Doctor G: Drug Education, 1969

Health Class
I know itâ??s hard to believe some of the tales we old timers tell. Our good fortune was the amount of ignorance around us. So many people had been told horror stories they honestly expected marijuana addicts to act like characters from the old Reefer Madness movie. Knowing the kind of crap you kids go through now itâ??s hard to imagine how we go away with some of this stuff.
Take drug education for example. Today you have D.A.R.E. and all itâ??s related propaganda. Back in 1969 as the drug scourge was beginning to take hold some bright school administrator decided they could stop drug use by making kids aware of drugs. One of the ideas they batted around was introducing kids to drugs in a controlled environment, like health class.
Now Iâ??m not sure what todays health class looks like but in those days the primary focus was to reduce S.T.D.â??s (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). You know clap, syphilis, ghonrea that kind of stuff. We didnâ??t have AIDS or stuff like that. Usually if you got â??pecker poxâ?� or the like you got a couple of shots of penicillin and zowie, healthy again. Reproductive Biology was a college course and condoms were only available with a doctorsâ?? prescription. A weird time.
In this ignorant environment the gym teachers were supposed to teach drug awareness and avoidance as well. So try to picture this. In an effort to control drug use the cops turned over some of the evidence they had confiscated to the gym teachers and they were supposed to show us kids so we would know what to avoid if it came around at parties. With thirty of us crammed into a class room they pulled out a peg board covered with pipes and paraphernalia wired to the board. Then they broke out the samples. Oh God.
Now I never figured out whose bright idea it was but someone on the school board figured if the teachers burned a little of the â??potâ?� in the class the kids would recognize the smell and avoid it at parties, concerts, hippie gatherings, anti war protests, school bus stops and anywhere else it might be found. Unfortunately no one had given any practical consideration to how to do this. After they passed the bag around so we could all get a look and a whiff one of the gym teachers put a pinch in an ashtray and put a match to it. As you can imagine the result was not satisfactory.
Try to imagine the snickering and comments as this bag was passed around the stoners in the group.
â??I remember this stuff, itâ??s cut with oreganoâ?�
â??Oh Man this stuff was crapâ?�
â??Some one got ripped off hereâ?�
The board full of pipes was no better.
â??Hey thatâ??s Johnnyâ??s pipe!â?�
â??I had one like thatâ?�
After a while with poor results on the burning smell one of the class hippies, my friend John, put up his hand.
â??Uh, Miss Jones, maybe if you had a cigarette of the stuff it would burn better?â?�
What a good idea. But the gym teachers were all non smokers and we were all in High School and there was no smoking allowed on campus.
â?? Uh, Miss Jones I think I might have a rolling paper maybe I could roll one for you.â?�
Sure of course what a helpful child. No one thought to ask John why he might have a pack of rolling papers in his wallet.
John whipped out his pack of Zig Zags and in mere seconds had a fine joint rolled.
â??Should I light this Miss Jonesâ?�
Well of course, how else are people going to recognize the aroma?
I pulled out my lighter and reached over and put the flame to the end as John inhaled deeply.
Of course that wasnâ??t quite what they had in mind but before they could rush us and take it away John coughed and cried out
â??This stuff is crap, ughâ?� and put the joint down in the ash tray.
Now any normal person could see this was not the way the class was supposed to be run but the teachers were so ignorant they really didnâ??t know. When they passed around the dime bag of H someone in the back of the room took a huge snort and exclaimed
â??Itâ??s all cut man, just quinineâ?�
The gram of Cocaine didnâ??t make it to the back row, not that the quality was any better there. I really donâ??t know how many â??ludes or reds were missing from the bag but I know several people fell asleep in the next class.
So there you go, a short tale of my first experience with formal â??Drug Educationâ?�.
:stoned:

I was smoking with the kids a few nights ago and we got to talking about DARE and the like. I told this tale to the kids and they fell out of their chairs, so I thought I would share it with you. I mean I didn't a joint big enough to share with all of you so this story will have to do.
Doctor G

haha funny story, todays system is similar but definatly doesn't involve the lighting up part!

+Rep, that was great, especially with the comments from the crowd about how all the drugs were shit quality. BTW What grade was this?

LOL fantastic doc

LOl wow. That's awesome. So funny.

LOL maaaan, that story just doubled my buzz...i literally am "l-o-l"ing right now. Big props on that sir!

just goes to show that no matter the era, gub'mint subsidized fearmongers have no clue what the hell theyre doin when it comes to drug education