some good advice !

[friendowl]

anyone with any good input feel free to add....

my lil bit of parental advice is this ,

if you put your babies or lil kids to sleep early
like at 830 every night , when they get older
they will stick to that pattern and leave you in peace
if you let your kids stay up with you , after some time
you will go crazy cuz you need time by yourself

another thing is dont let them sleep in your bed with you
they will get used to it and never leave
i made the mistake of letting my lil son sleep with me
and know he hates to be alone in his room at night
but my lil girl who has slept alone since day one
wont sllep anywhere but in her bed

[birdgirl73]

That was very good advice, both parts of it. Wish I'd heeded it when my mom told me the same stuff when I was a young mother. I got in the bad habit of letting our son sleep with us when he was a small infant and it was just easier to nurse him and put him between us in the bed instead of taking him back down the hall to his own room. And sure enough, it was hard later to get him to sleep alone in his own bed. And until he was well up into elementary school, he still came and crawled in with us when he had bad dreams or when there were storms or something. Fortunately, that eventually ended. But I also let him stay up too late with me, which was also hard later. Now he's a night owl like me and sometimes has a hard time getting up on time in the mornings. Good advice, Friendowl!

[Samwhore]

same thing with sweets,
if you feed them healthier foods,
theyll most likey prefer them over sweets

[slipknotpsycho]

anyone with any good input feel free to add....

my lil bit of parental advice is this ,

if you put your babies or lil kids to sleep early
like at 830 every night , when they get older
they will stick to that pattern and leave you in peace
if you let your kids stay up with you , after some time
you will go crazy cuz you need time by yourself

another thing is dont let them sleep in your bed with you
they will get used to it and never leave
i made the mistake of letting my lil son sleep with me
and know he hates to be alone in his room at night
but my lil girl who has slept alone since day one
wont sllep anywhere but in her bed

lol.. my grandma let me sleep with her everynight... then i got older.. and i was scared to be in my own room (like to the point where i'd spend five minutes in there and run the fuck out with my adrenaline pumping.. like if i was being chased by some psycho with a big ass knife) got 10x worse if it was dark... i was even scared to be alone in any dark enviroment... didn't get over it til i was like 16-17 :o it sucked, and no matter how many times i told myself i was gonna get through it and just sit there and not run out, i always ended up doing so...

so yeah, definately don't let your kids sleep in your bed with you...

oh yeah, our son stays up til like 11-12... but he gets up between 7-9 religously..

[Fengzi]

Good advice friendowl. It comes down to consistancy. Young children need it. You can't expect them to go to bed at 8:30 one day just because you want them to if you let them stay up to 10:00 every other night.

The only parenting advice I can think of off the top of my head is along the same line. "No" should always mean no. Don't tell them "no" and then give in after some whining or crying. It will just teach them that whining or crying will get them what they want. Once you say "no" never give in. After a while they'll come to realize that whining and crying isn't going to help and they won't do it anymore. If it's something that is up for debate tell them "maybe" instead and then go from there. The trick is that, as the parent, you need to make the quick decision between whether something is "no" or "maybe".

[Its a Plant]

No does mean "no," but I remember one time I got in trouble and was sent to bed with...no dessert, and boy was I ticked.

Then like an hour later my dad sneaks in my room and gives me a bowl of ice cream...stuff like that is nice...once in a while...

[MastaChronic]

heres my good advice

dont be fool, wrap your tool

[stinkyattic]

same thing with sweets,
if you feed them healthier foods,
theyll most likey prefer them over sweets
Yes that is absolutely true... my mom did NOT let me drink soda or eat sweets, including 'kid style' breakfast cereal.
Even on my birthday she got in the habit of making carrot cake... my FAVORITE!!!!
I have never had a single cavity in my life and still prefer to snack on olives and cheese... the only sweet thing I can't live without is CHOCOLATE !!!

[geonagual]

This is kind of interesting and didn't notice the new parenting forum. That is good advice, owl. I have a 14 and 11 yo girls and they dont stay up late. Always had a set bedtime of 9 p.m. My 11 yo now goes to bed around 8:30 pm and has her alarm set for 5:30 am every school day (it is her preference). I have given more leeway to my 14 yo. She can go to bed when she is tired now.

Never hit your kids.
For discipline, my girls have always did exercises, timeouts and corner time.

[Fengzi]

heres my good advice

dont be fool, wrap your tool

:rolleyes: If only someone had told your father this.



Never hit your kids.
For discipline, my girls have always did exercises, timeouts and corner time.

I agree, never hit your kids. We do the timeout/corner time thing too. Or, we take something away. "Do what I've told you or I will take your (fill in the blank) away and you won't have it anymore" This usually works best for us when the thing we'd take is directly related to her misbehaving. For example, we want her to come to the table for dinner but she's playing with a specific toy instead.

