should i?

[gabee42ee]

alright so here goes one of my 9000 questions i ask on here.... everyone on cannabis is so helpfull anyways ...
so theres this guy who i have known since about 9th grade wen we dated. i dont even remeber why we broke up. but anyways not im a senior and we still keep in touch despite only going out for a month. hes in college in boston and im here in philly. he is one of the smartest guys i know, and well im not the brightest star in the sky, so im not sure what he would see in me. i know he wants to hook up with me because hes told me a bunch of times. and he also is always telling me how pretty i am n shit. but im scared he will be using me. i also think he might think im a hoe and that id put out. should i go for it? i just dont no wut he would see in me other than ass ... we do talk a lot but i feel like he interupts me a lot bc im stupid and i guess i dont have as important things to talk about as him? or maybe he does actually like me for me? i dont know. im confused and scared ill get used agian, because i actually like him. sorry this was so long. peace all. :hippy: :stoned:

[lagstronaut]

don't tell him you plan on doing this, but if I were you I would meet up with him like you both want to but don't even so much as kiss him. If he still wants to chill with you after he's gone then you'll know he's serious

[Samwhore]

never have sex unless you want to,

if hes pressuring you, thats a no no

[B.Basher]

Doesn't sound like a good idea to me. Usually if there's even a tinge of worry then that's reason enough, but hey, you know what you want. Just do what you feel.

[thcbongman]

It's up to you. If you don't want to be used, don't let yourself be used. Don't do anything you'll regret.

Just remember, reminesing with an ex, almost always ends up in sex.

[azure]

dont assume he'll use you just because you think hes smarter than you

[Frivolous248]

don't tell him you plan on doing this, but if I were you I would meet up with him like you both want to but don't even so much as kiss him. If he still wants to chill with you after he's gone then you'll know he's serious

I definitely agree.

Don't give him ANYTHING. And if he keeps coming on to you, that might be a good sign too. Especially if hes persistent in touching you and trying to make a move.

[gabee42ee]

don't tell him you plan on doing this, but if I were you I would meet up with him like you both want to but don't even so much as kiss him. If he still wants to chill with you after he's gone then you'll know he's serious

thats exactly wut im going to do ....

hes not the type to EVER pressure me into doing anything which is one of the resons i like him but i still have a hard time beliveing he likes me for me ...

well have to see

thanks everyone

[tek(bdm)]

opposites attract!

[napolitana869]

let us know how it turns out.

[BabyFacedAbortion]

okay, my boyfriend is a complete MORON and I like to think of myself as relatively intelligent but I love him to death. Plus, you don't seem stupid girl.

[gabee42ee]

well thank u bfa ...

we ended up chilling a lot this week ... we didnt do shit though ... im gonna go visit him up at school in 2 weeks ... and illl do stuff with him then. it was nice being with someone who was a guy that actually likes me and didnt have to get with me to be around me

[Skink]

First thing U need to work is how not to belittle yourself...

[NewbiePacker]

Looks like he wants a piece of your ass. Be careful......See what happens....


alright so here goes one of my 9000 questions i ask on here.... everyone on cannabis is so helpfull anyways ...
so theres this guy who i have known since about 9th grade wen we dated. i dont even remeber why we broke up. but anyways not im a senior and we still keep in touch despite only going out for a month. hes in college in boston and im here in philly. he is one of the smartest guys i know, and well im not the brightest star in the sky, so im not sure what he would see in me. i know he wants to hook up with me because hes told me a bunch of times. and he also is always telling me how pretty i am n shit. but im scared he will be using me. i also think he might think im a hoe and that id put out. should i go for it? i just dont no wut he would see in me other than ass ... we do talk a lot but i feel like he interupts me a lot bc im stupid and i guess i dont have as important things to talk about as him? or maybe he does actually like me for me? i dont know. im confused and scared ill get used agian, because i actually like him. sorry this was so long. peace all. :hippy: :stoned:

[birdgirl73]

Remember what we were talking about on that other thread, Gabee? About waiting a little longer to put out sexually until you really have an opportunity to see whether there's a friendship there or anything in common besides him just wanting in your pants? To not allow yourself to be used but instead to hold out and see if indeed the guy's interested in you as a person and not just a conquest? That's why people, especially lovely, perfectly intelligent young ladies such as yourself--particularly girls who tend to underestimate themselves--need to wait a little longer before becoming physically intimate to let some friendship intimacy develop first. That way you won't underestimate your worth to a guy as a friend or romantic relationship by selling out too soon as only a piece of ass. That's how you end up with that regretful, used feeling we were discussing in that other thread.

Now's your chance to try the hold-out technique. And I promise, it's the one technique that's guaranteed to keep him coming back so you can allow the time to let more than just physical attraction develop. Guys will keep coming back if the challenge is still in front of them. But once they've conquered that challenge, especially if you've given in so fast that there wasn't time for any type of relationship to develop, he'll be onto his next conquest fairly quickly. (Which is when the light bulb, until now, has gone on over your head and you've realized you've put out too soon and been used.)

Newbie's warning to be careful/wary about potentially being only a piece of ass is right on. Guys know these techniques better than anyone. "Oh baby, I definitely want to hook up with you." And "You are SO beautiful" are appealing and flattering things to hear. But if you listen between the lines, you're not exactly hearing, "Hey, I want to know about you." Or "C'mon and let's go to dinner and a movie so we can talk." You're actually hearing young-man parlance for "I want in your pants ASAP."

Keep up the holdout a little longer, OK? If you really like him and you like yourself enough to believe you're worth a relationship and not just a couple of hookups, just keep holding out on sex till you see if he's really worthy of your company, much less your body. You would probably benefit a lot from a book that's helped many young women called The Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. Do a Google search on The Rules and just read a bit. There's another book I've heard my single friends talk about, too, called He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth To Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt that's a good one for girls who tend to fall into the pattern of hooking up with the wrong guys. Good luck!