying slightly on his feet in front of the machine. When the door shut behind us, he turned around and smiled at us.

"Hi, Keith. Hi, lady."

"Is this Weed Guy?" I whispered to Keith. But I really didn't need to. His eyes were bloodshot and watery, and he continued to grin a toothy, spacey grin for a minute, before adopting a concerned look and turned back to the vending machine. He knotted his hair in his fingers in frusteration and groaned. It was obvious he was completely, utterly stoned.

"What's the matter?", I asked cautiously.

With the pleading eyes, he just pointed at the LCD readout. $1.35.

"Duuuuuuuuuude. I like. I REALLY want the Ree-sees Pee-sees."

I looked down and noticed the back of his shorts were stuffed with Rold Gold pretzel bags on one side and a Mountain Dew on the other.

I grinned. "Because the salty would taste really good with the sweet, right?"

His eyes grew large as he lunged at me. His arms flailed in the air. "YES!" he cried. "EXACTLY, MAN! Do you have like...I don't know the math...do you have like a coin, or something? To get the Pee-sees?"

I dug in my purse for a minute and drew out a quarter, which I deposited in the machine for him. I punched in the keys and watched his entire head follow the bag of Reese's Pieces on its journey out of the machine.

He bent over, still swaying, and dug it out of the reception slot. He looked at the bag lovingly for a moment, and then looked startled, as though he just remembered something. I had a handful of change that I was sorting back into my wallet as this was transpiring.

I saw him struggle with the coin return slot for a minute, and then make his way back over to me. "Here's the rest of your money, man." He began to hand the dime over, but suddenly he looked absolutely GRIPPED with guilt. He looked from the quarters in my hand to the dime he was about to hand back to me.

"Dude! That's like....so smaaaall... "

He pressed the dime and quarter together.

"...in exchaaaaaaange..."

Suddenly, he smiled another big toothy grin.

"I'm gonna finish my Sour Diesel! You can like, have some! 'Cause you gave me a big coin, and I gave you a little coin, and then we'd be even."

So he smoked me up with the most fantastic weed I've ever had in my life like we were best friends, all over a bag of Reese's Pieces.

Then we went to the dining hall and ate three bowls of ice cream.

The end. :D

Awesome story man. Definitely sounds like a great college experience.

man i have stoned right now. i don't know how long it took you to type that. or how long it took people to read it.
but put together with the music and that EPIC STORY it took me about 35 minutes. it was just awesome man.