Wierd High

I spent the holidays with my grandparents in Destin, FL. It was an important thanksgiving because my grandpa had been diagnosed with cancer in 7 different spots over his body. And for the first time in 5 years all of our family (on my granparents side) were together. (Its a long story but it made it all more emotional for all of us to be together after not seeing each other for a long time) So the whole weekend there was alot of crying going on.

My mom has kept the closed to my Grandparents over the years and was the most upset about it. She didnt want to leave and said she would come back next weekend. So then we left for Birmingham, Al, a 5 hour trip. We got home and my family left for an iron bowl party. I was staying at my house and a friend of mine was going to come over and smoke and we were going to watch the game. My mom wanted to stay because my grandparents weren't answering their phone. She was worried, I really wasn't.

So then I got my bong out and loaded up a bowl of some train wreck that i had before the trip. My friend was on his way and i didnt want to wait so i went ahead and started smoking. I get done and i walk to the basement door to unlock it for my friend and I start hearing some heavy crying. I listen to it for about 10 minutes. I knew what had happened immediately but it didnt kick in for like 2 minutes. I just walked around not really accepting it and not trying to think about it. Remember I smoked some Train Wreck so I'm really high. I thought to myself I really dont want to think about this. So I went upstairs to my mom to tell her i knew and didnt want to talk about it. I peeked my head into the room and saw her. She looked really sad and kind of scary. It took me by breathe and she saw me and said top me sobbing, "Charlie Grandpas Dead." I had a blank look in my mind and turned to walk out. I back downstairs thinking about it and I was sad, but I wasn't sad about my grandpa, it just hadn't sunk in yet. I loved my grandpa alot but I just couldn't accept it. I walked back downstairs with my head down. It was a really weird feeling. I was still really high, but I was so mellowed out and my head was down at the ground and it felt like i couldnt move it. But i still wasn't sad. I stood in my room for like 10 minutes thinking about it when i hear footsteps walking down the stairs. i think oh crap and said,
"Mom I dont want to talk about it."
She said," I know but I want someone to hug." In a really sad sobbing tone.
Once again i got that blank thought in my mind. She walked in and hugged me sobbing. This is when I started feeling really bad. She started telling me the details and i was just standing there hugging her not moving at all looking straight ahead. I remembered that I had just smoked in there and something could still be out. So I walked out in the hall hoping she would follow me which she did. She talked more about it and I stood there looking sad, Which i was now. She finally walked upstairs and i went back into my room. I called my friend who was still at his house and told him just to come after the game. I made sure everything was up and just started watching the game. In about ten seconds I started to forget about it and everything went back to normal. But I was still more mellow than i've ever been before.

I started to think about it again and it was pretty horrible but I think the fact that i smoked really dank weed helped. Cause I think with the regular bud I smoke I would of thought about it alot more and been alot more sad. I've thought about it before that dealing with a death would be a really bad experience while high. And this should of been but it really wasn't.

Now my sister just walked in the door crying. I can hear her perfectly from downstairs and I'm starting to get the feeling again.

thats fucking sad bro. my grandfather had stomach cancer but by the time he had gotten operated it has already spread to the liver which by then there is no way to survive without a miracle. i was in Japan with him during the operation but after i left back to america he died. fucking sad. makes you feel guilty as shit.
you should write a short story. that really hit me

go spend some time with your familly if your feeling up to it. I know how you feel bro i felt the same when my gradma died srry for your loss

OK Its the next day and im sober now. It was a weird night with everything going on. My friend came over later and we smoked and I got really high again. It was completely normal high we just talked and played some donkey kong. Tomorrow I leave for Destin. It looks like i might be missing school next week.

IMO you should have been less concerned about how sad you felt and done more to comfort your mom. You seem to really not care how anyone else feels beyond how it makes you feel in response, and that is pretty sad.