How do you let go of the past?

Well when i was 12 i was kicked out of the house due to mothers boyfriend. Lived with all different kinds of people growing up and ended up at home here with gma. I guess im just curious to know what all you ladies have been through. i find myself connecting well with other girls who have had worse backgrounds, Why is this?

I have Anger issues, and depression. I have been fighting to figure out a way to let go of all the pain inside me. I have taken medications that only made me feel dull. I have seen many many shrinks and not one have i felt comfortable talking to. I have actually forced myself to talk to a shrink and i still saw no results. When i smoke weed i feel i become a whole different person but that only last while the high last. How do you let the past go? move on, forgive and forget. If i could master this, my life would be so much better. I have asked this question many times in hope to find someone who can let me know.. But i already know girls its up to me to find a way to let go.. I feel so lost from myself..

I have anger issues from my parents' divorce.
It took a long time before I really thought honestly about it and started seeing a therapist. That was a great decision- she wasn't the first one I'd been to- you have to find a therapist who suits your personality- it's kinda like dating!- otherwise you are wasting your time.
As for letting go of the past, I try to learn something new- a skill or some geeky thing even- every year sort of forcing myself to become a little different person than the year before, so the past doesn't mean so much.
When you feel like you have outgrown your past- the way a lobstah sheds its shell- you can just walk away and look at it like, "huh, that used to be me? Well then."
And keep on walkin'.

iv just come to realize how to let go, to just except the hurt in the moment but leave it their. it happen its over move on. I have been doing this, and i have also written letters to let everything out, and i have cried the pain out also. I feel so much better. more energy, im happy, i love to be around my own family, And im seeing life for what it should be. Beautiful ! I hope i can make this last, if so i have a feeling my life will become a lot better...

thnx stinky

Congrats you feel so much better letting all the pain out and overcoming your problems wihin your self. It's hard and time consuming but it makes you that much more of a beautiful woman. In the sense of knowing your self and loving yourself and I hope I'm not over stepping my boundries on this one. Cheers and I wish you many more months of happiness and joy. :thumbsup:

BlazinIt...In many ways, I can relate. I too have done the shrink route <a bust>, and forget the drugs, ya just don't feel anything.

One thing you don't mention, is your age. I has made some aspects easier to accept as I've aged. I'll be 28 this month.

Ok, processes that have seemed to work well for me are really quite basic. Go ahead and feel your feelings. As powerful as they are, embrace them, and the power of those feelings. That power is 'you': you own it. Every time you confront your feelings face to face, the 'power' of them is diminished just a little. Every time we give in to those feelings, they remain powerful.

Start thinking about forgiving; just as a notion right now. Look at forgiveness from different angles. Visualize it. Attempt to feel it. You don't have to tell someone they're forgiven, to feel it in your heart. and after all, that's where your hurt is.

Keep writing about your experiences, how you feel about them -- what it might look like if your early life had been as you would have wanted it to be. Write, write, write. Just remember to be completely honest with yourself in this project.

Learn a form of meditation that works for you. I use a kind of hybrid of transcendental meditation. It sounds simple to do, but takes focus and practice. Putting our thoughts and emotions at rest for thirty min or so, is an incredible state. Absolutely no thoughts what so ever. A blank slate.

Lastly, because 'damaged' developement/emotions are 'what we know', we have to relearn or re-parent ourselves. Our personal definitions of 'love,' 'truth' and 'trust' have been learned improperly. We were taught improperly. The two sources I continue to use today are books. If you read them, trust them.

'Road less Traveled' by Scott Peek, and 'Getting the love you want', Harvel Hendricks. they've been my roadmaps to redevelopment.

Hope this helps, and good luck girl...B

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Originally Posted by brussels

BlazinIt...In many ways, I can relate. I too have done the shrink route <a bust>, and forget the drugs, ya just don't feel anything.

One thing you don't mention, is your age. I has made some aspects easier to accept as I've aged. I'll be 28 this month.

Ok, processes that have seemed to work well for me are really quite basic. Go ahead and feel your feelings. As powerful as they are, embrace them, and the power of those feelings. That power is 'you': you own it. Every time you confront your feelings face to face, the 'power' of them is diminished just a little. Every time we give in to those feelings, they remain powerful.

Start thinking about forgiving; just as a notion right now. Look at forgiveness from different angles. Visualize it. Attempt to feel it. You don't have to tell someone they're forgiven, to feel it in your heart. and after all, that's where your hurt is.

Keep writing about your experiences, how you feel about them -- what it might look like if your early life had been as you would have wanted it to be. Write, write, write. Just remember to be completely honest with yourself in this project.

Learn a form of meditation that works for you. I use a kind of hybrid of transcendental meditation. It sounds simple to do, but takes focus and practice. Putting our thoughts and emotions at rest for thirty min or so, is an incredible state. Absolutely no thoughts what so ever. A blank slate.

Lastly, because 'damaged' developement/emotions are 'what we know', we have to relearn or re-parent ourselves. Our personal definitions of 'love,' 'truth' and 'trust' have been learned improperly. We were taught improperly. The two sources I continue to use today are books. If you read them, trust them.

'Road less Traveled' by Scott Peek, and 'Getting the love you want', Harvel Hendricks. they've been my roadmaps to redevelopment.

Hope this helps, and good luck girl...B

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I think I am in love with you... ? :wtf:

But you are right, all I can think of to add is that I wasnt happy with myself until I learned to love myself and let go of regrets. Not necissarily forgetting about the past, but more the blame aspect of it. It doesnt matter whose fault it was, because it cannot be changed. All that can happen now is an acceptance that everything happens for a reason and our trials only strengthen us.



BlazinIt you are a beautiful person, I hope this happiness lasts and only increases with each passing day! I know that once I was able to love myself, I finally fell into the kind of catch-22 I wanted.. an upward spiral as opposed to a downward. Stay high and stay fly baby!

how do i let go of the past... i don't have a choice, and i have realized this... and this sort of nostalgia, even if over a bad moment in the past, is so self destructive, and a waste of energy... i try to learn my lessons, and see what the past has shown me, and i just move on... because i have no choice, my life has transcended past those moments or events, and i can never go back and recreate them... like you said... you see your old shell, and think, wow that was me. i just constantly try to better myself ya know, and moving past trauma or history is something you have to do, to acheive this.

i usually take a drive into the country by myself (and a doobie usually) or go for a hike... and kind of deal with my issue, stir it up, analyze it, and pack it away where it belongs... giving it the credit it deserves, but not power

btw i don't know