A dating question

[silasbotwin]

At what point in the relationship is it okay for the guy to not pay for everything?
what you think?

[Frivolous248]

The beginning!

[M1K3]

When you get married

[Breukelen advocaat]

At what point in the relationship is it okay for the guy to not pay for everything?
what you think?

After the first time you have sex.

[Breukelen advocaat]

When you get married
Don't lie to the kid. You pay MORE after marriage, and it never ends. :thumbsup:

[M1K3]

Just kidding. It depends on her. Usually after two or three dates

[silasbotwin]

hahahaha

[M1K3]

Don't lie to the kid. You pay MORE after marriage, and it never ends. :thumbsup:

LOL

[Samwhore]

if you ask her out, you pay,
if she asks you out, she pays

[Skink]

dutch treat all the way!!!

[ericwt]

I don't think you should pay for anything until she earns it.

[originalblu]

^^ haha

[Skink]

that just sounds like your buying a whore... If she had a clue of what you were doing she would hold out forever...

[someuser]

At what point in the relationship is it okay for the guy to not pay for everything?
what you think?

My opinion:

If you ask her out, the first date is -your- total responsibility.

If she asks you out, I say dutch.


After that it depends. I usually will still pick up dinner and the 'basics' for the next few dates but I will begin to expect -her- to start offering to atleast pick up a few expenses here or there... Like buy me a drink at dinner or offer to pay for the 'refreshments' at the movies if I buy the tickets... Maybe buy me something small here or there while we are together or as a gift when I see her... Eventually treat me to a few dinners or even overall dates herself.

I dont have a black & white rule or anything like that, you just got to read the situation and girl... I'm pretty good when it comes to reading people's body language and other small clues... If I start picking up on the 'gold digging' vibe or the vibe that I'm just being taken advantage of for paying for a 'fun time' then I end things pretty quick...

I wont lower myself as a man though to ask her when it comes to money. I think nothing screams LOSER more then a man bitching, whinning, or asking about money on a date with a girl.

[MOBABN]

damn this thread made me depressed, i paid for all the essentials for two years with my ex :(... she was half cuban half asain :thumbsup: :) :D ;)

[silasbotwin]

she was half cuban half asain :thumbsup: :) :D ;)

i saw one of those on MTV's sweet sixteen show.

[azure]

50/50 if shes not puddle shallow

[Reefer Rogue]

The beginning!

yep

[napolitana869]

goodness my boyfriend still pays for most things when we go out (unless its for his birthday or something). I get him stuff when we go to the store though. It doesnt equal out but he makes a lot more than me (I make 6.65 for 10 hours a week and he works full time at a really good job) so I dont feel bad. Girls have the ability to make up for that in other ways.

[muncheemama]

NEVER....she'll pay you back....heheheheee

[someuser]

goodness my boyfriend still pays for most things when we go out (unless its for his birthday or something). I get him stuff when we go to the store though. It doesnt equal out but he makes a lot more than me (I make 6.65 for 10 hours a week and he works full time at a really good job) so I dont feel bad. Girls have the ability to make up for that in other ways.

I dont date girls who arent financially able to pull their weight anymore *but* I did date girls in financial situations like napolitana869 in my younger yrs. So long as she atleast made an effort that counted for a lot... Just so long as the effort just didnt consist of 'sex payments'. Sex is a given and is just as much for her benefit as mine but if she did small thoughtful things (like write me little love notes, be really sweet and cheer me up if I had a shitty day, maybe write me a poem or draw me something) and made an effort to do what she could for me money wise (like the occasional b-day dinner, maybe surprise me with some cold beer in the frig, shit like that) I would call the 'deal' fair.

Anyhow, I forget how young a lot of you guys/girls are here... I'm sure the standards are a little different in yall's teens. However at my age (28yrs) I expect my date to have a REAL goddamn job and make atleast 25k a year or that is just a deal breaker. Daddy dont like free-loaders :jointsmile:

[gabee42ee]

never

[dutch.lover]

If a guy asks me out on a date, I would definitely expect him to pay...however depending on the situation I would offer to chip. Like if he bought movie tix I would offer to buy the snacks. In general I like things to be 50/50, because I don't like to feel indebted and I also like to be generous as opposed to being a mooch. This doesn't go for every girl tho...in high school, this guy paid for everything when him and his gf went out. Also, every month she expected a dozen roses for their anniversary. EVERY MONTH. They dated for a long time....over 2 years I think, so this wasn't a new-relationship-excitement kinda thing. That's just freakish in my opinion. If my bf wanted to buy me a dozen roses every month, so be it. But I couldnt imagine DEMANDING that kinda thing. Maybe im too nice. haha jk.

[stinkyattic]

A girl should make an effort to chip in.
Any chick that goes out on a date without the cash in hand to cover her own meal has 'golddigger potential' and 'I can't wait to get divorced so I can take your house' written all over her.
I agree with the dutchlover version of going to the movies! You buy tix, I buy snacks (which seems to actually cost MORE these days, wtf!). Or dinner, you get dinner, I'll take us out for cocktails after.
I don't think that feeling indebted is healthy, ESPECIALLY early in a relationship where it might contribute to feeling pressured to do da durrty too early in the dating thing.
I'm really used to pulling my weight, and even paying for boyfriends' shit too (yeah... gotta love being stuck with the tab for a weekend ski vacation, and a boyfriend who complained the whole time!).
I'm trying to get used to how things are normally- my man is definitely old-school when it comes to going out to dinner- and I've told him a couple times that as much as I LOVE being treated like a princess, I still feel kind of weird about it, because I'm NOT a princess, I'm a 29 year old professional with a mortgage and a dented Volkswagen. I'm fiercely independent when it comes to handling my own business and I expect my man to recognize that I CAN afford to pay for dinner, because I bust my ass to earn that ability!

