Swingers thread

[Gatekeeper777]

OK,
Have you ever been curious about swinging, swapping and the various forms of sharing ones self for PURE carnal pleasure and breaking the social taboo?
Alot of people do but are in the closet about it.
Its a choice thats NOT for the jelouse or faint hearted.
All I ask is look at it with an open mind and please dont flame and I will answer each question with an honest answer. My answer may not be the only answer as people do things for differant reasons.
:hippy: :pimp:

[kindprincess]

thank you for moving this out of demeter's thread. i'm no swinger, as a matter of fact i'm single. just thought i'd give you props of respect...

[Gatekeeper777]

thank you for moving this out of demeter's thread. i'm no swinger, as a matter of fact i'm single. just thought i'd give you props of respect...
I did not mean to high jack the thread. basically demeter asked for help and i made a suggestion. thats all. :) BTW there are single swingers to. lol
i was not sure where to put this, so since i have experiance maybe it goes here or maybe in sexuality..
There seems to be alot of misconceptions about it just as there are about MJ so let the questions fly and I will answer from my own experiances.
Gate

[DroKing]

We need to start a pothead swinger's club!!

[kindprincess]

hmmm, yep this should go in sexuality. want me to ask to have it moved?

and, i know you weren't hijacking; but the topic was starting to overwhelm the real issue. once more, thanx :)

[Gatekeeper777]

hmmm, yep this should go in sexuality. want me to ask to have it moved?

and, i know you weren't hijacking; but the topic was starting to overwhelm the real issue. once more, thanx :)
No prob, if you all feel thats where it belongs then please have it moved.
I try not to judge others please dont judge me. If you are interested in what got my wife and I into it then I will be glad to answer your questions.

[kindprincess]

i'll put a word out.

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

posting to remind myself to post LOL!

[NewbiePacker]

It's all fun and games until one gets a sick dick, or worse yet the fuckin HIV...

Stick to one partner.....Guys and Gals...


OK,
Have you ever been curious about swinging, swapping and the various forms of sharing ones self for PURE carnal pleasure and breaking the social taboo?
Alot of people do but are in the closet about it.
Its a choice thats NOT for the jelouse or faint hearted.
All I ask is look at it with an open mind and please dont flame and I will answer each question with an honest answer. My answer may not be the only answer as people do things for differant reasons.
:hippy: :pimp:

[Gatekeeper777]

It's all fun and games until one gets a sick dick, or worse yet the fuckin HIV...

Stick to one partner.....Guys and Gals...

Yes, i agree its not a choice to be entered into lightly especially for vanilla lifestyle fans.

[NewbiePacker]

Been there done that...

[akfa]

ive wanted to, but my gf/x gf i guess u could say, was always very jealous so we never got to that point. i wanted to try to let her be with other guys too but she would always talk the talk, never walk the walk. i think itsa great thing for trusting relationships.

[Gatekeeper777]

One thing some people have is jelousy issues. we dont own each other. but we allow one another to explore our hottest deepest sexual desires. and if done SAFELY and with agreement of all parties then I see nothing wrong.
I care about my wife DEEPLY and wnat to let her experiance life and NOT be stuck in a humm drum life. We sometimes forget that and fall into a rut. To some people it is a real turn on to see their pasrtner getting pleasured by another woman or man or 2. The combinations are endless as are the games and scenarios. We have met politicians to school teachers to PTA moms. lol
you would be surprised. you are only limited to your imagination and inhibitions.
Some people feel like they will loose their partner for a better piece of ass. Well that can happen but is very rare. its just SEX nothing else. and its not like most people will hop into bed without getting to know ya first.
but thats always usually the main goal.

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

Okay, I finished running my errands for the day, and now I can settle in for an educational conversation.
I'm still trying to figure out the point of being married if you're going to fuck other people. What is there in your relationship that's special and unique just for you two to share and you alone? Why bother getting married? Why not just date, or live together?

