Wow, this is crazy! Need advice! Sorry about the long read.
KK so I live in Phx, AZ my love lives in Lng, WA. I call her my love cuase we broke up a month ago, so she's not my gf. ANYWAYS, we broke up cause the distance is too hard for her, and she was fading. NOW we dated for a year before i left..AMAZING. Seriously the coolest chick and relationship EVER no problems. Also even when i was here we woudl have minor problems. So it was weird when she started to fade and we broke up. I recently went back home for 5 days, and we acted like we were together and she still said she loved me. that was about 4 weeks ago. Now i called her SUNDAY morning, and she basically told me to stop waiting for her (cuase i was miserable) and she still loved me but it was different..(faded). So i have been not talking to her till today, where i couldnt take it anymore and did it. So she said she hadnt texted me cause she thought i was trying to get over her, and said that is waht she watns me to do. So i get sad, all depressed, talking to friends to help me and then my boss (i'm at work) says skylar come here for a moment. Gives me this job offer. I am a drafter, and work for a company that finds position to fill. So the company i work at, doesnt pay me they pay them then they pay me! hahaha get it? ANYWAYS he wants to hire me there, at 18 to 20 an hour..part time. PART TIME mainly cause he knows i want to continue my school and they offered to pay for 90% of my schooling if i get A's. but i originally planned to go back to school in WA. So i started thinking that is the best thing ever.... but then it hit me. NO MATTER how good that sounded, I still would of rather be with jessica. so i get out of the meeting. and text her about it, and am like Listen i need you to be really serious, (explain job offer) then ask I would only turn this down if you were serious about us in the future... like we would work on everything, nothing was ever really wrong but distance, but she is still in high school so if she still watns to party, we can work things out ( I know we can do it...TRUST ME). and she is like IDK what i want.
OOOOHHH NOW you dont know, a minute ago you were telling me to get over it! haha she asks how long till i have to know, i tell her to "take her time, and follow her heart" and proceed to tell her "if you tell me to come home, and it doesnt work out, i will not hold it against you (love is amazing:thumbsup:). and i told her that i want to come home for her but only if she is serious about me and her. So she is going to think about it.
this morning i had NO control or Power. now i have a majority of it. but one more thing... she never EVER EVER talks to her friends about our problems... but she went to my friend for help.. so she is scared now.. CUASE SHE DOESNT HAVE THAT SAFETY NET UNDER HER. She knows i woud do antyhign for her,but doesnt know what to want, but now that i might not come home.... she realizes what she needs!
soooo tell me your opinion, ask questions, give insight! ESPECIALLY THE LADIES!
Wow, this is crazy! Need advice! Sorry about the long read.
Dude... you're giving this girl, who is in high school and whom you broke up with, waaaay too much power in deciding your future. It feels like the most important thing in the world when you think you're in love, but you are probably not. Its cliche to say it, but everyone else will tell you the same thing. You know why? Because they have gone through early relationships like this. Trust me, do what you want to do, not what she "might" do. Let alone the fact that she is in high school and will want to experience her own life. Don't even tell me you want to be attached like this this early... Good luck though....
Wow, this is crazy! Need advice! Sorry about the long read.
Quote:
Originally Posted by partcleguy
Dude... you're giving this girl, who is in high school and whom you broke up with, waaaay too much power in deciding your future. It feels like the most important thing in the world when you think you're in love, but you are probably not. Its cliche to say it, but everyone else will tell you the same thing. You know why? Because they have gone through early relationships like this. Trust me, do what you want to do, not what she "might" do. Let alone the fact that she is in high school and will want to experience her own life. Don't even tell me you want to be attached like this this early... Good luck though....
KK homie! thanx for the advice. I agree with everything you say. Except, the most important thing in my life is love. I know i have a future, no matter if i take this oppurtunity or not. SO i see it as i will still continue school later... but falling in love like i did, doesnt happen often. Something is telling me if she tells me to come home, that i need to go home. its cliche to say it, but "i would rather loved and lost, then never have loved before".
Wow, this is crazy! Need advice! Sorry about the long read.
I'd take the job. Can't give you any advice, though, sorry.
edit: This is, as if I were in your position.
Wow, this is crazy! Need advice! Sorry about the long read.
I would take the job and the offer to pay for your school.
Sounds like this relationship has already faded enough that she is moving on, and you need to do the same. Someone mentioned that you are giving this girl too much power in your life, which is true, but you are also putting too much pressure and responsibility on her, A high school girl should not be put in the position of making these kinds of decisions. She's too young to be asked to commit enough to you to make lit worthwhile to give up this job opportunity.
Also, you said that if she said to come back, and then things didn't work out, you wouldn't hold it against her. Are you sure that's true?
Wow, this is crazy! Need advice! Sorry about the long read.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonrider
Also, you said that if she said to come back, and then things didn't work out, you wouldn't hold it against her. Are you sure that's true?
Yes, cause i heard the offer.... I IMMEDIATELY knew the only reason i would go home..... I know all this soudns like I'm walkng into a trap, but i dont care. I am not really leaving this decision to her. I have already made my decision. I want to go home...Arizona is just NOT for me... at all. but i dont wnat to go home... to nothing, when i planned on going home to her. SOOO really, if she wants me to come home i will follow my original wanted plan. If not.... then I have to tought it out!
