Weed expands my interests. I understand the concept of learned behavior, of different neural pathways forming for a new concept of self and beleif. As soon as I pick up any type of text about anything I found boring before, usually becuase of technicality, but leading to no ability to imagine, Now I can leap across that gap and understand ANYTHING, and as soon as I start to think for myself about how you can manipulate it and apply to the even more expanded mind, I take deep interest, and it stays with me when I become sober, as well as all the learned technicalities, only I need merely to refresh to bring them to the forefront of my mind.
This is absolutely incredible. The amount of power a psychonaut can weild when in such a deep enthralling state of mind is just... stunning. It's frightening, as well, but the mind isn't so frightened as to shy away, merely to hesitate and pull back until giving in. Weed has so much more to it than a daily pick up... It's takes me a week or two to have the kind of weederapy I can have on a no-tolerance high. And a no-tolerance high is easier to remember in the verbal forefront, especially, if, you.... write it down. :D
I have to share with you guys, YOU NEED TO RESEARCH self-programming.
Normal "stoners" don't do enough research on their activities, and then expect to be completely blown away with enlightenment.
There are WAYS. You can take your world into your hands, to challenge the foundations of beleif that make-up your personality, perspectives, anything.
Once these foundations start to give way in the psychedelic power, you continue on to learn about yourself, the ways you tick and nature vs nuture,
what part of yourself you find the most painful to be, or dislike, or even to enhance the foundations you already replaced. Sometimes different perspectives have MUCH to offer, and before questioning them even deeper you can delve into them, delve deeper into the "pudding", as our friend Ken Kesey said.
Today was a new expirience in other areas as well.
I beleive that when you smoke marijuana on a daily basis,
you start to train your mind to associate weed with mood pick-up.
The mind doesn't want you to feel pain, at least the parts besides yourself(therapeutically). So it reacts with it's learned behavior to seek out positive stimuli if you are optimistic, or negative stimuli to confirm your pessimistic views, which ultimately promote the same ego-defensive pain properties as optimism only in more disguised unhealthy ways.
I felt crappy a day ago after reaction awkwardly to something, I just couldn't shake it, so I mindlessly sort of decided to play the skate park card and see if I could score. There was an older guy there and It looked suspicious, but I came back around (on a bike) and asked anyways, and he answered immediately, confirming my suspicion.
Today, I decided to get my step-mom flowers when I went to pick up guitar strings, and as I'm riding by the skate park the tiniest of the kids surrounding the older guy called out. I ignored him so as not to make a scene and let him come to me at the cross walk, with a skateboard. I buy a tensack and as I'm a lonely kid decide to smoke with them. Turns out that was a teacher the other day, but since I don't go to any school, no harm no foul :) .
I can't wait till college. Imean, yeah It's fun to connect with people and laugh w/e but there are such incredible levels of thought to explore..
I guess sometimes some lessons have to learned through tears...
Meditate on the negative, a revelation of stress healing once you reach a core, leading to much stronger willpower to assume a new beleif that replaces the one you are so fed up with, that causes so much pain.
My father is emotionally void, categorically happy, a computer of pain that is never dealt with, a closed mind so repressed by it's guilt and sorrow and witherings of abuse that he cannot deal with anything inside of himself without first pushing all emotion out through his ears. But at least his booze and girl keep him happy. He is a good man.
Summary: smoke weed weed is good.
