First Timer, Need lots of info!

Before i begin, i just wanna say i have a very low vocabulary so please just use very basic words. i want to start an indoor grow, i just wanna grow 1 or 2 plants, and i wanna use floresent lights. here are my questions and any help would be great...

1) How long will the total amount of time be from when i plant the seeds, to when i dry the plant?

2) How many times should i water the plant a day?

3) What brand of soil should i get from home-depot?

4) How long should the plants grow before i put them to dry?

5) If i put em to dry early... will they still contain the same amount of THC?

6) I always see the cone plant, but wat do i acually smoke after everything is dried? (any pics would help)
...ill explain what i mean by the #6 question, when the plant grows it looks great, but wat is acually cut and put to dry? What part do you acually smoke from?

***I no this is alot and i probably sound like a moron, but any help would really well, help. Thanks!

ude i would answer your questions if you first explain how you know how to use flouro's but you don't know what part "to smoke from" ...because i am not about to tell some narc how to grow and i don't think that anybody else should. word. that shit doesn't amke sense and if you are being honest well i don't know what to tell you aftrer that thing you said because it doesn't jive really.

1) If you're talking from germinating to ready to smoke (taking into account the curing process) average time is about 4-6 months, all depends on the strain and how big you want your plants.
2) Depends on the temperature of your room. Normally 2 - 3 times a week depending on how dry the top layer of soil is, some people can even tell by their plants weight (from wet to dry) to know when to water. Better to underwater than to drown your plants though.
3) I'm from the UK and I've heard positive reports about Bio-Bizz soil and nutes, but if you're in the States I'm not sure what to recommend.
4) As before, depends how big you want them. Some people like to grow to 12 inches of veg growth (18/6 or permanent 24 light) before switching to flowering (12 hours of light, 12 darkness). It takes a few months anyway...
5) If you've harvested before your plant has had the chance to fully release it's THC potential then no. Looking at the trichomes (the small white crystals) indicates when your plant is ready. Some people chop when they are amber, others go for milky white depending on the type of high/stone they want.
6) You want to be smoking the buds. If you look at a cannabis plant and strip it of it's leaves, the hairy pistol clusters at node regions - those are your buds. However, save your trim (leaves, etc) because you can make hash/hash oil/butter from these.

Invest in a good grow book dude, because as the previous guy pointed out if you don't know what part of the plant to smoke you're nowhere near ready to grow yet. I haven't even grown any cannabis myself yet but I was able to tell you the above info just from reading some literature. (Experience growers if I've misinformed anything in my post please feel free to correct me..) :)

Jive! Great word!

thanks alot for all the help asesino, ill get a book and learn alot more about it, thanks for clarifying and helping me out alot. im just so sick of paying for overpriced buds that are def. not worth the money. thanks again

one more question asesino...
what book is very simple and easy to understand with pictures?
(i just read that and im now relizing wat a dam stoner i am..haha)

George cervantes (sp?) grow bible is easy as hell and will work fine, these forums also can be your grow info source.

thanks for all the help, youve been amazing! may life bless you with all the cannibas money can buy!

The Cannabis Grow Bible by Greg Green is also worth checking out :cool:

I've got the Greg Green PDF myself. Useful and easy to understand.