My relationship with who you might call god.

*my satiristic ranting on my belief of "god"*

discussion please.

To me god, religion, and all that is an ambiguous subject - if that. Growing up I was told of someone in the sky who created everything. A simple explanation to such a complexed matter. A child old enough to ask wouldn't doubt it. Someone who lost a loved one hoping to see them once again in any sort of after life wouldn't doubt it. Anyone afraid of death or what was to happen to them after death wouldn't doubt it. Anyone who wanted power and had the potential to tell a great story wouldn't hesitate to create it just to manipulate and control anyone willing to believe. Story or fiction? Fuck if I know or ever will. I for one believe anyone can go through life being a decent enough person to make life on earth easy enough for the ones who surround him/her. Including obvious things like, um: Not murdering them, not stealing from them, not raping them, respecting your parents, not having sex with that one hot teacher you had or neighbor. You know, a few things the 10 commandments cover. That to me is common sense any straight minded person who pops out there mamma's womb should grow to know. Why would I have to find such obvious morality in some over-aged book when society and humanity should have already taught me that without the physchological help and crutch of, as far as I know, some made up guy in the sky?

When I THOUGHT I was old enough to draw my own conclusions about religion I decided there was no god because I was stupid, rebellious and didn't want to be controlled by anything. I had convinced myself, because of my mentality, I had to rebel against something I didn't even know existed. How does one do that? Thats when the confusion struck. So right now, at this spiritual crossroads (one would say) in my life - It is safe for me to say I don't know. I say this because I want to do me for the rest of my life; and if there was an all powerful, all knowing, divine spirit in the sky watching down on all of us I would like to believe he would understand that. I mean why not? Would he really want me to be an arrogant tool who went to religous camps at their families expectations and expense their whole life; having shameful, corrupt wet dreams of that smokin' hot counselor throughout adolecenthood. Or maybe a degenerate, know all teenager who went through life blindly because thats all you can do when you have "everything" figured out. Or maybe, just maybe someone who would rather not give any of it much thought, live their life safe enough, and die peacefully. No matter which side of the spectrum you look at; a human being was just a human being at the end of their life no matter what they believed, and why should they be awarded or punished for that? Me, hopefully after a nice, long, successful life when I die I'll be chilling in a awesome place surrounded by beautiful angels, white gates, horns, and everyone and thing I've ever loved. No doubt that would be the shit. Or maybe in a nocturnal sleep for eternity never to feel, or see anything ever again. I guess its up to us to decide. Just stop fucking comming to my door, waking me up, and giving me your shitty pamphlets, because now I have enough figured out to last me enough years until something really traumatic happens. Thank you.