I'm curious about the exercises though. What type of exercises are you talking about. I've got this picture of a hard ass Marine drill seargeant yelling "you little maggot, drop and give me 20" to a 3 yo. But if it works, hell, fill me in.

[geonagual]

I'm curious about the exercises though. What type of exercises are you talking about. I've got this picture of a hard ass Marine drill seargeant yelling "you little maggot, drop and give me 20" to a 3 yo. But if it works, hell, fill me in.

Well, I was a Marine. But now I am a stoned former Marine. So, I have more balance. For exersizes, we would do push-ups, mountain climbers and my favorite, the crab walk. I swear when my youngest was 6, she could do over 100 perfect push ups in a row.
Now, I cant get away with the exersizes. They are getting too old so I had to adjust the way I disciplined them.

[Fengzi]

They are getting too old so I had to adjust the way I disciplined them. "They are getting to old", or you are ? ;) Just kidding, how old were they when you started this? I really like the idea because it sounds like its a punishment that will do some good other than just correcting the behavior. My only concern would be that they'd develop some deep seated aversion to exercise and wind up some out of shape couch potato later in life. Any indication of this or has it been just the opposite?

[birdgirl73]

That exercise thing is interesting to me, but it also worries me a tad. I'd worry that, rather than making a pleasant association with exercise, my kids might begin to associate exercise with punishment and not be inclined to exercise for health and relaxation/recreation as they get older. That'd be my personal hesitation with that approach. When I was teaching, one of our districtwide policies was not to force kids to write as punishment. That was a fairly common penance when I was growing up--to have to write "I will not throw dirt balls on the playground" (or whatever) 50 times on paper or the blackboard--and they now know that that sort of punishment quickly begins to make kids associate negative feelings with writing, which schools have enough trouble encouraging students to do anyway. At home, I used time-outs, restriction of freedoms, removal of privileges and, if necessary, possessions like games/electronics, which did the trick with our son. He liked being able to do what he wanted and play with his stuff, so he generally toed the line if his "things" were at risk of being taken away.

The best kid-raising technique I ever learned as a young parent was the use of choices. I heard a wonderful, widely published pediatrician, Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, talk about this on TV when my boy was just an infant, and it worked wonders when he got to the toddler years. When he began to throw a three-year-old fit or refuse to do something (for us, it was the terrible threes, not twos), we presented him with a choice. "OK, son, you can either sit here and refuse to put your shoes on and we can stay home, or you can put your shoes on and we can go to the park after we run errands." Or, "You can either hold my hand as we cross this parking lot, or we can go right back to the car and not go into the store at all." The choices let him feel in control and didn't give him the option to simply refuse since that didn't occur to him when presented with two fairly easy-to-weigh options. I used that technique on him till he was well up into elementary school and finally figured out what I was up to.

(Fengzi, I see you asked the same question I did above. I started this post and then the phone rang, and so I didn't see that you'd posted the same thing. Sorry!)

[VaporDaddy]

great thread everyone!
just my two cents...When your child throws a tantrum always try to be as calm as possible, speak in a normal voice, don't feel like you have to stop the behavior a.s.a.p. Be firm in your stance on the issue, don't ever give in if you are "right" or the child will learn to manipulate you.
Ignore bad behavior and reward good behavior.
when your child must be disciplined just remain calm and Consistent, they are smart, they'll learn about consequences quickly.
Choose your battles wisely!
I guess that was more than $0.02, oops

[friendowl]

that was like 5 cents vapordad

[slipknotpsycho]

FO, no she didn't snore lol....

[friendowl]

hey slip
when i was a lil ass kid
there was no where for me to sleep but in my grandmas room
one night when she was snoring all loud keeping me awake
i started playing "g.i. joe" on her body [she was the mountain]
i had all kinds of soldiers posted up on and around her
i was flying the plane whn i accidentally dropped it on her face
the mountain erupted and gi joes went flying everywhere

[slipknotpsycho]

hey slip
when i was a lil ass kid
there was no where for me to sleep but in my grandmas room
one night when she was snoring all loud keeping me awake
i started playing "g.i. joe" on her body [she was the mountain]
i had all kinds of soldiers posted up on and around her
i was flying the plane whn i accidentally dropped it on her face
the mountain erupted and gi joes went flying everywhere

lmfao i dunno why but that made me crack up laughing... i think it was mostly the bolded part

[dutch.lover]

I thought I would comment on a few things, although I am not a parent.

I don't agree with hitting as punishment either, but from personal experience I know that from the first couple of times my mom spanked my bum...I was so scared of it happening again I smartened up real good. I am sure there are better methods out there, but this one worked for me. I haven't noticed time-outs or sitting in the corner to work very well, but maybe that's not a representative sample that I have observed.