And I don't understand the term "it's just sex." Sex is powerful. Whether people like it or not, when people have sex, they share a part of themselves, a part that they can't get back.

I love sex. When I was single, I fucked everything that wasn't nailed down. But when I made a conscious decision to be with one person, I stuck by it.

Let me tell you a story...
When my fiance and I were early in our dating, we discussed swinging. We signed up on a website, exchanged e-mails with a couple of folks, but it never got off the ground. You know why? We finally had a talk about it, and discovered that neither one of us wanted to do it, because the thought of seeing the other one with someone else was too painful. This made us realize we had fallen in love with one another. The swinging discussion was put to bed (pardon the pun) right then. For us, multiple partners is something that happens when you're not in love with someone. But once we fell in love with each other, we had no desire to be with anyone else. As far as I'm concerned, another man is not fit to shine my shoes, much less put his dick in me.

And before you dismiss me as "vanilla", let me say that he and I do things that make some of our swinger friends look at us in shock (and sometimes disgust:D ). The difference is, we only do them with each other.

[Gatekeeper777]

hmmmmmmm,
I guess I have no jeolosy, I desire to see my significant other happy. No man or woman is created equal. I would hate to limit my wife to the "same ol same ol" or she would hate to limit me because she is afraid to try it.

My wife is very Bi, so should I make her surpress her bi side because she is married to me? To me thats like making a person deny who they are. So i let her explore her sexuality and we share in it and belive it or not it brings us closer together because we better understand what we want and who we are.
If you asked your husband about it would he object? If he asked you about it would you object?
I also think your mixing sex with love. sex is sex just without the love. My wife and i do make LOVE. but we also have some fanfuckingtasic sex.
Sex is powerful and sex can be used as a tool, it can be used against someone to control them and can enslave them. One should NEVER use sex to overpower another.
To say that I must not love my wife because I let her fuck another woman or another man is false and WAY off the mark, I do love my wife with all my heart I love her enough to let her experiance life and her own sexuality and I am comfortable enough to know that at the end of the night when the adventure is over she will be leaving with me. If you love someone let them go, if they love you they will come back.
My wife is NOT my property she is free to make her own choices. This makes her happy as she knows she can confide in me about anything, including things taboo.

[Jack the Tripper]

I've never been in a serious enough relationship to have any idea what swinging would be like, although I suspect I'd be all for it.

I have a different view of sex than most people. Casual sex, I think of as something that can be friendly. The same way you might hug someone to comfort them, you could have sex with them for fun. The same kind of person I'd enjoy watching a movie with, I'd enjoy making out with. I have a few friends that are also like this, they seem to spawn from friendships in which there is a mutual sexual attraction but no feelings deeper than friendly. I like to think of this as the "hippie" look at sex, especially because so many people might call me a "whore" lol

um,

I just realized, I'm pretty blazed, so that maybe doesnt make much sense. Maybe I'll come back and look at it once sobre

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

What does being bi have to do with it? I'm also bi. I've had at least 3 serious relationships with women, and numerous casual and not so casual dating and sex experiences with women. But I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything by being faithful to my fiance. If I was in love with a woman, I wouldn't sleep with anyone but her either. My thing is, if I'm in love, I don't even want to sleep with someone else. Sure I see people that I think are attractive, but I never feel a twinge or a regret, like I'm missing out on something. I literally don't have the faintest desire to be with someone else. The very thought leaves me cold. I don't feel limited at all. If anything, I feel more free than I did before we met. We have such intimacy that I feel I can do, say, or be anything and any way around him.

And I never said you didn't love your wife. I said that when we (Papi and I) fell in love, the idea of swinging didn't hold any appeal for us.

And one question I keep asking, that other people I've asked haven't answered either is: What is it that makes the relationship between you and your wife special? Is there something that you guys have/do that you don't have/do with anyone else in the world that makes your relationship unique? If you two are sharing the most intimate bond with others, then what bonds you two together so closely that it merits taking marriage vows? (I think the concept behind this question is hard to express in text. I'll keep trying.) Like, what makes you, you?


