annoying 'will i pass' questionnaire

[halfassedjediknight]

im keeping this as short n sweet as possible. i hate repetitive threads.

im 5'11, about 160-170 lbs, not fat at all. very frequent smoker, although i quit smoking valentines day (feb. 14th, if you dont know). its now the 11th of march.

i drink a lot of tea and water and coffee daily, not out of cleansing myself, but habit. i love coffee and its essential to my waking up early and going to work. otherwise, i drink energy drinks instead. they have tons of niacin and b vitamins anyways.

i run or jog everyday, do situps and pushups. i do sweat a lot from that. otherwise from all the liquids i consume, i piss like crazy.

the only reason im doing this is pretty much like almost everyone else..i need a new job and have an interview this tuesday (the 13th) for a pretty decent job that i know for a fact drug tests.

am i wrong in thinking i should be fine passing a urinalysis? or am i beeing to optimistic?

im not wasting my money on a detox drink. i can get the same results from dillution and b vitamins for urine coloration. i dont even know how soon after my interview they will test me, so hopefully its not right away. any extra 'detox time' is fine by me.

i know this is only my second post, so it may seem i only joined the forum for some information about 'will i pass or fail', but to be quite honest i used to post here almost every day about a year ago. so spare me the 'n00b!' comments! haha, seriously though, stoners gotta get a long.

ps i miss the green leaf. :( and its only been about a month.

[budsmoker only]

i think that it takes around 30 days to get out of your system... but i have just heard that and dont know the actual truth, what i would if i were you is go to a store and buy a home drug test kit or somethin like that and see wat that has to say... also just keep up what your doing.. and good luck "noob".. haha j/k..

[halfassedjediknight]

i think that it takes around 30 days to get out of your system... but i have just heard that and dont know the actual truth, what i would if i were you is go to a store and buy a home drug test kit or somethin like that and see wat that has to say... also just keep up what your doing.. and good luck "noob".. haha j/k..



ahhhh im not a noob! hahaha im kidding.

yeah i get paid thursday, 2 days after my interview, so i figure ill buy a test then because all my moneys going into the nazi petroleum companies for gas. 3 bucks a gallon jeeeeeesus!

but the home tests range from only like 5-20 bucks in drug stores so thats what i plan on doing.

im a very pessimistic person so im already anticipating pissing a big puddle of thc metabolites, but we'll just have to wait n see i guess.

but i like to be optimistic and hope for the best. :dance:

[FakeBoobsRule]

i run or jog everyday, do situps and pushups. i do sweat a lot from that. otherwise from all the liquids i consume, i piss like crazy.

Lots of fluids days before the test isn't going to clean you out. Once fully hydrated, you cannot improve kidney function by drinking and drinking. THC isn't water soluble either. It isn't the sweating from the exercise that is helpful, it is fat burning from aerobic exercise. Stop exercising 3-5 days before the test. Use that home test and test the first void of the day, that is the dirtiest. If you pass that, you will have a good chance of passing the real test.

[budsmoker only]

another thing, when you take the test make sure the piss you get in the cup is during the middle, not the beginning...

[halfassedjediknight]

Lots of fluids days before the test isn't going to clean you out. Once fully hydrated, you cannot improve kidney function by drinking and drinking. THC isn't water soluble either. It isn't the sweating from the exercise that is helpful, it is fat burning from aerobic exercise. Stop exercising 3-5 days before the test. Use that home test and test the first void of the day, that is the dirtiest. If you pass that, you will have a good chance of passing the real test.


well, i work out in the morning, and not to sound rude..but if you really knew about exercise youd know that during your sleep period you burn all the carbs you have for the energy your body needs to properly function while under the blanket of sleep. therefore, you wake up with no carbohydrates to burn for energy, so if you work out right when you wake up, you burn pure fat for energy. 300% more than any other time of the day if im not mistaken. that is what i do, and therefore, i am burning plenty of fat and sweating toxins, no?

maybe i should have mentioned my workout schedule before i posted this so i dont sound like such a dick now. sorry if i offended.