Wow, this is crazy! Need advice! Sorry about the long read.
You have two paths in front of you... one is with jessica... the other is at the new job
before jessica did you ever think anyone would make you feel this way?
if you have a positive outlook on life and accept others you will find what you truely were looking for in the first place...
just let it happen... stop thinking about it so much...give people enough time and they will surprise you.. may not be pleasant
Wow, this is crazy! Need advice! Sorry about the long read.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atacil
You have two paths in front of you... one is with jessica... the other is at the new job
before jessica did you ever think anyone would make you feel this way?
if you have a positive outlook on life and accept others you will find what you truely were looking for in the first place...
just let it happen... stop thinking about it so much...give people enough time and they will surprise you.. may not be pleasant
Before jess....hmmmm I was SOOO DIFFERENT. i didnt give a fuck about anyone or anything... my life my problems. Like i knew i could fall in love.... but NO WHERE NEAR this shit! first of all i AM best friends with her older brother, have been for 8 years.. so it was weird telling him i liked his sister.... Her family is like my family, they love me, i love them. my family adores her... its just a pretty fucking amazing relationship.. the only shaky thing is that i am here.. but only for like 2 more months! I have made many sacrifices for her and her for me.... I would never forgive myself if i gave up on something that might not come again...this strong or good. I can always go to school..... TRUST ME!
Wow, this is crazy! Need advice! Sorry about the long read.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGreatBenzino
KK so I live in Phx, AZ my love lives in Lng, WA. I call her my love cuase we broke up a month ago, so she's not my gf. ANYWAYS, we broke up cause the distance is too hard for her, and she was fading. NOW we dated for a year before i left..AMAZING. Seriously the coolest chick and relationship EVER no problems. Also even when i was here we woudl have minor problems. So it was weird when she started to fade and we broke up. I recently went back home for 5 days, and we acted like we were together and she still said she loved me. that was about 4 weeks ago. Now i called her SUNDAY morning, and she basically told me to stop waiting for her (cuase i was miserable) and she still loved me but it was different..(faded). So i have been not talking to her till today, where i couldnt take it anymore and did it. So she said she hadnt texted me cause she thought i was trying to get over her, and said that is waht she watns me to do. So i get sad, all depressed, talking to friends to help me and then my boss (i'm at work) says skylar come here for a moment. Gives me this job offer. I am a drafter, and work for a company that finds position to fill. So the company i work at, doesnt pay me they pay them then they pay me! hahaha get it? ANYWAYS he wants to hire me there, at 18 to 20 an hour..part time. PART TIME mainly cause he knows i want to continue my school and they offered to pay for 90% of my schooling if i get A's. but i originally planned to go back to school in WA. So i started thinking that is the best thing ever.... but then it hit me. NO MATTER how good that sounded, I still would of rather be with jessica. so i get out of the meeting. and text her about it, and am like Listen i need you to be really serious, (explain job offer) then ask I would only turn this down if you were serious about us in the future... like we would work on everything, nothing was ever really wrong but distance, but she is still in high school so if she still watns to party, we can work things out ( I know we can do it...TRUST ME). and she is like IDK what i want.
OOOOHHH NOW you dont know, a minute ago you were telling me to get over it! haha she asks how long till i have to know, i tell her to "take her time, and follow her heart" and proceed to tell her "if you tell me to come home, and it doesnt work out, i will not hold it against you (love is amazing:thumbsup:). and i told her that i want to come home for her but only if she is serious about me and her. So she is going to think about it.
this morning i had NO control or Power. now i have a majority of it. but one more thing... she never EVER EVER talks to her friends about our problems... but she went to my friend for help.. so she is scared now.. CUASE SHE DOESNT HAVE THAT SAFETY NET UNDER HER. She knows i woud do antyhign for her,but doesnt know what to want, but now that i might not come home.... she realizes what she needs!
soooo tell me your opinion, ask questions, give insight! ESPECIALLY THE LADIES!
It is presumptuous for you to assume you know what she needs. She already dumped you. She lives really far away. She has probably dated a coupe guys since then.
Take the job. It's a lot of money.
Plus giving up a good paying job to move to another state to be with an ex-girlfriend who is still in high school is not noble, it's just plain stupid, and will make you look like a chump.
I know I may sound like a dick, but I am just being real with you. Reality is harsh sometimes.
Wow, this is crazy! Need advice! Sorry about the long read.
Quote:
Originally Posted by angry nomad
It is presumptuous for you to assume you know what she needs. She already dumped you. She lives really far away. She has probably dated a coupe guys since then.
Take the job. It's a lot of money.
Plus giving up a good paying job to move to another state to be with an ex-girlfriend who is still in high school is not noble, it's just plain stupid, and will make you look like a chump.
I know I may sound like a dick, but I am just being real with you. Reality is harsh sometimes.
no worries on harshness... well not yet atleast haha. but it was a mutual decision to break up... we didnt talk during that period for 4 days... we talk everyday, and I know she hasnt touched somone else...or i wouldnt even be thinking about this. I know the love is still there.... i dont know cann.com the person i am now tells me to go home. by the way 2 monts till i go back forever if i dont stay....