I also think your mixing sex with love. Well I certainly hope I am, since I am going to be taking vows to love this man the rest of my life. Our relationship is such that, even when he ties me up, pulls my hair, and calls me a dirty slut, it's still lovemaking. :D


If you asked your husband about it would he object? If he asked you about it would you object?
I stated in my previous post that when we were relatively early in our relationship (about 4 months into it), we discussed swinging. Then, as it became apparent we weren't going to actually do any swinging, we had a discussion about it. It turned out that neither one of us wanted to do it, but we were each afraid of disappointing the other one, so we didn't say anything about it to each other. It was at this point that we professed our love to one another, and became strictly monogamous. Hell, two weeks prior to that, one of his female friends went down on me following a night of partying. When we had the "i don't wanna try swinging" "neither do i" "i'm in love with you" "i'm in love with you too" discussion, he confessed that his feelings were really hurt when I let that girl eat me, but that he didn't want to hold me back if I really wanted to be with other people. So then, I confessed to him that I felt like I had betrayed my own heart and feelings for him by being with someone else.

So see, when I'm in love with someone, I don't want to be with anyone else, so I can't quite wrap my brain around why someone would want to.

Whew. That was like writing a book!

[Jack the Tripper]

:hippy: Greenjeans was all my joy...
Greenjeans was my delight...
Greenjeans was my heart of gold...

:stoned: :jointsmile:

[thCA livin]

Everything in this world is perceived different when it comes to people.

I don't know who said this, but it's actually a decent quote.
"True Love doesnt have a happy ending, Because true love never ends. Letting go is a way of saying I Love You"
-Unknown

[Gatekeeper777]

I dont think my wife and I have anything special that most couple dont have.
I just have the desire to let her be happy.
you say you dont have the least bit of a twinge to be with someone else?
thats nice and very special but not normal. Most people look but not touch.
Most people that do look think about touching and those that think about touching dwell apon it and play out several senarios in their minds eye.
And some of those people even still go ahead and touch with or without permission from their significant other. pollygamy is nothing new.
i know 3 sets of married couples that live in the same house hold. All 3 couples are childless by choice. and they all sleep together.
the wife of one may sleep wherever she feels like.
I call it a CUM UNE. lol
but anyhow, the bond that hold us together is that we care enough about each other to let ourseloves explore life and ALL it has to offer and not be afraid of change, we are not possesive of one another. BTW we did not take the traditional vows of marrage that was santified by the church. Since we BOTH dont belive in a GOD we made up our own vows. God was not in them.
So even tho i let her get shagged by men and she lets me shag the ladies we still are not breaking OUR vows we Made on our special day, and our marrage works for us and our style of living.

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

I'm pagan, so my vows are not following Christian guidelines either.

But in your case, why get married at all then? Marriage has a lot of negative points. If I could get the benefits of marriage without the negatives, I'd be all for it.

So what does marriage mean to people who don't do the things normally expected in marriage, such as fidelity? Why did you two get married in the first place? Most married people go into marriage with the expectation (although we know the reality is often very different) that the spouses will be monogamous. Marriage is also (probably first and foremost) a business arrangement, a joining of independent corporations, if you will.

So, since ensuring fidelity was not the reason, what was your reason for proposing, and hers for accepting? Or vice versa, I'm aware that not all proposals are initiated by the male.

And while I'm thinking about initiation, whose idea was it for y'all to start swinging, yours or hers?

[JeenYuss]

hmmmmmmm,
I guess I have no jeolosy, I desire to see my significant other happy. No man or woman is created equal. I would hate to limit my wife to the "same ol same ol" or she would hate to limit me because she is afraid to try it.