[halfassedjediknight]

another thing, when you take the test make sure the piss you get in the cup is during the middle, not the beginning...

i know this too, its called 'midstream'. ive had urinalysis' before.

thanks for the tip though! much appreciated. :thumbsup:

[FakeBoobsRule]

well, i work out in the morning, and not to sound rude..but if you really knew about exercise
Trust me, I have forgotten more about the human body than you probably will know about the human body. You will see in a second why the sweat is not important and why many will tell you to stop working out 3-5 days before the test.

youd know that during your sleep period you burn all the carbs you have for the energy your body needs to properly function while under the blanket of sleep. therefore, you wake up with no carbohydrates to burn for energy, so if you work out right when you wake up, you burn pure fat for energy. 300% more than any other time of the day if im not mistaken. that is what i do, and therefore, i am burning plenty of fat and sweating toxins, no?

maybe i should have mentioned my workout schedule before i posted this so i dont sound like such a dick now. sorry if i offended.
THC is fat soluble and your body constantly is turning over fat cells and burning the THC metabolites out of these fat stores. Aerobic exercise or a proper weight lifting regiment will increase this turnover of fat cells and thus help eliminate THC metabolites more quickly from your body. The fat cells release the THC metabolites, the THC metabolites enter the bloodstream, the kidneys and liver remove these metabolites, and some of these metabolites end up in urine (kidneys), some in your feces (liver). You will increase the THC metabolites in the urine but the length of time you test dirty after you stop smoking will decrease. If you exercise the day before your test, these extra metabolites you are eliminating through increased exercise will end up in the specimen cup. If you stop 3-5 days before the test, you will not be eliminating THC metabolites through your urine at a higher rate and these extra metabolites will not end up in the cup. It has nothing to do with your carbs or glycogen stores or energy level. If you have not been able to clean your body completely of the THC, then you want the rate at which THC metabolites are eliminated through your urine to be as low as possible when you pee in the cup. Get it? Maximize your workouts all you want by exercising in the morning or for 5 hours a day, I could care less. But you should stop exercising 3-5 days before the test.

Very little THC metabolites are excreted through sweat. Working up a sweat either through exercise or sitting in a hot car or sauna has not been shown to help get you clean quicker. Yes you sweat when you have a good workout but the goal is increasing fat cell turnover, not creating big wet stains in the pits of your shirt.

[halfassedjediknight]

Trust me, I have forgotten more about the human body than you probably will know about the human body. You will see in a second why the sweat is not important and why many will tell you to stop working out 3-5 days before the test.

THC is fat soluble and your body constantly is turning over fat cells and burning the THC metabolites out of these fat stores. Aerobic exercise or a proper weight lifting regiment will increase this turnover of fat cells and thus help eliminate THC metabolites more quickly from your body. The fat cells release the THC metabolites, the THC metabolites enter the bloodstream, the kidneys and liver remove these metabolites, and some of these metabolites end up in urine (kidneys), some in your feces (liver). You will increase the THC metabolites in the urine but the length of time you test dirty after you stop smoking will decrease. If you exercise the day before your test, these extra metabolites you are eliminating through increased exercise will end up in the specimen cup. If you stop 3-5 days before the test, you will not be eliminating THC metabolites through your urine at a higher rate and these extra metabolites will not end up in the cup. It has nothing to do with your carbs or glycogen stores or energy level. If you have not been able to clean your body completely of the THC, then you want the rate at which THC metabolites are eliminated through your urine to be as low as possible when you pee in the cup. Get it? Maximize your workouts all you want by exercising in the morning or for 5 hours a day, I could care less. But you should stop exercising 3-5 days before the test.

Very little THC metabolites are excreted through sweat. Working up a sweat either through exercise or sitting in a hot car or sauna has not been shown to help get you clean quicker. Yes you sweat when you have a good workout but the goal is increasing fat cell turnover, not creating big wet stains in the pits of your shirt.

did you miss my point? i never disagreed on stopping my exercise 3-5 days before my test.

all i said was you burn more fat in the morning.

[FakeBoobsRule]

did you miss my point? i never disagreed on stopping my exercise 3-5 days before my test.

all i said was you burn more fat in the morning.
Well I never said anything about what time of day you should exercise yet you found it necessary to tell me that I don't know anything about exercise. Plus you went back to sweating out toxins.

[halfassedjediknight]

Well I never said anything about what time of day you should exercise yet you found it necessary to tell me that I don't know anything about exercise. Plus you went back to sweating out toxins.

i was only pointing out the fact that you burn more when you have less carbohydrates in your body. am i wrong in thinking if you burn pure fat then you must be burning what is also held inside fatty tissue? because if im wrong there then please tell me what im missing.

maybe 'sweating out toxins' was improper termonology on my part. i should have said eliminating or something? i dunno.

im only using theory here from what i know about the bodys metabolism and effect from proper fat burning technique. i figured if youre burning more fat youre burning more of whatever may be inside fat. it just seems more logical to me i guess.

[halfassedjediknight]

besides you said it yourself that its the fat burning that helps the cleansing of toxins from your body, specifically speaking, thc.

