the truth about JFK

Dallas, November 22nd, 1963

John Fitzgerald Kennedy, was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald

Or so we have been led to believe, The JFK Assassination is actually one of the largest conspiracies in history. The True Story went a little more like this.

The CIA and the FBI, in conjunction with NASA and under the supervision of the CocaCola company, combined their intelligence and discovered an intriguing fact. President Kennedy, who was of Irish Decent, was not actually a real presidential candidate. He was in reality the town drunk in a small town in Ireland, he was drinking in the local pub one day and noticed and attractive little woman. Due to the amount of liquor he had consumed he failed to notice that this woman was in fact a Leprechaun, he bought her a few drinks, they spoke a bit, the he took her to his place.

There she was handcuffed to the bed, at her own insistence, after a few minutes of passionless passion, John started thinking about his life and wished aloud that he was President of the United States, the Leprechaun female who was still in restraints, had no choice but to grant him his wish.

He suddenly found himself in the White House bedroom, sober and with a tiny (and unattractive) bearded leprechaun female chained to the bed, so president Kennedy (who's real name was originally Seamus O'Brien before the leprechaun gave him a fake past to cover up the truth), decided to wish that the leprechaun woman (who's name was Marilyn), was taller, blond and had nicer breasts, the wish came true, Marilyn decided, because she finally had the potential to look attractive, she would shave her beard. She also decided to start acting, and to draw attention away from the White house scandal and the President she gave herself a fake past as well.

Along with the fake past President Kennedy received he was also given a family, wife, kids, the whole works, and a spiffy new American accent.

When the CIA, FBI, NASA and CocaCola put all this information together they realized something needed to be done, to teach Leprechauns and the Irish a lesson. So CocaCola sent their best operatives to assassinate the president. However they had two problems, firstly they had nowhere near enough funds for an operation of this magnitude, luckily enough for them they were able to find a company willing to invest money in order to promote their line of womans hats (A Marketing Stunt, Jacqueline Bouvier was unaware at the time that the pillbox hat she was wearing was in fact the instrument of her own husbands undoing). The second problem they faced was that the CocaCola Company knew, if the truth was ever revealed, their sales would go down 0.05%, they needed a plan, they needed a scapegoat.

There was only one person they could've picked, the only person in all the world who was able to expose the whole conspiracy, that person was Lee Harvey Oswald, who was in fact the real President of the United States of America, before Seamus wished himself into office. He was their scapegoat and thats why he was shot immediately after he was arrested.

Marilyn was also taken care of in a separate operation.

Since then the CocaCola Company (or "The Company" for short) has been controlling every major decision made by America, to increase their own profits.

come on, its possible

they laughed at columbus when he said the world was round

my god man at least make up something that can be believed,

well this could be believed...... by people who happen to be very gullible, very stupid, or kids who have not yet learned that leprechauns do not exist

i also addressed a very important issue, the female leprechaun, how come no ones ever heard of one?

also, i think it is very believable that the JFK assassination was a publicity stunt to sell womans hats

i also plan to have a story about the Lindberg baby, Amelia Earhart (the two could be connected), the moon landing and Atlantis and maybe 9/11, if i can think of a respectful way to do it, if not then ill just keep my mouth shut on that matter.....

they had a pretty good article about this in this months rolling stone