Abusive parents. How did it affect you?

Well growing up i didn't always have the nice house in the suburbs. Or the fridge filled with food. My mother hit me all the time when she was using, and found it funny to do it infront of her friends. Kicked me out at age 12. My father well lets jsut say he did un speakables. Ever since then i promised myself to not have children until i am fully capable to be a mother, and is able to support them in all ways. Meaning school, clothes, housing, movies, and recreational sports.

I think i have grown up way to fast for my age. But i look back and tell myself it's all happen for a reason and its made me the person i am today.

I wouldn't take back anything that has happen to me. It's the life that was givin to me, and its up to me to stay strong.

Me too. Abusive, bipolar, alcoholic, pill-popping Mom. She really messed up my head- my brother got it worse- and I'm not going into that! Dad was not around often- in the navy. He was physically abusive during my early years. I can remember being hit at age 5 with a broad leather belt- and him putting wet washcloths on my bottom to bring down the welts. He got it together eventually and was a good Dad after that. Their divorce was hellish- and again, I'm not going there!

There are many of us who are children of abuse. We tend to go one of two ways- we either become abusers, or we fight it and become protectors. I am a protector. NO child in my care will be abused if I can help it. We can break the chain of abuse that has been handed down through our families. Our abusive parents were abused children. WE have a choice to make! I chose to break the chain of abuse. I hope you can too. No more abuse!- Granny

My father was very abusive. He beat us kids regularly with a hot wheel track. It left awful welts. But he was also very loving at times. I certainly had a love/hate relationship with him. I think I just feared him, mostly. I could never understand, and I still don't to this day, why you needed to hurt someone so much if you loved them. It escapes all logic to me.
As a result of my fathers abuse I turned into a ultra-sensitive, ultra-empathetic person. I can not stand to see others in pain, physical or emotional. I hate inflicting pain on any one, including animals. As granny says- I will protect them if I can!
I never hit my daughter. Quite frankly all the crap she pulled was quite normal and none of it was bad enough to hit her.(Unlike my dad who would beat you for nothing.) She was a great kid.(but then again... so was I!) I taught my daughter not to inflict pain on others.
I don't allow a lot of anger around me.If any one pisses me off too many times, I just phase them out of my life. I don't have time for too much anger.
I think the scariest thing was the fact that my dad sober. No drugs or drinking, just this horrible, horrible anger inside.
I suppose I yell once in a while, but mostly when I'm angry I get very quiet, and if you didn't know me you might not even realize I'm mad. And then I get over it.
Lifes too short for too much anger. I'd much rather be happy!:jointsmile:

Jesus, some of the things I'm reading here, and hear about elsewhere, I just can't get my head around how someone could inflict that kind of suffering on someone else. It's weired, because my parents never hit me, but people who are abusive to kids/spouses really really bother me, to the very core. I think if I saw somebody hitting their girlfriend or kid I'd just totally lose it and attack them, but maybe that's because of the harsh bullying I went through as a kid.

I never really got abused persay, but my parents would more or less take their anger out on me. We barely had any income and my parents were in a "transition phase" into there 30's more or less. I would get hit and mentally abused, and wouldn't see my parents that much. But it was never anything that bad. I think just my upbringing helped me mature fast, but not really from abuse, although the abuse may have triggered something in my head.

That which did not kill us, only made us stronger! - Granny