ha ha evil labcorp

So, I just took my test, and my heart is still racing. I used substitution, a buddy of mine pissed in a water bottle, and left it in his sink which was full of hot water. I practiced all morning with a non lubricated condom. I found the best spot was inside my left armpit, in fact, I was doing stuff around the house, and almost forgot it was there. No tape, nothing, easy access. In case you were wondering, Im right handed, hence the left armpit. So... onward, I go to my friends house, and pull the piss out of the sink. I thoroughly rinsed both sides of the condom, and poured the contents of the bottle into it. I put a hoodie on over my tshirt, which was really tight by the way. Half way to the testing center, I stopped, and tested the temp. 97.2... cool. I get there, and there was one person working. She dropped the bomb on me... "please take off your hoodie. I thought for sure I was fucked, but I managed to keep the condom squeezed under my armpit while I took off the hoodie. Keep in mind, Im wearing a plain white undershirt. I thought I was a goner, but nervous small talk kept things from getting weird. So I go into the bathroom, and cut the top of the condom open with a small... SMALL pair of scissors, and dumped it into the cup. I didnt cut a large enough hole, and it was coming out really slow, meanwhile, I actually pissed in the toilet. My hands were shaking badly, I was so nervous. Anyhow, the temp said 96. something and she marked it off as being in the right range. So, there you have it.... substitution can be easy, just do what I did, and dont wear a hoodie. Wear a tight white undershirt, and some regular tshirt over it. fill the condom half full with urine, and keep it under your armpit, not the side you write with. Victory!!!!