I've never been so glad to fail a drug test

Now I know I wasn't jipped on the goods. It's too bad though, because I really need the job. The lady conducting the urinalysis pulled me into the bathroom and discreetly told me that I tested positive for THC, then proceeded to tell me, "that's marijuana." I'm like, "I know." She then said, "It's not a big deal," and before she could finish that sentence, I conjectured with another, "I know." She told me to come back when I'm clean. So, I'm gonna go grab a big glass of apple juice...and then another...and another. And go back in tomorrow and pass. I should print out some of that information that granny provided us with and spread it around their office. That ought to send a message. Anyway, wish me luck. If I can't pass this test, I don't know when I'll be able to smoke again.

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Originally Posted by Ganj

Now I know I wasn't jipped on the goods. It's too bad though, because I really need the job. The lady conducting the urinalysis pulled me into the bathroom and discreetly told me that I tested positive for THC, then proceeded to tell me, "that's marijuana." I'm like, "I know." She then said, "It's not a big deal," and before she could finish that sentence, I conjectured with another, "I know." She told me to come back when I'm clean. So, I'm gonna go grab a big glass of apple juice...and then another...and another. And go back in tomorrow and pass. I should print out some of that information that granny provided us with and spread it around their office. That ought to send a message. Anyway, wish me luck. If I can't pass this test, I don't know when I'll be able to smoke again.

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Apple juice isnt going to help.

Hit your local headshop and buy a bottle of Quick Fix, and do the sub method. Thats probably the easiest route.

I can't, imitator. I'm broke. She told me to come back when I am clean. And since their suspicions aren't part of the job, I think I'll go in tomorrow with someone else's urine. What do you think?

And thanks for the heads up...I hate apple juice.

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Originally Posted by Ganj

I can't, imitator. I'm broke. She told me to come back when I am clean. And since their suspicions aren't part of the job, I think I'll go in tomorrow with someone else's urine. What do you think?

And thanks for the heads up...I hate apple juice.

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Make sure its clean, and keep it the proper temp, and it could work, yes. The key thing is making sure you can function with it hidden somewhere, without anyone noticing, and keeping the temp right. If the temp is off, they will not accept it.

Gluck bud. I am sure if FBR see's this, he will be able to give you a few more specifics in regards to subbing with other's urine.

Pretty nice she is letting you come back when you're clean.

I've heard that before. I registered for the program today, so next time I go there they'll have me take the test and that's it. So, I'm thinking I'll have my uncle piss in something secure I can conceal on me, then just pour it in the cup once I reach the bathroom. There shouldn't be an issue with the temperature, if everything goes according to plan. And anyway, it took me so long to piss the little bit that I gave them, that I think the transition from the car to the bathroom will actually be faster. We'll see.

I thought so too, blindman...that and a few other things when she pulled me into the bathroom. She was very attractive lol. I thought I was getting lucky lol. The reality though wasn't anything as pleasant.

Very Lucky. One of the best things that could happen from failing a test lol

Yeah, I caught a break. I just hope that it rolls over well with everyone when I walk in there tomorrow. I've been unemployed for a few months now, and before that I was just job-hopping. The longest I've been with a company was a year and a couple of months before I up and left. Blame it on poor work ethic or shy tendencies, but that kind of exposure frightens me. I guess it's a little of both. One should realize the importance of a steady income. And lately my folks have been pressuring me (in rather unscrupulous ways) to get a job.