My wife is very Bi, so should I make her surpress her bi side because she is married to me? To me thats like making a person deny who they are. So i let her explore her sexuality and we share in it and belive it or not it brings us closer together because we better understand what we want and who we are.
If you asked your husband about it would he object? If he asked you about it would you object?
I also think your mixing sex with love. sex is sex just without the love. My wife and i do make LOVE. but we also have some fanfuckingtasic sex.
Sex is powerful and sex can be used as a tool, it can be used against someone to control them and can enslave them. One should NEVER use sex to overpower another.
To say that I must not love my wife because I let her fuck another woman or another man is false and WAY off the mark, I do love my wife with all my heart I love her enough to let her experiance life and her own sexuality and I am comfortable enough to know that at the end of the night when the adventure is over she will be leaving with me. If you love someone let them go, if they love you they will come back.
My wife is NOT my property she is free to make her own choices. This makes her happy as she knows she can confide in me about anything, including things taboo.

my gf/soon wife is bi too an we have a pretty open relationship like we can go fuck other ppl or w/e but for some reason its just like we dont WANT to:confused: its like we dont even find pleasure if f*ckin sum1 else

[JeenYuss]

What does being bi have to do with it? I'm also bi. I've had at least 3 serious relationships with women, and numerous casual and not so casual dating and sex experiences with women. But I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything by being faithful to my fiance. If I was in love with a woman, I wouldn't sleep with anyone but her either. My thing is, if I'm in love, I don't even want to sleep with someone else. Sure I see people that I think are attractive, but I never feel a twinge or a regret, like I'm missing out on something. I literally don't have the faintest desire to be with someone else. The very thought leaves me cold. I don't feel limited at all. If anything, I feel more free than I did before we met. We have such intimacy that I feel I can do, say, or be anything and any way around him.

And I never said you didn't love your wife. I said that when we (Papi and I) fell in love, the idea of swinging didn't hold any appeal for us.

And one question I keep asking, that other people I've asked haven't answered either is: What is it that makes the relationship between you and your wife special? Is there something that you guys have/do that you don't have/do with anyone else in the world that makes your relationship unique? If you two are sharing the most intimate bond with others, then what bonds you two together so closely that it merits taking marriage vows? (I think the concept behind this question is hard to express in text. I'll keep trying.) Like, what makes you, you?

Well I certainly hope I am, since I am going to be taking vows to love this man the rest of my life. Our relationship is such that, even when he ties me up, pulls my hair, and calls me a dirty slut, it's still lovemaking. :D

I stated in my previous post that when we were relatively early in our relationship (about 4 months into it), we discussed swinging. Then, as it became apparent we weren't going to actually do any swinging, we had a discussion about it. It turned out that neither one of us wanted to do it, but we were each afraid of disappointing the other one, so we didn't say anything about it to each other. It was at this point that we professed our love to one another, and became strictly monogamous. Hell, two weeks prior to that, one of his female friends went down on me following a night of partying. When we had the "i don't wanna try swinging" "neither do i" "i'm in love with you" "i'm in love with you too" discussion, he confessed that his feelings were really hurt when I let that girl eat me, but that he didn't want to hold me back if I really wanted to be with other people. So then, I confessed to him that I felt like I had betrayed my own heart and feelings for him by being with someone else.

So see, when I'm in love with someone, I don't want to be with anyone else, so I can't quite wrap my brain around why someone would want to.

Whew. That was like writing a book!

agreed

[slipknotpsycho]

meh i know me... i can get REALLY jealous... i'd probably end up putting a hatchet in some dudes head :p

not to mention i have really strong morals... and i just couldn't consciencly do that...

i'm not putting you down for it tho... everyone has a difrent thought process.. and as i said in the other thread, i know the reasoning behind it...

[Gatekeeper777]

I view marrage as a contract. its just a piece of paper stating that you will abide by what you say. lots of people get married without love, there are many reasons people marry........... money just to name one.
altho i am not a rich man. I married my wife for a contractual comitment.
granted our contract may have a shady fine print but non the less we are commited to each other in lifes little turns and we WILL make each other happy as long as we both shall live. Death is forever so make the little time you have here count.
blessed be!!

