Longing

Let me preface this with the following: The past few years for me have been a series of extreme highs, extreme lows, and periods of feeling nothing at all. As of this past month, I've been finally feeling 'normal' again, as in I experience emotions mostly normally.

That being said, I apologize if the length on this becomes too much for anyone.

Last summer was the last time period I recall as feeling 'normal'. The highlights I remember from it are of new experiences: As summer had just started, I had time to go out and stay out late with friends. At the time, I was hanging out with two of my coworkers (at the time) who were, as we all are, interested in cannabis. We had smoked maybe once or twice a month during the past school year (my senior year at the time) and had really formed a close, three-person smoking group.

They were a lot more popular than me, so I found myself travelling with them to places around my area (a northern suburb of Cincinnati), even going as far as Northern Kentucky at 1 in the morning. Was it risky? A little, but I'm a good driver and I had my van at the time, which basically was a free ticket to get away with minor things :jointsmile: (I've only ran a stop sign once, in front of the cop after my first time eating brownies ><). I found myself smoking with people I never met before, and while not all of them were my ideal smoking companions, the novelty of the experiences made it worth it. I got to smoke out of a bong for the first time, and meet a great new dealer who sold me some very psychadelic weed for a couple months.

Anyways, that time is long past, but as I now am transitioning into summer, I find myself once again longing for those sort of unique, novel experiences. I hear songs I was listening to last year (especially "Steady as she goes" by The Raconteurs, which was all over the radios at the time) and I get this... heavy feeling in my heart. Not like, sadness or some silly over-sensitive crap, just a drive to go out and experience things. Lately I've found I'm able to sit outside and night and take in the beauty of nature for a few minutes, it feels kinda like that.

So, I guess, does anyone relate to this at all? I'm just tryin to take it all in and understand what this is I feel, so I figured sharing it might help despite the fact it's bordering on scarily-emotional for a male. I was gonna go out late and smoke Saturday night, but decided against it because my new car is more suspicious and it's Memorial Weekend. I'm goin tomorrow night though so I hope that is a good experience.

i know exactly how u feel. iu sed to have a 3 person group were everyday we'd blaze. its down to 2 of us now. at least u have memories.

I know the feeling of really happy memories.....

You can hear that one song that you listened to alot and start getting this gut feeling.

I know 100% what you're saying.

I'm sure everyone has had a feeling like that, i hear songs that remind me of last summer too, badd times and for sure the best times of my life




[]Deace:jointsmile:

I know that feeling very well. I got it before school was even out. I call it the itch and I think its the only itch that you should scratch.

Good to see other people could relate :jointsmile:

I went out with my friends monday night, it was a good time, got to smoke and drink with them (hadn't done either in months). I agree, it is an itch to scratch.

i long for a street life again, soon im back to visit my dad in NY. Gunna have a nice time there.