I'm the Other Man, No one's rootin for me

Okay here's the story:

I met a girl this weekend and I fell for her instantly.

Later that night I met her boyfriend and watched him hit her in the face and deny rubbing up on these 2 slutty girls despite everybody seeing it happen

This girl loves this guy more than anything else in the world and their 7 month anniversary just passed, with him waiting "only" until the last minute to make plans with her after saying he didn't know if he even was going to.

I want this girl badly. She knows how I feel about her boyfriend and I was the one by her side calming her down all night after that incident I mentioned. She says its unfortunate how strongly she feels towards him, and any ounce of affection he shows to her gets multiplied by 100 in her mind because he is such a dick.

I've been texting her a bit lately and talking to her on MSN (she's not on much) and she thinks I'm hilarious and wants to party with me and dye my hair too.

Finally my question: wtf do I do to get him out of the damn picture?

Badmouthing him barely works on her, she forgives him for all he does, even though I question his feelings for her I know he's the type of guy that would fight and fight and fight not to lose his girlfriend to another guy.

I am just afraid all I can do right now is play the part of the faithful friend, doing everything thats best for her and quietly waiting until they explode as a couple and seperate. I've been given advice already to just say fuck it and tell her how I feel but I'm afraid if I tell her on MSN/phone she won't wanna chill later and if I tell her in person I'm pretty sure her B/F would be there.

To be honest I don't expect miraculous advice here and I'm bracing myself for generic comments telling me to beat his ass in or sit her down and tell her how I feel. I guess 80% of this post is me venting and 20% is me reaching out for advice.

Got any? :(

You know he's not the one for you but that's no fault of mine.
He knows that I'm a friend of yours but doesn't know I've crossed the line.
I know you've got a man in the picture but it hasn't stopped me yet.
We've all been in one situation or another we regret.

Now I'm the other man, no one's rootin for me.

Keep being her friend. Alway be there for her. She will dump him eventually. He hit her- start edging her over to the idea that this is "spousal abuse" in it's earliest form (it is!). His "rubbing up" to the slutty girls is an indication of his future faithfulness. Wait for a low point (after a bad argument, his cheating, etc.), then tell her how you feel, how she deserves a better man and that you want to be that man! If her BF is as you describe him, it won't be long until the relationship is in crisis. Good luck! And treat her like a queen! - Granny

WUT U DO IS:

KEEP TALKIN 2 HER N GET HER 2 LIKE U....WEN U DO GET HER 2 LIKE U, U TELL HER THAT HER BF IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND SHE DESERVES BETTER BLAH BLAH BLAH. THEN MAKE HER THINK OF HOW HE TREATS HER LIKE SHIT AND STUFF AND TELL HER SHE SHOULDNT BE WITH HIM AND THENNN LET HER SLEEP ON IT(ITS BEST IF U TOLD HER THIS AT NITE) AND WEN UR DONE TELLIN HER THAT TELL HER UR GONNA GO TO SLEEP.....THE KEY OF THIS CONVO WITH HER IS 2 GET HER REALL EMOTIONAL LIKE CRYING EMOTIONAL....WAIT A DAY OR 2 THEN TELL HER HOW U FEEL AND TELL HER WUT U CULD GIVE HER THAT HER BF CANT AND SEE WUT HAPPENS

Wouldn't it be easier just to have the guy wacked?lol

First things first, set your friendship in stone
(maybe a YELLOW rose to signify friendship?)

"If you've fallen, get up slow to avoid a "headrush"-me

I know these may sound like pretty lame words of wisdom, just trust me.

Yanno, I know how she feels right now. I've been there, I know the feeling after you get hit, I know the feeling after seeing your man up on some other girl's shit and I know the feeling of loving them to death even though both of those things had just happened.

What I would have wanted ANYONE to do for me when that shit happened to me, would be to be a genuine person, honestly care, honestly want my well being and not just some ass. You gotta stay her friend, whether it be because you want her or because she needs you (she may not know this yet but she does). She's in an abusive relationship and she's in the abused mindset and right now, she's not gonna dump him YET but the femi-nazi will come out (every chick has it) and she'll realize that he's not worth her time but YOU are. Just do sweet little things that'll get a smile and some reassurance that she doesn't deserve that crap from her BOY.

you're not just the "other man", and we're rooting for you, hon!

id grab that asshole by the throat and tell him to leave her or id break his kneecaps with a hammer.

i cant stand guys who treat women badly... and i especially cant stand guys who hit women.. it just gets me really pissed off.

so personally i think you should beat him. (obviously u shouldn't do that if u want the girl though) but i do think you need to warn him about hittin her at least.

maybe you could get her some information from a local domestic abuse center. Maybe try and get her to call the cops the next time he hits her. Good luck

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bluntblaze

id grab that asshole by the throat and tell him to leave her or id break his kneecaps with a hammer.

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As much as I'm not really into violence, this would be the perfect time to make sure you're ready for action, just in case. WTF. But watch yourself, ladies don't always appreciate their knight riding in on a white horse as much as said knight expects them to. Unless she has made it clear that it IS your business, stay the fuck out of it. You really need to sit her down and have a long talk with her and get some straight answers.

That fucking asshole probably got whupped on too much by his daddy and has to get all dominant on women to make him feel like a man.

What a tool. I bet he has a small dick too.

Doesn't this chick have any brothers who look out for her?

thanks for teh advice everyone, it's tumbling around in my brain now like a washing machine and hopefully when the cycle stops nothing will be wrinkled hahaha

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BabyFacedAbortion

Yanno, I know how she feels right now. I've been there, I know the feeling after you get hit, I know the feeling after seeing your man up on some other girl's shit and I know the feeling of loving them to death even though both of those things had just happened.

What I would have wanted ANYONE to do for me when that shit happened to me, would be to be a genuine person, honestly care, honestly want my well being and not just some ass. You gotta stay her friend, whether it be because you want her or because she needs you (she may not know this yet but she does). She's in an abusive relationship and she's in the abused mindset and right now, she's not gonna dump him YET but the femi-nazi will come out (every chick has it) and she'll realize that he's not worth her time but YOU are. Just do sweet little things that'll get a smile and some reassurance that she doesn't deserve that crap from her BOY.

you're not just the "other man", and we're rooting for you, hon!

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i was secretly hoping someone in the same situation would reply. when I took care of her it was genuine, honest, not about ass at all. so I passed that test. the thing though is that she is a sucker for him and I seriously doubt that she'll stop running back to his arms especially now since apparently they are "better than ever" *puke*.

What kind of sweet things should I do to make her smile? I'm pretty good at doing this since it's all I seem to do but maybe hearing some more suggestions from you would help me a bit further.

this is the closest thing i've ever had to "love at first sight"...i can't screw this up :\


EDIT: stinkyattic, that night it did sort of become my business because for a bit she had me spy on him for her to see what he was up to. the thing though is once that punch landed everyone went straight for him and nobody seemed to notice her crying on the curb so i sat next to her and brought her back to earth.