Boyfriend spends all of his time with his friend

he says its just because his friend has pot and smokes it with him. they are also "starting a business" together but that includes talking about it for 5 hours a day and not really doing any of the renovation work that needs to be done on their building. i asked him if he liked his guy friend more than me but he says no.

he also says that if it was a choice to hang with me or the guy friend (if we both had pot) he would choose me. but i never ever have pot because no money. i cant really work right now.

the only alone time i ever get with him is when we wake up and when we go to bed, all of the other time i have to deal with his friend always being around.

if i got my own life and my own friends, i would probably never get to see my boyfriend because god knows he wouldnt tag along like i do with him. i moved here to be with him so this is his town and not mine.

i dont know, i feel shut out and jealous of his friend. i shouldnt have to have pot for him to want to hang out with me. he says all i want to do when we hang out is watch movies but im down for anything and he knows that.

his friend always talks about how him and my bf should travel to amsterdam but the friend knows that i cant travel out of the country. its like "did you even want me to go or did you want a private getaway with my bf?"



:(

You can find a friend and leave for the weekend.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by The Great Wave

he also says that if it was a choice to hang with me or the guy friend (if we both had pot) he would choose me. but i never ever have pot because no money.

i moved here to be with him so this is his town and not mine.

i dont know, i feel shut out and jealous of his friend. i shouldnt have to have pot for him to want to hang out with me.

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No offense, please take this as constructive criticism.

Re-read the bits I quoted from you.
You sound... clingy?
He sounds... detached?

You already know the answer to this. He is not at a place where he's ready to be in a relationship right now. If he's trying to start a business and all he does is talk about it and smoke pot, that business is going to fail anyway. You moved to his town to be with him? Did you see any of the warning signs BEFORE you moved?

It sounds like you have nothing in common except pot. Pot isn't an end unto itself, it's an enhancement of the lifestyle you already live. If you have mutual interests, smoking can make them even more relaxing. But it just doesn't sound like you do anything together except sleep.

Time to move out, move back to YOUR turf. If he wants to be with you, he'll make changes. If he doesn't, he wasn't worth your time anyway. There's no forcing a relationship that simply isn't working.

eloquently put stinkyattic.

@ the great wave:

how far did you move for this guy? how old are u guys?

You shouldnt have to have anything for your boyfriend/girlfriend to 'hang out' with you , i have alot of friends like this who only see partners on a night time and morning , due to them hanging around with their mates all day smokin dro' , no offense but he sounds childish , and 'stinkys' right , you seem clingy. just IMO tho.

It sounds like he may be GAY. If you are feeling lonely and neglected I could possibly offer my services.For a nominal fee of course.lol:kisslove:

You should NEVER try to come between a guy and his boys, how would you feel if he tried to do the same to you?

the fact remains that she shouldn't HAVE to come b/t her boyfriend and his sausage party. He as a responsible and interested boyfriend should WANT to spend time with her regardless of whos got the green.

i personally have been w/ my lady for 7 years (just got engaged last weekend) and we see each other for about 1-2 hours a night. i run my own business so i'm very busy and she works. i LOVE the time i spend with her and i know the feeling is mutual and wouldn't want it any other way. Usually its hard to let something go that makes you feel 'comfortable' as i'm sure u and your man are but if he won't meet you (AT LEAST) halfway i don't think he's worth your time.

and if all else fails quit having sex w/ him till he makes some improvements. that'll light a fire under him - or not; then you'll truly know what your relationship means to him.

good luck

Basically I can see a few things here:

1. It's unhealthy to not have your fellow girlfriends. It's unhealthy for us guys to not have our boys.

2. Space is important. If you keep nagging him to spend time while he's hanging out with his friend, you are going to get the same response. Most guys don't respond well to nagging.

3. What does this exactly have to do with pot? You keep leaning on it as an excuse you use and he uses.

If this guy can't live without some weed for a few hours to spend time with someone he loves, he's a g'damn loser. Do you want to be with a loser? Didn't think so.

From the sounds of it, he'll never get his business started. Yeah, starting a business requires discussion, and deep thought, but smoking pot while trying to plan it? Inexcusable.

Dump the SOB.