crazy experience

so... i had just gotten outta jail, so its been 21 days since i smoked some herb... i hit that bitch a few good tomes, let the high sink in. once the joint was done smoked, i was sittin in my car w/ my boyfriend just enjoyin my high, when i started gettin really really paranoid. it got carried away and my brain was flippin out. i seriously thought i was goin schizophrenic, or i was bein possessed or somethin. i was hearin myself talk to myself and it was like i couldnt control my own thoughts and it was the worst experience of my life. i figured i have to sleep so this feeling will go away. i woke up the next morning kind of confused as to what had happened the night before. wondered what was wrong with me. ive never had anxiety or nervousness that extreme ever before. it really freaked me out. i was too scared to smoke pot for a little while.

ever since that night ive been more anxious / nervous around people ive never met before....
its strange, but i dont know what exactl;y is wrong or what all happened that night... im still haunted by that night and i will never forget it...

i just want assurance that im not crazy... i wonder if this has happened to anyone before, or something similar to my night has happened to anyone.


nowadays i smoke a few times daily and im okay... i just have anxiety problems and nerve problems.... xanax will help sortof... but yea some feedback would be lovely.
<3
u all
-Vick

Did you was a regular smoker before this 21-days break? If so, it would explain... taking a break when youre a regular smoker makes your tolerance reset, so when you smoke again, you go WAYYY high... and that would be why you became so paranoid and such... :stoned:

...uh go see a doctor

bah! if doctors spent more time guiding their patients instead of drugging them; that might be a decent option. you did the right thing posting here. and who knows what triggered that sort of response to marijuana. i know what anxiety is like. i know how difficult it can be to rationalize delusional thoughts and emotions, especially in the midst of an anxiety attack/episode. i like to see it as a trial of my soul. of course, when i'm experiencing those feelings, such creativity is abandoned--hope is lost, if you will. it's like you're playing a video-game, except your controller is unplugged and you can't activate your character. it is a nightmare!

the lesson here is one of preparation. personally, i have come to expect an anxious episode every time i puff the herb and it's paid off. i am noticing gradual improvements in the social department, in terms of listening (not selective listening like many who experience anxiety have the tendency of doing), observing, and an overall understanding of the do's and do nots. my problem however is slightly different. because i experience these feelings while i am around familiar company, like my family and friends. and when i meet new, talkative, outgoing people, i feel like a weight has been lifted off me, especially if i can confidently and willingly involve myself. i passed on the chance to truly learn the people i call friends. i mean, i know them but i don't really know them. for example, don't expect me to finish anyone's sentences or recall one's birthday because they'll just be disappointed. we hang out because we partied a lot in the past and somehow in the midst of all that partying, our souls bonded while our minds were still very unprepared. my attempts to accept them as friend goes with great difficulty but with each passing day, those unwelcome emotions and thoughts rush back to me less malevolent than before. i digressed a bit but i hope you understand what i wanted to share with you.

yeah im a regular smoker... i smoked about a dub every day, for a year before i got locked up. so i guess not being high for so long then smokin some good herb was kind of like a brain shock lol. and i was listening to bob marley, which got me really relaxed and i let the weed take full effect and shit just went nuts! my heart felt like it was going to explode it was beating so fast, and it was so heavy, i couldnt breathe normal, it was terrible! i havent experienced anything like that since then; so i know im not nuts. but yea, thanks for everyones feedback. its awesome to share my experiences with other stoners all over the globe.
:joint1: