More Conversations With My 5 Year Old

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

Day before yesterday: "Mom, for my birthday, will you get me the Girls Gone Wild video?"

Now, the child has a normal bedtime. Where she saw this commercial, I don't know. But now you know why we call her The Incipient Lesbian Stripper (not within earshot). She is also referred to as "The Little Old Lady in a Child's Body", and "a celestial being having an Earthly experience".

Today: "Mom, isn't it funny how your children are white and you're brown?"

Me: "Um, yeah, that is kinda funny how that turned out."

For some reason my kids look nothing like me. They both took after their Norwegian/German father. One blonde w/green eyes and curly hair, and one light brown with blue eyes and straight hair. Both very fair skinned etc. I guess his genes trumped mine.

To know exactly why talking to the little one cracks me up so much, you'd have to hear her. She sounds like Elmer Fudd. chiwdwen, bwown, giwls gone wiyud.

[Fengzi]

Talking to little ones is great. It can make you crazy at first but once you get used to it you really start to appeciate it and engoy it. The stuff that comes out of my 3yo little girl cracks me up

"Boys have balls where they go peepee"

"Grandma has thin skin because she's so old"

etc. etc.

One funny thing about her is that whenever she gets mad she speaks in Chinese. Usually it's a mix of about 60%English/40% Chinese depending on who she's talking to but when she get's pissed it's 100% Chinese no matter what. To make matters worse, if she's mad at me, she insists I speak Chinese too. This, of course, has led to time in the "time-out" chair. But it's one of those things that make her mother and me laugh when she's not looking.

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

Talking to little ones is great. It can make you crazy at first but once you get used to it you really start to appeciate it and engoy it. The stuff that comes out of my 3yo little girl cracks me up

"Boys have balls where they go peepee"

"Grandma has thin skin because she's so old"

etc. etc.

One funny thing about her is that whenever she gets mad she speaks in Chinese. Usually it's a mix of about 60%English/40% Chinese depending on who she's talking to but when she get's pissed it's 100% Chinese no matter what. To make matters worse, if she's mad at me, she insists I speak Chinese too. This, of course, has led to time in the "time-out" chair. But it's one of those things that make her mother and me laugh when she's not looking.
AHAHAHHAA! That's funnier 'n hell. I thought Elmer Fuddish was confusing. A combo of Chinese and English, delivered by a pissed off 3 year old has got to be hard to follow.

And does she frequently blurt out interesting things in front of company i.e. Grandma?

[birdgirl73]

One funny thing about her is that whenever she gets mad she speaks in Chinese. Usually it's a mix of about 60%English/40% Chinese depending on who she's talking to but when she get's pissed it's 100% Chinese no matter what.
I love this and would love to witness it. Wonder if she learned that technique from Ricky Ricardo? That was how it always went with him, too, only of course it was Spanish in his case. "Mira que cosa . . . !!!!"

[Samwhore]

are you going to get her the video for her b-day?

[TallulahGreen]

Talking to little ones is great. It can make you crazy at first but once you get used to it you really start to appeciate it and engoy it. The stuff that comes out of my 3yo little girl cracks me up

"Boys have balls where they go peepee"

"Grandma has thin skin because she's so old"

etc. etc.

One funny thing about her is that whenever she gets mad she speaks in Chinese. Usually it's a mix of about 60%English/40% Chinese depending on who she's talking to but when she get's pissed it's 100% Chinese no matter what. To make matters worse, if she's mad at me, she insists I speak Chinese too. This, of course, has led to time in the "time-out" chair. But it's one of those things that make her mother and me laugh when she's not looking.



haha...thats funny. My dad married a chinese woman and she has a 12 year old daughter...and whenever they start to fight they just start talking in chinese...
..it's so amazing how quick the fight is over when it's in chinese.

I always wonder what her mom said, because her daughter will sometimes get the scardest look on her face and just stop immediatly.

They crack me up hahhaha.

[TheAtomicPunk]

haha I know what you mean! My 6 year old bro says the weirdest thing. His teacher said a little girl was falling asleep in class and laid her head on his shoulder and he said "What do I look like, a bed!?". I play games with him like Mario Kart all the time and I let him win by waiting at the finish line, and he's always like "YEA I BEAT YOU YOU SUCK" or "It's okay to get 2nd place" but if he loses he cries nonstop. I had him saying "BALLA'N" for a month I almost die laughing everytime.

[Samwhore]

haha I know what you mean! My 6 year old bro says the weirdest thing. His teacher said a little girl was falling asleep in class and laid her head on his shoulder and he said "What do I look like, a bed!?". I play games with him like Mario Kart all the time and I let him win by waiting at the finish line, and he's always like "YEA I BEAT YOU YOU SUCK" or "It's okay to get 2nd place" but if he loses he cries nonstop. I had him saying "BALLA'N" for a month I almost die laughing everytime.

LOL, that story about you and him at the mall?

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

are you going to get her the video for her b-day? I told her I'd get it for her 18th birthday.
She said "YAY! Can I have a popsicle now?"

[gabee42ee]

awww hahaha it reminds me of this paper from kindergarden that in my baby book .... it was a series of question like whats your fav color ... pink then lucky number 8 ... then it was what do you want to be when you grow up ... i had said stripper, which ithink wuld stilll be fun, but idk about at 5

[Pipe Dreams]

Hah, my best friends 6 year old brother says "pimpin aint easy"

and he calls his older sister a fat whore

[gabee42ee]

Hah, my best friends 6 year old brother says "pimpin aint easy"

and he calls his older sister a fat whore

ahahaha

[1chronic]

I told her I'd get it for her 18th birthday.
She said "YAY! Can I have a popsicle now?"

Ahahaha, you see that's why I love that age, 20 minutes later they forgot you agreed to something. My sister is way to old for that now, she remembers everything. So that game doesn't work for me anymore.

I used to love it when she would call my neighbor "Gorge" instead of George because she wasn't able to say it.

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

Hah, my best friends 6 year old brother says "pimpin aint easy"

and he calls his older sister a fat whore
Okay, now see, I don't find that funny. He's learning that disrespect for women from somewhere. That shit needs to be nipped in the bud. His innocence has been taken away.