my employment pisser story

i applyed at walmart and got a call 3 days later, they wanted to set up a interview. so we set one up for the next day. my interview was at 11 i went there did my iterview and was back in my car heading back to my house at 11:15 am (like a 5 fuckin min interview, pointless) then they called me back that fallowing afternoon and wanted to set up a time for a second interview so we set it up for the next week at 11 again, went in and the same thing a 5 min interview and i was on my way back home. they called me again that same afternoon and set up a job offer and piss test. so basicly 3 fuckin interviews + a pisser at walmart

so i new walmart piss tested before i even applyd there i just didnt no when so i came to EVERY interview prepard to take a piss test.

i used the substitution method, i used my gfs piss. a few hours before each interview i collected a sample from her and brought it home and put it in the frige right away, then about 1 hour before my interview i would pull it out and take a glass of water and put it in the microwave for about 40 seconds, then i would take my 2 oz sample of my gfs piss that i had in a travle sized shampo bottle and i would place it in the hot water that i had just microwaved. i would leave it in there tell the piss was over 108 degs. that gave me about 45 mins before the piss was under 93 degs. (i no 90 is the cut off but they would look at u funny if your piss was right at 90 degs) after each of the interviews i would run to my car and in my car i had a t-stat and would take the temp of the piss. now the first time it cooled off way to much so i was glad i didnt have the pisser (it was under 90 degs.) the second time it was still to cool for my liking (about 93) so the 3rd time when they had notifiyd me that i was going to be taking a piss test i bought sum hand warmers and made a little pouch for my travle sized shampoo bottle of piss to fit into and that kept it dam hot almost to hot like 120 degs so i got worried and took it out of the hand warmers before i got into the parking lot of walmart (dumb mistake) i had my job offer first and that took like 20 mins and then i had my pisser right there at walmart so the lady handed me the cup blah blah blah and i went into the bathroom and locked the door and instently went to work. i only needed to provide a 1 oz sample which was nice so i pourd my shit in her cup and then i pulled out my t stat and was like o shit i dont need this there one right here on the cup....but it only read 92 degs so i was freakin out thinking of what i could do to warm it up i couldnt think of anything so i just said im finished and handed the cup to the lady.

the lady didnt even fuckin look at the temp strip AT ALL not even a glimps, she didnt give a fuck if the piss was ice cold. i left walmart with a huge grin on my face and smoked a fatty joint on the way home. how fuckin stressfull was that, just for walmart a 8$ a hour job! they called me back 2 days later and said that my piss test came back clean and i can report to work on monday.

Fuckin ez man.

That IS a pisser dude. Your girlfriends piss! Thats legendary!

We love the piss cops that don't do there job.:rasta:

LoL Funny

-Wil