As for the healthy eating thing, it can get to a point where it backfires. Maybe this only happens with certain kids, but my best friend grew up in a household that only ate very healthy (no sweets and low/no-fat everything in their cupboard) and whenever she was out of that environment she would stuff her face with sweets! She eats more candy and chips than probably anyone I know. Also, because her parents would buy stuff like no-butter microwave popcorn, her and her siblings would turn around and add massive amounts of melted butter and salt to it to compensate. That's even worse than just buying the butter flavored stuff IMO. You starting to see what I mean? Their family is healthy in other ways, like exercise, which is probably a good thing, to balance out the kids' binge-junk-food-eating!

[Samwhore]

lmfao i dunno why but that made me crack up laughing... i think it was mostly the bolded part

yeah me too,

G.I. Joes RULE

[birdgirl73]

Yeah, we were learning about the healthy eating/psychology of children with food factor in medical psychopathology back in the fall. It was really interesting. Apparently kids learn that food is "magical" when it's withheld or monitored too closely. So parents who make a big show of withholding so-called unhealthy foods and sugary things teach the kids quickly that those foods are more powerful than they really are. And consequently, those foods become the more desirable ones to kids. This is how compulsive overeaters are made, too. Parents over-limit foods and portions, which teaches the kid that foods are "magical" and need to be hoarded or overeaten since they might be limited in the future. The result is not good later in life. If toddlers and little ones are left to their own devices, they generally eat what they want in the amounts they need. But if parents do a lot of limiting and pushing of certain foods over others, kids, who are very smart, intuitive beings, quickly learn which foods and amounts are magical and which ones aren't. This happens before the age of 3, generally, and is a pattern that's entrenched very early. Yet it affects them for the rest of their lives.

[liberiamom]

hey slip
when i was a lil ass kid
there was no where for me to sleep but in my grandmas room
one night when she was snoring all loud keeping me awake
i started playing "g.i. joe" on her body [she was the mountain]
i had all kinds of soldiers posted up on and around her
i was flying the plane whn i accidentally dropped it on her face
the mountain erupted and gi joes went flying everywhere

LOL!!!! I can picture that :)

[geonagual]

"They are getting to old", or you are ? ;) Just kidding, how old were they when you started this? I really like the idea because it sounds like its a punishment that will do some good other than just correcting the behavior. My only concern would be that they'd develop some deep seated aversion to exercise and wind up some out of shape couch potato later in life. Any indication of this or has it been just the opposite?

First, my main discipline was time outs and I think I perfected. It was my style but it was the funnest. I would make them sit on the couch/chair, whatever, put their hands on their knees, put their head down and absolutely no talking. It was very effective and I would just have to say the word "time out" and they would assume the position.

Sometimes I would do the corner and that was effective too. Usually when they were crying. I would make them stand there till I knew their legs were hurting. Couldn't touch the walls and head down.

Exercize. I can't actually say that it was a discipline. It is hard for me to explain. I didn't do it all the time. Just on certain occasions when I thought it would be appropriate. Mostly minor infractions and there would always be a set # and they couldn't be done till they were done.

I don't think it has made them lazy. My youngest loves to exercize. Hikes with me, gymnastics and still can do about 50 perfect push-ups in a row. She is called the "push-up" queen. It mostly was a game with her.

My oldest did hate it and was always lackluster doing her exercises. I didn't push too hard, but it was the act that she hated. I mostly stood her in the corner and gave her timeouts.

As for now, they are good girls.

I am still working on punishments for now. They definitely don't deserve a spanking. I don't wanna stand them in the corner anymore. They are too old for that, same with the timeouts. Mostly now is a strict talking too if need be. Take away computer/phone priveleges. Thats about it.

[Ibu Jari]

anyone with any good input feel free to add....

my lil bit of parental advice is this ,

if you put your babies or lil kids to sleep early
like at 830 every night , when they get older
they will stick to that pattern and leave you in peace
if you let your kids stay up with you , after some time
you will go crazy cuz you need time by yourself

another thing is dont let them sleep in your bed with you
they will get used to it and never leave
i made the mistake of letting my lil son sleep with me
and know he hates to be alone in his room at night
but my lil girl who has slept alone since day one
wont sllep anywhere but in her bed


Establishing a bedtime is wonderful and all, but there are some pretty huge benifits to sleeping with your children, especially in the first year. That doesn't mean it's for everyone, but it's false the they'll never leave.

[Amun]

anyone with any good input feel free to add....

my lil bit of parental advice is this ,

if you put your babies or lil kids to sleep early
like at 830 every night , when they get older
they will stick to that pattern and leave you in peace
if you let your kids stay up with you , after some time
you will go crazy cuz you need time by yourself

another thing is dont let them sleep in your bed with you
they will get used to it and never leave
i made the mistake of letting my lil son sleep with me
and know he hates to be alone in his room at night
but my lil girl who has slept alone since day one
wont sllep anywhere but in her bed



eh.


i dono about all that now.


i slept in my parents bed and I never really remember sleeping in it after the age of like 6, i believe.

never really wanted to....but i mean of course i was scared to sleep alone.