[FakeBoobsRule]

Of course the more fat you burn the more THC metabolites you will burn and one way to accomplish this is by burning fat in the most effective way possible. The goal of my post was not to tell you what time of day to exercise but that if you are unable to completely eliminate 100% of the THC metabolites in your body, then you want to slow the rate at which metabolites are deposited in the urine. One way is by stopping exercise and getting lazy 3-5 days before the test. Since most home tests have a threshold of 50 ng/ml, you could pass a home test but not be 100% THC free. This is the same threshhold most labs use. There is a test that will detect 1 ng/ml but it is rarely used. So unless you have access to this test to know that you are THC free, the advice I was giving was to stop exercise 3-5 days before the test. In rare cases you could be very close to the threshold say 45 ng/ml but if you went and worked out right before the test, there is a possiblity of dumping some extra metabolites in your urine from a hard workout and then maybe go up to 55 ng/ml and fail. Then you tried to make a totally different point but it was obscured by the fact that you started off your post with a little slam about "if you knew anything about exercise." Maybe had that not be written we would have been on the same page a few posts ago.

Now, I think we are on the same page again and if you have been exercising in the morning and not eating 6,000 calories a day, then you have probably maximized your fat burning potential. Good luck!

[FakeBoobsRule]

besides you said it yourself that its the fat burning that helps the cleansing of toxins from your body, specifically speaking, thc.

Sweating out toxins is very different from urinating THC metabolites. I also never used the term "cleansing of toxins" because that is inaccurate. Too many people believe you can use a "detox" program or drink to help get rid of THC from the body so I try to use the term "eliminate" because so people literally think you can wash your body out and get clean!

[halfassedjediknight]

Of course the more fat you burn the more THC metabolites you will burn and one way to accomplish this is by burning fat in the most effective way possible. The goal of my post was not to tell you what time of day to exercise but that if you are unable to completely eliminate 100% of the THC metabolites in your body, then you want to slow the rate at which metabolites are deposited in the urine. One way is by stopping exercise and getting lazy 3-5 days before the test. Since most home tests have a threshold of 50 ng/ml, you could pass a home test but not be 100% THC free. This is the same threshhold most labs use. There is a test that will detect 1 ng/ml but it is rarely used. So unless you have access to this test to know that you are THC free, the advice I was giving was to stop exercise 3-5 days before the test. In rare cases you could be very close to the threshold say 45 ng/ml but if you went and worked out right before the test, there is a possiblity of dumping some extra metabolites in your urine from a hard workout and then maybe go up to 55 ng/ml and fail. Then you tried to make a totally different point but it was obscured by the fact that you started off your post with a little slam about "if you knew anything about exercise." Maybe had that not be written we would have been on the same page a few posts ago.

Now, I think we are on the same page again and if you have been exercising in the morning and not eating 6,000 calories a day, then you have probably maximized your fat burning potential. Good luck!

this is just a battle of ego, wits, and so-called knowledge and neither of us will win.

you have a relevant point and so do i. so i will agree that we are now on the same page.

ill also go ahead and apoligize for the remark about a lack of knowledge of exercise. i was just throwing out a somewhat non-well known fact in hopes of maybe you understanding what i meant. i always work out in the mornings to burn fat and tone after lunch because this keeps your metabolism running at maximum levels. i play hockey so i have to keep in good shape, so i try to keep my bmi at the minimal level so i can mess people up on the ice haha!

but seriously i didnt mean to turn it into a big ego debate, i just wanted to put out my theory that if youre burning more fat youre burning more metabolites.

also i never debated youre advice on stopping my exercise regiment 5 days before the test. i dont even have a test date yet, so i will not quit exercising as scheduled because i still have to keep up my bodys full potential. until i have a certain date, i will ascertain a timeframe where i will stop exercising and eat a ton like a pig to mask what trace levels of thc are in my body.

no hard feelings! i hope you feel the same.

[FakeBoobsRule]

no hard feelings! i hope you feel the same.
Right on, like I said I think we are one the same page now. You should get a home test. If you pass with a first void of the day that will be the dirtiest and most accurate. If you pass that and you even have a few more days from passing that test until the real test, then you will be in good shape. Peace out!

[halfassedjediknight]

Right on, like I said I think we are one the same page now. You should get a home test. If you pass with a first void of the day that will be the dirtiest and most accurate. If you pass that and you even have a few more days from passing that test until the real test, then you will be in good shape. Peace out!


yeah thats already my plan.

although i know my first void wont be the one that goes into that cup the day of the test. it will be my fourth or fifth. but a great way to know for damn sure.

[dawninthemorning]

Now that the "pissing" contest is over, buy some fake pee.

[halfassedjediknight]

Now that the "pissing" contest is over, buy some fake pee.

then whats the point of my quitting smoking for a whole month already? pointless.

i dont wanna mess with that substitution anyways. i dont wanna worry about any of that stuff. i aint buying no whizzinator either.

if i absolutely had to do anything, i would go with dillution.

but im not.