I'm the victim of a new disease: ringtonengitious

Ever since I realized "How stupid am I to pay a dime for ringtones when I have the internet?" and bought a data cable for my Sony Ericsson z520a cell phone, I haven't been able to stop making ringtones.

Never mind that no one calls me anymore because I can't even hear my phone at work for ten plus hours a day and really *am* to busy/dirty/psychcologically unstable to answer it anyway.

Or the fact that I'm to busy to answer the thing because I'm laughing my ass off listening - one of my closest and chattiest cell-phoniest buddies (I'm gonna copyright that adjective) has alternately had "deedee dee deedee dee deedee dee, ala Carlos Mencia, and now has "Dueling Banjoes" for a ringtone, for multiple reasons, which makes it even funnier. Another buddy has Dennis Leary's "I'm an Asshole".

The wife has variously been given the intro to "Jambi" (Tool), "C is for Cookie" (Cookie Monster - he don't care about other letters), "Screw You Guys, I'm Goin' Home" - (Cartman) and now currently is recognized by Pachebel - Canon in D Major (Mozart), which I also use as a wake up alarm in contrast to the former "Take This Job and Shove It" Office Space remix.

Her crappy Razor can get 'tones via bluetooth from mine, but not send or share them apparently, and she's way not compulsive disorder enough to buy a data cable. So I'm happily downloading/converting Disney type stuff - Cruella De Ville is for two of her aunts, Tigger's song for another, Under the Sea for a cousin. These are on my cell phone, just so I can play them for no reason. DISNEY SONGS. Someone help me.

The most insidious part of this disease is that I feel the need to infect other people, which will eventually have the effect of cool ringtones falling into the hands of stupid people, creating a surge in cell phonieitis talkus maximus disease. Thus distracting bank tellers, cashiers, medical personne, police officers, and others forced to deal with the public at large who are generally retarded enough already. Civilization will fall under the storm of noise. You have been warned.

So grab a copy of Audacity, an excellant freeware program, and start wowing that potential life mate by giving her a perfectly cut Ronettes "Be my Baby" ringtone and make sure all her friends know it!

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(cough cough wheeze click - downloading...)