[kiwi]

:rastasmoke: I beleive in eAch to there own. If a couple has enough trust and security in their relationship then why the hell not swing??? Yes there are risks of STDs etc but most ppl involved with swinging are more than aware of this and they keep it safe.:thumbsup:

[Gatekeeper777]

swingers usually have a close knit group of "FRIENDS" and yes we are more aware then most of the consiquences of our actions.

[vileoxidation]

I view marrage as a contract. its just a piece of paper stating that you will abide by what you say. lots of people get married without love, there are many reasons people marry........... money just to name one.

I don't understand how people view marriage as "just a piece of paper". Yes, it is a contract, but it is more than just a physical contract. It is also an emotional contract between the two people, and this emotional contract is one of the most important that people will ever enter into their entire lives.

Additionally, I want my partner to be happy too, and he wants me to be happy. And there are times that I look at men and lust intensely after them, but I do not need to be with them. It would not make me any happier to fuck someone else then it would to fuck my partner, and it would in fact make me happiest to just spend hours fucking my partner.

We don't get bored in bed together, and we don't get bored in life together. I cannot see how my life would benefit from swinging, and neither can he.

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

It would not make me any happier to fuck someone else then it would to fuck my partner, and it would in fact make me happiest to just spend hours fucking my partner.


wOOt! Me too.
That is, I mean to say, fucking my partner. Not yours. Argh, you know what I mean.:D

[JeenYuss]

I don't understand how people view marriage as "just a piece of paper". Yes, it is a contract, but it is more than just a physical contract. It is also an emotional contract between the two people, and this emotional contract is one of the most important that people will ever enter into their entire lives.

Additionally, I want my partner to be happy too, and he wants me to be happy. And there are times that I look at men and lust intensely after them, but I do not need to be with them. It would not make me any happier to fuck someone else then it would to fuck my partner, and it would in fact make me happiest to just spend hours fucking my partner.

We don't get bored in bed together, and we don't get bored in life together. I cannot see how my life would benefit from swinging, and neither can he.

marriage is nothing but a contract

marrying someone has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with loving somebody

im going to love my girl regardless of whether a little piece of paper says i do or not

[Gatekeeper777]

I don't understand how people view marriage as "just a piece of paper". Yes, it is a contract, but it is more than just a physical contract. It is also an emotional contract between the two people, and this emotional contract is one of the most important that people will ever enter into their entire lives.

Additionally, I want my partner to be happy too, and he wants me to be happy. And there are times that I look at men and lust intensely after them, but I do not need to be with them. It would not make me any happier to fuck someone else then it would to fuck my partner, and it would in fact make me happiest to just spend hours fucking my partner.

We don't get bored in bed together, and we don't get bored in life together. I cannot see how my life would benefit from swinging, and neither can he.


as it is said in the bible.... if you lust after them in your heart then so you have had relations with them, ...... so in effect even tho you wanna.. according to god you allready did. so if your goona get nailed with the sin, ya might as well nail someone else. I use the bible as i see it touted alot around here.
God bless us all everyone.

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

Gatekeeper, just a couple more questions, if you'll bear with me.:)

I find it interesting that you ended your post with "Blessed Be". Are you Wiccan? If so, how can you state that death is forever?

And whose idea was it for you and your wife to start swinging, yours or hers, and at what point in your relationship did the conversation arise? I recall that on the True Confessions thread you stated that you fucked your wife's sister. Are these two incidents related (no pun intended) in any way?

Okay, I think that's it for my curiousity.:D I eagerly await your reply.

[Gatekeeper777]

ok, yes i am wiccan, altho i am not a hard liner so to speak i do tend to take some teaching with a grain of salt. (lol)
when I stated death is forever I should have ben more clear when i ment Death of the body, no fucking my sister in law is in no way related to our swinging.
that was before we decided to do it. Swinging was a conversation that we both was curious about, but as far as breaking the ice on the conversation i believe I spoke first about it. NOT so I can go out and tag every female i see. but as a way to express her sexuality and i can get fringe benifits.

