The Story of Baldev & Kumar

WARNING: I wrote this immediately following a blunt to the dome of some OG grandaddy.. enjoy??

The Story of Baldev & Kumar! MUST READ!

There was Baldev, and there was Kumar. These two guys grew up together the best of friends. Baldev was planning his wedding on Isla Sorna, 90 miles south of Puerto Rico, when the telephone rang. He picked it up to hear, none other than his best bud, Kumar's voice,

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME MY FRIEND!?"..Kumar's voice rang out.

"I wanted to suprise you buddy, me and Kate were going to tell you when the right time rolled around, honest!", Baldev said with compassion.
"Ahh, I hate suprises man...you know that!", said Kumar sounding more calm. "SO..when do we leave?"

"Next weekend".



So, the following weekend came around in a heartbeat. Baldev, Kate, Kumar and his fiance, Rose, as well as many family and friends were on the plane when Baldev passed a letter over the seat to Kumar. It read:
"Kumar..I'm scared brother. I'm not sure If she's the one for me. I think I love her, she's beautiful..and smart. What do you think? You and Rose look so happy together. Me and Kate argue quite often, and sometimes I get to thinkin she's in it for my money. Please advise me brother."


Kumar finished reading the letter and looked out the window and saw the beautiful crystal clear water and coral reef way down below. He looked over at Baldev, gave a thumbs up, and wrote:

"Baldev, I honestly think you two will be a wonderfull couple. She looks like the happiest woman on the earth as I look over at her right now. Do not fret, my friend. All will be fine. Love her like no other."

Baldev read the letter, smiled, and looked down at the same ocean Kumar had looked at and slowly fell asleep with no worries.



After the vows were made, and the groom had kissed the bride, newlyweds Baldev and Kate, followed by Kumar and Rose ran down to the beach to take a swim. Baldev and Kumar had a little too much champaigne and were told by their women to stay ashore so they wouldn't drown. So off went Kate and Rose, running and jumping for joy in the beautiful waters splashing away at the red-orange sunset.
Baldev and Kumar were on the shore making sand angels, when they heard something that made them jump to their feet in what seemed like the speed of light. The noise..faded by their alcohol buzz..resembled a..a....a girl screaming, screaming for help.

"KAAAAAAAAATE!!!!". . . . . "OH MY G-...ROOOOSE!!!"

The two friends ran frantically as fast as they could in to the ocean shores, in their wedding tuxedos. The blood red swells were slapping their chests with fury. The sun was completely gone now, the moon showing his first sign.
Kate and Rose had disappeared. Nowhere to be found. The only trace was what seemed like an ocean of blood. What seemed like forever passed as Baldev and Kumar searched for their very lives to find their women. Then..out of the blood red water, Kates body halfway into a ferocious sharks mouth SURGED out of the water screaming in agony. Baldev reached forward as fast as he could, grabbed her shoulders and pried her from the sharks jaws.
However, in what seemed like a nightmare in slow motion, Kates body was ripped in half. The hungry shark swallowed the lower half of the body and backed off satisfied.

Kumar was still in the waters looking for Rose, as Baldev was dragging Kates ripped torso to shore.

"WHYYYYYY!!! DON'T LEAVE ME...WHY ME!? WHY ME?!," Baldev cried in anger and shocked that this could actually happen to him.
Kate mustered her last breath and out came the words,
"I love you..."


"WOOOOOOOSSHHH!! CRACK! CLUNK!!!"

After an hour of searching all he could search, Kumar walked in dis-belief back to the shore where Baldev was still hovered over Kates body sobbing. He went over to Baldev, put his arm around him and tried to think of the words to say. He couldn't think of anything and after a few minutes..Baldev stopped crying...stopped breathing. He turned Baldev's face up towards his own, only to realize his eyes were rolling back into his head and it felt like his jaw as dislocated. Kumar had no idea what was about to happen.

"....b-b-behiiind....y-y-ou...", and Baldev died.

Kumar stood up, turned around to see somebody standing about 20 feet behind him. Kumar, tears rolling down his face, cried out in anger, "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!!?".

At that moment, the man started running full speed towards Kumar, and before he could flinch a muscle, Kumar felt the most powerfull blast to his jaw that resembled somebody swinging full power at his face with a sledge hammer. The incredible force had struck one side of Kumars face SO hard, it sent his jaw in a full 360 degrees rotation around his head and back into position!

"WOOOOOOOSSHHH!! CRACK! CLUNK!!!"

Kumar hit the ground. He felt the end was near. He stopped breathing, and as his eyes were rolling back into his head he got a glance of the mans face who had done this to him.

Only then, when it was too late, did he realize that Chuck Norris had delivered a Roundhouse kick to his face.




The End.

lmao that was fuckin funny! i love chuck norris jokes. nice one maine!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FluidS

lmao that was fuckin funny! i love chuck norris jokes. nice one maine!

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Haha. Thanks man, it was the chronic.


BTW, chuck norris don't fck around lol