I mostly do freelance design work and don't have to worry about being tested, but i got offered a sweet contract ($25/hr) and had to at least TRY to pass the test. I had exactly 24 hours notice. I wasn't registered in time to post any questions, so spent the night reading up on different methods and decided to go with dilution and some certo for good measure (as i have personally witnessed my friend pass 4 UA's with their own system involving Certo).
Info about me
24-year-old male
Heavy Smoker for 2-3 years (at least a blunt a day)
Slightly above average metabolism
I smoked a blunt the day before to prepare for my interview, got the job offer, and made my appointment to go sign my contract and paperwork. I was then told i would have to go test directly after this at around 4pm the next day. I immediately begain drinking about 2 glasses of water an hour, and stayed up all night reading this and other related forums.
Got up the next day, began drinking water again. I drank about 4 24oz waters by noon and was peeing clear about every 25 minutes.
I then drank about a liter of ice tea and a pepsi, and took 2 B complex vitamin (Nature's Made with Vitamin C).
I then mixed up one packet of Certo (fruit pectin for canning and preserving) with 2 14 oz bottles of cranberry juice. I drank this during the one hour drive to the appointment. Finished drinking this at about 3pm. I then began taken 1 aspirin every 14 minutes until i had taken 6.
Filled out my paperwork, pissed and heading to the testing facility. I figured i need to piss 3 times before taking the test, so i drank 3 more 24 oz. waters, stopped and pissed at a gas station on the way, then pissed again while waiting in the lobby to go for real.
Be warned, the Certo will upset your stomach. I didn't have painful gas or cramps, but my intestines rumbled so loud the people sitting next to me could hear. Very embarrassing. Expect to have a nice healthy bowel movement later on that night as well.
So at about 5 they FINALLY call me back to take the REAL piss test. I was told to wash my hands and to empty my pockets. All pretty standard. I was then given the cup and instructions, and allowed to go in, lock the door and do my bidness'.
Needless to say i REALLY wish i had substituted as a 2nd option, as i could have easily taken advantage and got away with it. Hindsight is always 20/20.
So i pissed for 2 seconds, filled the cup to the line, then finished in the toilet. NO flushing. Went outside and handed her the cup, she marked the temp and put it in some kind of machine (an eScreen I believe) and had me sign some forms.
She then put my piss cup in the machine, hit some buttons and it said â??injectingâ?. =/
I asked when the results would be ready and she said about 10 minutes but my employer wouldnâ??t get them until Monday morning.
I left for the 1 1/2 hour drive in rush hour traffic, and smoked a blunt on the way in protest.
I should know something Monday.