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

I have several friends who are swingers (pagans and swinging seem to go together like peas and carrots), but I have always been reluctant to ask them questions about swinging because I don't want them to think I am the least bit interested. I have a hard enough time keeping my friends' husbands from groping me at parties. So I appreciate you taking the time to discuss this with me.

Thank you for your patience. Your answers have been quite informative.

[vileoxidation]

as it is said in the bible.... if you lust after them in your heart then so you have had relations with them, ...... so in effect even tho you wanna.. according to god you allready did. so if your goona get nailed with the sin, ya might as well nail someone else. I use the bible as i see it touted alot around here.
God bless us all everyone.

"As it said in the Bible..."

Okay, but you are a Wiccan, and I don't run my life according to the Bible, so that doesn't ring true for me. I can appreciate the beauty of another human being's body without having "had relations" with them in my mind.



marriage is nothing but a contract

marrying someone has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with loving somebody

im going to love my girl regardless of whether a little piece of paper says i do or not

Okay, I agree. The actual piece of paper stating the marriage is not the contract I mean. I believe in rights for homosexuals, and respect that even if the government doesn't recognize their union they are still wed.

However, the contract I am talking about is an EMOTIONAL one. It can be made by any people at any time, but the most common time is as the same time as the actual marriage. This is a contract between the two people, agreeing to love and care for and protect and respect the other.

That is the contract I am talking about, not the marriage license.

[Gatekeeper777]

You are very welcome. I am glad i could educate you and your members here. however it was an education in gatekeeper. Differant people have differant reasons for swinging. I know of one couple who swing on saturday but attend service on sunday morning. (SHAKING HEAD) i still cant figure that one out. guilt maybe.
I have nothing to be guilty for or about as each second of life i experiance make me.....well me.
I am glad you got thte virtual tour of my brain...be afraid. be very afraid. roflmao

[Gatekeeper777]

I have several friends who are swingers but I have always been reluctant to ask them questions about swinging because I don't want them to think I am the least bit interested. I have a hard enough time keeping my friends' husbands from groping me at parties. So I appreciate you taking the time to discuss this with me.

Thank you for your patience. Your answers have been quite informative.

I find that to be very odd........ Especially when the first rule of swinging is NO means NO!
If they are not honoring your wishes of NO. Then they are showing you the greatest disrespect of all. not honoring your wishes.

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

. I know of one couple who swing on saturday but attend service on sunday morning. (SHAKING HEAD) i still cant figure that one out. guilt maybe.

Blessed are those who cum in the name of the Lord?

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

I find that to be very odd........ Especially when the first rule of swinging is NO means NO!
If they are not honoring your wishes of NO. Then they are showing you the greatest disrespect of all. not honoring your wishes.
Oh these aren't swinger parties. It's usually Samhain/Yule/New Year's. I think it's cause they get wasted, and some of them assume that I swing cause I'm pagan, and cause I'm friends with swingers. Sort of a birds of a feather thing.

[Gatekeeper777]

My favorite holiday is samhain. Yule is ok i guess. lol
IMHO even if they are even a birthday party no means no. its a swingers credo.

[HighSeekerz]

3somes is the way to go... And it happens a lot nowadays...

Me letting some dude fuck my wife...??? NOT!!

And the swingers clubs are all full of overweight, nasty ass folks who are hoping to get to swap UP to a hotter chick... Been there...didnt do that!

[rebgirl420]

I couldnt do it because im a bit of a jealous lover but I think that if you like that sort of thing then go ahead. If I wasn't a jealous person I could do it. Im a bit of an exhibitionist I suppose.

[Prunedale]

I couldnt do it because im a bit of a jealous lover but I think that if you like that sort of thing then go ahead. If I wasn't a jealous person I could do it. Im a bit of an exhibitionist I suppose.

We can tell lol. Or I can. (Nothin but luv for ya)
I'm in the same boat, I'm a jealous lover too. Just about my girl though. All for me and All for me lol. I'd do a group sesh with other people though. Safely yes.