[drgreenthumb1238]

Stinky I have to agree, having gone with girls who were students I'm used to paying all the time. Though its nice to feel you're "treating" your s.o I kinda think it loses its glow after 18months of doing it. I have more respect for a girl if she wants to pay or gets the drinks afterwards or the taxi. It makes me beleive she's interested in me for me and doesn't see me as a big pound sign!

[stinkyattic]

I have more respect for a girl if she wants to pay or gets the drinks afterwards or the taxi. It makes me beleive she's interested in me for me and doesn't see me as a big pound sign!
Bingo.
If I don't even make an effort to chip in on a date, you can be fairly sure I'm not going to call you back, because I just don't give a crap, and I'm not diggin' the conversation or something.

[drgreenthumb1238]

I guess it's something you do when you're young or to try and impressed, and although I'm not old I want to date an independant woman, who doesn't "need" me but rather she "wants" me. Then again I've been single for quite a while now, so what do I know!?!

[Cyclonite]

Iv been paying for most stuff for years...I make 2x her income though and have 1/2 the bills (she pays all her crap)

[stinkyattic]

Then again I've been single for quite a while now, so what do I know!?!it's the necktie. :jointsmile:

[drgreenthumb1238]

Bah!I haven't even worn that tie out lol!You jsu wait til I post pics with the other ones on...you'll eat my hat!!

[stinkyattic]

No way! I'm not eating your hat! You need it to keep your bangs flat! hee hee!

[drgreenthumb1238]

You will eat it and like it lol!If I'm feeling kind I might season it first of all :p and wax-mousse stuff keeps my hair flat, don't you worry!Mwuhaha!

[stinkyattic]

Mm mm what's on the menu this afternoon?

Lightly waxed hat of greenthumb with a tangy ginger-lime dressing.

What do you suggest as a wine pairing with this delicacy?

Uh oh official thread hijack!

[cannabis=freedom]

I'd say maybe after the first couple dates. But be gracious about it. Don't be "HERE'S THE BILL, BITCH!!!"

Yeah, I've been dumped for that. Very sad.

[drgreenthumb1238]

I would say a nice rose to go with that kind of feast then followed by a nice doob! I ain't being a waiter here though...chef only :p

[stinkyattic]

Naw I don't drink fucking pink wine, blech, even if my date is paying for it. I'd rather have a nice glass of fryolator crud.

[drgreenthumb1238]

Lol!Nice way of getting back on topic I like it :p if ya didn't want rose then maybe a dry white wine would complement hat?

[stinkyattic]

yeah, that works.
you paying?

[drgreenthumb1238]

Seein as it's you...jus this once mind :p!lol!

[cannabis=freedom]

Whoa. I've been with my girlfriend for 7 months, and I've been paying for EVERYTHING

(Nelson voice): Ha-ha!

[stinkyattic]

(Nelson voice): Ha-ha!omg i just cracked up.
ha-ha!

shaitan, you need to play a prank on your girlfriend.

Call her up and tell her very seriously that you just quit your job to take an unpaid internship doing whatever it is you do... it's a great opportunity, blah blah blah. But it means things are gonna be really tight and you won't be able to do the same things you used to do, but would she like to go take a nice long starlit walk tonight with some hot cocoa and a fattie?

See how she reacts. Excited? Supportive? Meh? Upset?

Actually don't do that- I'd be pissed and probably dump you if I thought I was being tested. But it wouldn't hurt to suggest alternate FREE entertainment just to make sure she's down with the simpler shit too.

[BabyFacedAbortion]

I pay for my boyfriend a lot when he's over my house but when I'm over his, he pays for me.

There are times when it's switched and there are sometimes a few weeks when I pay for him all the time or he pays for me.

In my relationship, money really doesn't matter...we're both broke.

[the yeag]

A girl should make an effort to chip in.
Any chick that goes out on a date without the cash in hand to cover her own meal has 'golddigger potential' and 'I can't wait to get divorced so I can take your house' written all over her.
I agree with the dutchlover version of going to the movies! You buy tix, I buy snacks (which seems to actually cost MORE these days, wtf!). Or dinner, you get dinner, I'll take us out for cocktails after.
I don't think that feeling indebted is healthy, ESPECIALLY early in a relationship where it might contribute to feeling pressured to do da durrty too early in the dating thing.
I'm really used to pulling my weight, and even paying for boyfriends' shit too (yeah... gotta love being stuck with the tab for a weekend ski vacation, and a boyfriend who complained the whole time!).
I'm trying to get used to how things are normally- my man is definitely old-school when it comes to going out to dinner- and I've told him a couple times that as much as I LOVE being treated like a princess, I still feel kind of weird about it, because I'm NOT a princess, I'm a 29 year old professional with a mortgage and a dented Volkswagen. I'm fiercely independent when it comes to handling my own business and I expect my man to recognize that I CAN afford to pay for dinner, because I bust my ass to earn that ability!


alright babe I'll send a bill over to your secretary. i expect to be paid in full in thirty or i am adding on late fees......recognize that girly!!!!!