i'm pretty much a clueless dork and need some advice.

hello... i've already kind of looked around and done some research and answered some of my own questions, but theres still some stuff i'm confused about and i'm hoping that someone might be able to help me out. :) my questions are kind of long, and i have a few of them, but i'll try to break it down here so i don't have make a million posts. this is going to be long.. i'm sorry in advance.. but i'm just trying to be as detailed as possible to hopefully make my questions easier to answer. so:

1) i'm in the process of applying for a teaching position (public school in FL) and have to take a drug test. does anyone have any idea what kind of drug test this might be (just urine, or hair, or something else?). It's a part of the application to take the test and i have to pay for it. its about $20 so i'm assuming its just a urine test and not anything else too high tech... but we all know its never a good idea to assume.... i just want to have an idea of what its going to be so i know how long i should wait and how to prepare myself.

2) on that note: i don't know how long this is going to take to get out of my system. basically, i'm somewhat small. 5' 3", 125 1bs, and i'm not a frequent smoker at all. in the last two months i've smoke on about 5 occasions, and before that i hadn't smoked for a whole year ago, and then it was just once, and before that one time it had been like 4 years since i had smoked. okay. so... i've smoked about 5 times, each time very lightly, taking only a couple hits and not usually very big ones. most recently was 4 days ago, and i intend for that to be my last, at least until the testing is out of the way. additionaly i have been exposed to second hand smoke on a few more occasions while i myself wasn't smoking, enclosed in small rooms and cars. does that have any effect on a drug test and can it be given as an excuse if something comes up positive? basically i'm confused because most info i found about detoxing is for people who are really heavy smokers, but as you can see i'm definitly not. realistically speaking how long should i wait to take the test?

3) about detoxing and all that stuff... i already drink a lot of water, i mean A LOT... i go through several quarts of water every day, and i also drink a lot of green tea for dieting purposes (speeds up metabolism) and detox teas, and i pee like a thousand times a day (clear everytime), and i eat a lot of detox foods because i have digestive problems and am an occasional binge drinker so i do all this to keep myself healthy. should i be doing anything else to detox from weed? i'm not very active right now. should i start running everyday? (i intend to anyway because i need to lose a few pounds, but is it going to make a difference for clearing up my system of the weed?)... also.. if i do already drink so much water will that be suspicious on the drug test? is it a valid excuse to say that its just part of my lifestyle and the way i eat?

4) last question! i've read on a couple different threads that home testing is a good way to gauge when you're ready for a real test... what is the most reliable at home test i can take? like, what brand should i look for if i want to pick one up just at my local pharmacy (i'm not familiar with any head shops in my area so i don't want to have to go looking there..)

okay... yeah... that was long... sorry about that... basically i have to take the test whenever i decide to apply. so i'm obviously going to wait until i know i'm good because i fail it i won't be allowed to teach in this state for 3 years. which would defeat the purpose of everything i've done in my life up to this point. but also, the sooner i can apply and start working (school starts in about 4 weeks) the better.

thanks in advance for any advice you can give.:thumbsup:

1) Probably a urine test. You would probably fail a hair test (3 times in 90 days and you can fail) but you aren't much over that so it could be possible to beat since you aren't that big of a user. If it is a hair test we'll talk about Zydot and such later.

2) Nice thorough history. I would say that you should be able to pass without dilution in a few days, 5-10. I am guessing those 5 times were spaced out about a week or more apart? Only way to be sure is to use the home test.

3) Detoxing from MJ, come one let's not treat it like a posion! Lots of water useless unless it is the day of the test. I have seen claims about green tea and metabolism but I have never seen proof. If it did indeed speed up metabolism, yes it would be useful. Aerobic exercise is useful. That is about it.

4) I don't know about brands I have never seen a Consumer Reports review of home drugs tests. I think they are all created about equal but I'm sure there is one really bad brand out there. I never recommend any specific brand. Save some money and order them online since you have some time. You can buy several for the price of one in the store.

I order my thc tests through ebay,about $1.20 each.I usually buy 10 at a time.
I would say you're in pretty good shape.I'm a big guy 6'2" 280 lbs and I smoke once a week.I test myself daily and usually by day 4 I'm clean.
Just follow the 3 main rules drink fluids the day of the test,piss a couple times before the test and always take the middle of the piss stream,
Good Luck

Wow, great advice to order the home tests online... I've been paying $14.99 a pop for them at Walgreens!! :eek:

I won't offer any advice as I don't have nearly the knowledge of many here, but I will say that in only being on this forum for about a week or so now I have been VERY VERY impressed! These are knowledgeable and professional people, so you've come to a great spot for help! :thumbsup:

Good luck with your test, it's very cool you have 'infinite' time to make sure you're 100% legit.